clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Twas The Night Before Christmas...

Seattle Mariners v Detroit Tigers
I googled “John Fisher” and here’s what came up.
Photo by Mark Cunningham/MLB Photos via Getty Images

Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was spending
Not even a louse

The stockings were hung
by the chimney with care
Hoping $1.1 billion
would somehow be there

The Kavals were nestled
all snug in their castle
while actual renderings
seemed a bit of a hassle

Now Fisher! Now Manfred!
Lombardi on now!
Our quest for Las Vegas
is holier than Thao!

But the mayor is smarter
than your average bear
For her toughness and savvy
Rob did not prepare

“Call your team something else,
leave our A’s just the same”
Will you be in the desert
on a horse with no name?

We’re broke, soon we’re homeless
and haven’t a clue
So we plow our sleigh forward
as if really we knew

where the hell we’ll be playing
in 4/25
Or if ever a stadium
will actually arrive

Build the park on 9 acres?
Have you seen a damn map?
(Have you seen anyone lately
shop at the Gap?)

Will they knock down the Bally’s
then try to arrest us
when we cough and complain
about all the asbestos?

Yes 9 acres are waiting,
if a bit of a travel
That fresh wing of hell
built for Fisher and Kaval

On Muller! On Hoglund!
Besides having Gelof
This group is your rebuild
upon the big selloff?

Free agents just laugh
after Forst makes his offers
when “floating a concept”
because of bare coffers

The Dodgers are thriving
with their fun store bought-ery
The A’s just more screwed by
bad luck in the lottery

Yet Boyle and Miller
and also Hernaiz
Offer visions of sugar plums
and better days

Now Butler! Now Soderstrom!
Next we’ll see Clarke!
If the A’s contend soon
wouldn’t that be a lark?

With St. Nick played by Allen
we’ll fight the good fight
Happy A’s-mas to all
and to all a good night

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, AN! However anything shakes down, we still always have each other. Or something sappy like that.