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Cindi Gets Ready For FestFan!

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If that headline isn't "click bait" I don't know what is. For those who haven't met Cindi, she is a 16-year old cosmetology student whose cooking is literally to die for, and she loves her "hotties" -- currently her favorite players are "super hottie Chris Beagle" and "not at all hottie Stefan Vote" and she thinks she likes the guy who plays third-plate but she wants to know his astrological sign before she commits. To quote her exactly: "Yonder -- can you imagine if that was a real name???"

So FanFest is tomorrow and reportedly bloggers will be treated to interviews with Mark Rzepczynski, John Axford, and David Forst, presumably with an access code that requires us to correctly type in R-Z-E-P-C-Z-Y-N-S-K-I in order to gain entry.

I am reminded of the gate code to my school, which has a round key pad with five buttons. They are labeled I, II, III, IV, and V, because evidently the key pad was purchased somewhere between 1,950-2,000 years ago. Probably on eBay. So you can't enter if you don't know the sequence or if you don't know roman numerals. Actually no one seems to know the sequence so much as they know where on the circle to punch buttons. "I don't know if it's a 2 or a 4 but it's kind of upper-left, y'know?" I plan to use a similar strategy tomorrow: "When in doubt, try a 'Z' and hope for the best." Or if I'm feeling frisky maybe I'll throw in a "silent-IV" and see what happens.

I have about 24 hours to come up with better questions than "So why aren't you better?" and "Thanks, Frost," but like Sean Nolin's fastball I'll get there eventually. Armed with my state-of-the-art 1980s Radio Shack cassette tape recorder, I'm coming to FanFest in the best shape of my life: specifically, a rhombus, which is a cool shape right down to its name.

Perhaps you have some actual questions to suggest for this triumvirate of A's-ness. It's tricky because you're not going to get into too much minutiae with a reliever ("So tell us about the spin on your slider...") and you're not going to engage Forst in a discussion of what move the A's are about to make. ("We haven't said this to anyone yet, but we're close to trading Olson because internally we actually think he's terrible.")

So the trick is to ask questions that are simultaneously interesting and relevant, answerable and respectful, thought-provoking and original. Alrighty then! I actually do have one for Mr. Forst but unless you guess what it is I'm not saying. If you have some ideas for questions/topics, fire away and I'll try to incorporate them into the session unless they're the kind that get you blacklisted such as, "Just wondering: have you ever considered trying to pitch with the other arm instead?" I won't make that mistake again.