Things just went from bad to really bad to really, really bad to really, really, really bad.— Jane Lee (@JaneMLB) April 22, 2015
Jane Lee succinctly sums up tonight's game. Alternate classic recap lines are as follows:
A’s 1-59 Angels
Giavotella with 54 Rbi’s
Just say a game happened, mistakes were made, we’ll see everyone tomorrow.
You could do a recap in 4 words and the last 2 words begin with an F and then a S
Stuff Happened, Things that the A's didn't want
Hope abandoned. Result elementary.
Print. Send. See everybody tomorrow.
A's sucked. **** y'all for expecting a recap.
Eazy peezy lemon squeezy.
So cowgill almost scored on a single he hit to sogard
There is your recap BBG
For those of you who would like a traditional recap, and I don't know who you are exactly, but suffice to say, the highlight we were all looking for staring down the barrel of a 14-1 late inning deficit would have been a Craig Gentry hit. Naturally, the A's couldn't have any nice things today--save for a solo home run by Billy Butler--so of course Gentry, who was leading off for a reason that escapes me, went 0-4 to rack up an 0-22 start to the season. Ouch. But then we did get a highlight; Ike Davis pitched the eighth. A scoreless eighth, which is more than ALL of the A's real pitchers tonight. Oh, and I think he threw about 88.
Fun fact; the A's had nearly as many errors in this one as they did hits, as it wasn't Semien's best night either. The A's did indeed turn a single into nearly a Little-League home run and they did a whole lot of other bad things as well.
Drew Pomeranz laid out his case very clearly for why I dread the recaps for his starts by basically giving every single Angels' hitter a full count, taking a million years on the mound, throwing the hittable pitches instead of the real pitches in his arsenal and just plain taking forever. Pomeranz was at 59 pitches through two innings, well over an hour into the game; it was a minor miracle he made it into the sixth. Of course, he might be regretting that choice; he left with 8 hits and 4 earned runs. Believe it or not, R.J. Alverez pitched even worse in relief; he was tagged for seven runs, and even Abad gave up 2 of his own.
From balls hitting umpires for base hits, to the A's losing pivotal challenges, to giving up 4 RBI to something called Johnny Giavotella, the universe and the A's pitching conspired together to give the Angels their first home win.
Move along, nothing to see here. Sonny Gray will take the mound to win the next one tomorrow night. We'll see you right here with all the action!