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Brad Mills and the value of one dollar

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The A's got a new starting pitcher for $1 on Tuesday. What else can you get for one dollar these days?

Pictured: The price of one Brad Mills.
Pictured: The price of one Brad Mills.
Otto Greule Jr

The Oakland Athletics added a new player on Tuesday when they acquired left-handed pitcher Brad Mills from the Brewers for $1. Not $1 million, but one single dollar. This kind of transaction is probably more common than we realize, since something has to go the other way to constitute a "trade," but it's not often reported and the novelty of the situation is immediately fun to play with. Dolla dolla Mills, y'all!

So, it cost a dollar to pick up the pitcher who I will hereafter refer to exclusively as Buck Mills. Wait, no, it's a spoonerism; his name is Mad Bills. Nah, the first one is better. Anyway, a dollar is twice as much as 50 cents, so hopefully Mills is at least twice as good at pitching as 50 Cent, who is more likely to hit a fan in the stands than he is to hit the strike zone. The burning question on everyone's mind, obviously, is this: What else can you buy for a dollar these days? Here's a partial list.

Things you can buy for a dollar:

- two postage stamps
- one song from the iTunes store (but not a really popular song, those are $1.29)
- 2 tacos from Jack In The Box, not including tax (but toilet paper is extra)
- a pack of Famous Amos cookies at the UC Hastings vending machine (via Jeremy)
- 4 days of late charges for a book from any Contra Costa County library
- half an hour of street parking in downtown Walnut Creek
- less than half an hour of street parking in San Francisco
- the ire of your bartender (if left as a tip for more than one drink)
- a second one of whatever you just bought off a late-nite infomercial

Things you cannot buy for a dollar:

- anything at a dollar store (sales tax, baby)
- one pitch by Jim Johnson (based on $10 million salary)
- bridge fare for any bridge in the Bay Area
- one gallon of gasoline
- a ride on MUNI
- a ride on BART
- a ride in a taxi
- a soda or a bottle of water at an A's game
- a soda or a bottle of water most places
- a bag of baseballs
- a single baseball
- the ATM fee to take out money at a machine from a different bank
- an avocado

So, where does Buck Mills rank on this list? Let us express our answer in video form, with a hat tip to Optimist Prime for linking this in another thread:

What else can you (or can't you) buy for one dollar? Share your ideas in the comments! I'll add the best ones to the list up here.