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Oakland A’s pitcher Mike Fiers exited his start on Saturday in the second inning due to nerve irritation in his arm, which is a bummer both for the player and the team. Fortunately the prognosis is generally optimistic so far.
To add insult to injury, the health issue overshadowed what should have been the story of the day: The most incredible beard that’s shown up on the baseball field in a long time. Not necessarily the best or the worst beard. Just the weirdest, most unique one that we’ve possibly ever seen.
Behold.
Caption contest with Mike Fiers' beard. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd GO!!! pic.twitter.com/QVOS7FUi7J
— A's on NBCS (@NBCSAthletics) September 15, 2019
Enhance.
Mike Fiers looks like he glued a cat’s tail to his face pic.twitter.com/4CMJNAuh4i
— Bay Area Sports Guy (@BASportsGuy) September 15, 2019
Turn your head and model the whole thing for us please, Mike.
We have no words.
— Subscribe to Cut4 on YouTube!!!! (@Cut4) September 15, 2019
Just.....Mike Fiers.....wow. pic.twitter.com/pdUQmoo7aW
What exactly is it? Guesses on social media ranged from a number 6, to a letter G, to a cinnamon roll. Cut4 analyzed it, and they included my favorite take that I’ve seen so far:
— Sergio Ríos (@SoySergioRios) September 15, 2019
It turns out that it’s called a “cat tail,” and he wore it because nobody thought he would.
Fiers and some teammates googled the craziest facial hair they could and found the “cat tail” he wore tonight. No one thought he would do it. He is clean shaven now because he got hurt wearing it.
— Susan Slusser (@susanslusser) September 15, 2019
More details from insider Alyson Footer:
“They dared me to do it,” Fiers said. “They didn’t think I’d go out there and pitch with it. I didn’t care.”
Of course, this is just the latest example in the A’s long history of memorable facial hair. They were the original Mustache Gang back in the 70s, led by Rollie Fingers’ iconic handlebars. They’ve had their share of bushy beards, including Josh Reddick and Sean Doolittle, and now broadcaster Dallas Braden. Tim Hudson had his stinger, Josh Donaldson experimented with mutton chops when he first came up, and Mark Canha rocked Ace Ventura sideburns for years. On top of the noggin, Coco Crisp had one of baseball’s all-time afros, and Sean Manaea is following in those footsteps.
But this cat tail is something else. Fiers drew a lot of mockery for the unorthodox look, but I for one will stand in support. When it comes time to shave off a beard, I’m a big fan of making something goofy out of it before shearing the rest off, and this is better than anything I’ve ever thought to try. It’s perfectly Oakland in its weirdness, and between the thick fullness of his hair and the care and precision of the grooming, it looks as good and as intentional as this design ever possibly could. If he’d kept this for a while then maybe it could have been a thing.
Alas, the cat tail is already gone. As noted by Slusser above, Fiers shaved it off after the game, spurred by the fact that he got hurt while wearing it. We only got to see two innings of its majesty, and we could barely even enjoy that amid worrying about the health of his arm, but that brief glimpse was still better than nothing.
The cat tail beard is dead. Long live the cat tail beard.
Poll
Your thoughts on Fiers’ cat tail beard?
This poll is closed
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47%
Love it! Wish he’d kept it.
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47%
Funny for one game but glad it’s gone.
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5%
Terrible and never should have happened.