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4 Wacky Predictions One Of Which Might Come True

I'm sorry -- he leaves what?
I'm sorry -- he leaves what?
Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

It's all about the percentages. If you're a batter and you can get a hit one time in four at bats you're having a career year, sincerely, Bobby Crosby. If you're a prospect and out of four years you have one that isn't awful you're a star, sincerely, Jemile Weeks. If you're a pitcher and you can deliver a 1-2-3 inning once every four appearances you're earning your $10M, sincerely, Jim Johnson.

OK, so maybe one out of four isn't that great even in baseball. But given these daring predictions, you will have to be impressed if even one of them turns out to be correct.

Prediction #1

Mark Canha will pull a Grant Desme and abruptly quit baseball in order to join the priesthood. He will develop a new religious model so compelling that it will revolutionize the Catholic Church and he will wind up publishing a best seller. The title of the book will be "Brother Canha's Paradigm".

Prediction #2

Inspired to creativity by injuries to a couple outfielders, for a Kendall Graveman start Bob Melvin will construct a lineup that has five infielders, Craig Gentry in "left-center" and Josh Reddick in "right-center". It will work, with Graveman getting the win and Dan Otero the save.

Prediction #3

You didn't see Reddick's 32 HRs coming, you didn't see Coco's 22 HRs coming, and you didn't see Billy Butler's 9 HRs coming. Surprises in 2015 will include Marcus Semien hitting twice as many HRs as Ike Davis, and Josh Phegley out-homering Ben Zobrist.

Prediction #4

Sometime during the regular season, Ken Korach and Vince Cotroneo will acknowledge, on the air, that my mother is in fact correct in taking issue with it when they use the expression "He leaves his feet!" They will admit that when you think about it, it's obvious that players do not in fact leave their feet but rather that their feet leave the ground, and that if a player ever did leave his feet there would probably be blood everywhere.

Any fearless predictions to submit for the record? Here's your chance to look like a genius...