Hello A's Fans:

My name is Venndaubie and I'll be your community pre/postgame host today.

Has the season started yet? No? Still another week and a half? I could go into the spring battles and 'everyone stay healthy' but that's been done to death. I sense the AN readership wants something new…wait a minute, are we playing the Cubs?

How about the Billy Goat curse vs. The Curse of Tantalus? Or Bartman vs. The Giambi Slide? Nah, fresh territory awaits us: Let's fast forward a quarter century to 2040 and pretend that Billy Beane and Theo Epstein have been challenged by the Commissioner to a two-men-enter, winner-take-all deathmatch debate for Hall of Fame enshrinement. It'd go something like this:

Theo: I resuscitated two moribund franchises.

Billy: Whatever. I took a moribund franchise that was nearly always in the bottom quarter of payroll to the playoffs half the time I was in office.

Theo: Youngest GM ever!

Billy: You only got a job because I turned down the Sox to hang out with my little girl.

Theo: Don't you think it is funny, back in 2015 when I signed Lester, got Cespedes at the Trade Deadline and had Russell in the minors?

Billy: Big money teams, there ain't no justice in the world.

Commissioner: Billy, you're in. Theo, get bent.

Billy: Don't stop me now, while I was distracting him I had negotiated with the Cubs to trade my AA Closer for Theo; He's my new traveling secretary.

Commissioner: I figure after screwing Oakland on a stadium for years, this is the least I could do. How's Moneyball Stadium at Jack London Square working out for you guys?

What? Not into nutty prognostics? Fine, today's gamethread and recap will be brought to you via MLB.com and Game Day. Click here to make the jump.

Lefties PomPom and Zito should be making pitching appearances for the A's, the Cubs are starting righty Edwin Jackson.

Click here for Injury Updates. Nickel summary: Doolittle is throwing, Reddick is progressing.

Lineups from GameDay:

Your Oakland Athletics:

1. Crisp, LF Burns, LF
2. Fuld, CF
3. Zobrist, RF
4. Butler, DH
5. Davis, 1B
6. Semien, SS
7. Vogt, C
8. Ladendorf, 2B
9. Sogard, 3B

Bleeding Cubbie Blue:

1. Fowler, CF
2. Lake, LF
3. Soler, RF
4. Rizzo, 1B
5. Bryant, 3B
6. Montero, C
7. Baez, 2B
8. Russell (Hiiiii), SS

See you in the comments!