Slow, Long Slide to Oblivion
Yesterday, not having to write about the game, I had the luxury of bailing in the 4th inning or so. At the time it was an incredibly boring 0-0 tie, the A's had already stranded some runners, and we all knew the same story would play out. A's pitch really well, can't hit at all, lose.
I am your host for tonight, so rest assured I will not be jumping off the sinking ship this evening. But I have some good news, there is land in sight! Looking at the map, before the boat sinks we might just make it to this island! The island's apparently called...Chokeland. Damn.
I've ceased looking at pitching matchups to predict rosy outcomes. Wade LeBlanc, Hector Santiago, Nick Martinez, some September call-up on the White Sox, the Angels' bullpen, and many other no-name pitchers have mowed down the A's lineups with ease.
Obviously if they make it to a wild card game, that will be mildly exciting for a couple days, that is until the game starts and the A's put 9 consecutive zeroes on the board, Lester pitches 8 innings of 1 run ball (1 unearned run, of course), and gets the hard luck loss to end this miserable collapse.
But even that "if" is still definitely an "if." As Jeremy Koo pointed out, the only way to ensure a postseason berth is win 2 out of 3 games. I'm not holding my breath. The A's barely pulled that off with a walk-off against Philly. I suppose the Angels have some incentive to beat the Mariners, good news for those hoping that the A's continue their miracle back-in to the wild card. No doubt if there was a wild card victory by the M's or A's, the Angels would rather play the A's than a team that is capable of hitting a home run, so they may want to put the M's out of their misery. When SB Nation ran a requiem to the Mariners' season, though, I knew the A's would find a way to keep them in it. So far, they have.
Some of you will be watching out of love for what you thought this team was, out of just being a fan, and out of sheer curiosity. But most of you will be finding better things to do with your Friday evening and might just casually check in here. Mercifully for A's fans, this game is in Texas and with the 5 pm start we will all still have plenty of time to salvage this evening by
doing something fun drinking ourselves into a stupor mid-game and passing out.
In a twist to the usual storyline, the A's pitcher also sucks tonight. Variety is the spice of life. All-Star Scott Kazmir vs. AAAA Nick Tepesch. If you have to bet on who allows less runs tonight, I imagine 99% of you put your hard-earned dough on Tepesch. The A's actually scored 3 runs off Tepesch just 10 days ago, but only 1 run was actually earned.
Surprise us, A's, or don't, whatever, who cares. The Rangers are a
tough spoiler a warm bodied collection of people in baseball uniforms so I'm not expecting anything from the A's tonight.
A's Collapse Bingo!
Now for something less depressing.
Thanks to enterprising reader Tai Tokeshi for putting together a hilarious A's collapse bingo game! We might as well have some fun with this one. There are 5 bingo boards below...I guarantee you will laugh. Play along as we watch the game. Since not all of us can focus that closely on any A's game nowadays, we'd appreciate it if any alert ANer announces in the thread when you notice that one of the events happened. Of course let us know when you hit BINGO. Of course, if you actually hit bingo, your prize is most likely an A's loss, but as a consolation you will have the undying admiration of the Athletics Nation community!
Pick any one of the 5 boards and roll with it. Like dot racing, only more interactive!
If you want to add extra fun to it, do a shot every time one of these things happens! ACTUALLY NO DO NOT DO THAT. YOU WILL DIE.
Here's tonight's Rangers lineup and the A's collection of pitch-watchers:
Dunn is hitting 2nd for the first time since July 1, 2008. Dunn doesn't mind:
Dunn indifferent to batting second, says, "It's not like we're screwing up a good thing."— Jane Lee (@JaneMLB) September 26, 2014
|OAKLAND A'S||TEXAS RANGERS|
|Coco Crisp - CF||Leonys Martin - CF|
|Adam Dunn - DH||Elvis Andrus - SS|
|Josh Donaldson - 3B||Ryan Rua - DH|
|Brandon Moss - 1B||Adrian Beltre - 3B|
|Jed Lowrie - SS||Jake Smolinski - LF|
|Josh Reddick - RF||Robinson Chirinos - C|
|Derek Norris - C||Adam Rosales - 1B|
|Sam Fuld - LF||Rougned Odor - 2B|
|Eric Sogard - 2B||Dan Robertson - RF|
|Scott Kazmir - LHP||Nick Tepesch - RHP|
Let's do something!