/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/29176701/474227951.0.jpg)
As you probably know, Major League Baseball is doing a silly contest on Twitter whereby fans vote for the Face of MLB. Every fanbase had to pick one player to represent their team, and every group picked its team's best or most popular player. Except for A's fans, who picked their miniature platoon second baseman because this is what happens when you have fan votes on the internet.
Naturally, with a boring contest and exactly one ridiculous option, the country has rallied behind #nerdpower and has voted him all the way to the semifinals. Yesterday, he out-polled Buster Posey by a margin of 55-45. I'd love to say that it was purely A's fans who did this, but c'mon. Giants fans are an internet-voting machine; Brandon Crawford nearly started the All-Star Game last year. We almost certainly got some help on this one.
We'll need even more help next time. (Is it tomorrow? I'm not really sure how this works.) (Update: Voting starts at 6a.m. PT Wednesday and goes all day.) Sogard will face Blue Jays star Jose Bautista and thus all of Canada, which has so much voting power that it even elected its own president (although they call him a "Prime Minister," whatever the hell that is). Every Twitter account can vote up to 25 times, so everyone's gonna need to pitch in.
Bautista is offering to follow the accounts of any fans who vote for him, but we don't need any gimmicks to vote for our guy. Except that his entire candidacy is sort of a gimmick. We only need one gimmick to vote for our guy, and it's cooler than Bautista's gimmick. Either way, I cannot offer you compensation. Only immortality.
If you're looking for ways to spice things up, here is some inspiration for you. Sure, you can just tweet the proper hashtags over and over if you want (#EricSogard and #FaceofMLB), but where's the fun in that? If you're going to make a farce of a process, you may as well do it with some flair.
I vote #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because what other sport could he be the face of?
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he hit more triples than the Giants catcher and triples are the most exciting play in baseball.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he is confident enough to go by his real first name.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because the American Institute of CPA's isn't having a contest.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because a cute kitten video isn't one of the options and he is the closest thing.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because there is nothing more patriotic than a platoon.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because a vote for him is a vote against Matt Garza.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he may not have seen my first few votes; his eyesight isn't the best.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because Kellogg's paid good money for product placement to get a Keebler Elf on the ballot.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because it's what Doo would do. @whatwouldDOOdo
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 24, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because both guys wear jersey No. 28 but Sogey wears it better.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because if he wins, the meme potential will be infinite.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because in Oakland, MVP stands for Myopic Visual Prescription.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because with great #nerdpower comes great #nerdresponsibility.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because if I don't, the Canadians might win. (next up: Jose Bautista)
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he doesn't hide behind a giant mask.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because if we don't stick up for the little guy, then no one might see him down there.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because in Moneyball 2 he'll be played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he knows more about pi than even Josh Reddick or Coco Crisp.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because what chicks really dig is solid infield defense.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he grew up in Phoenix, so for him, Spring Training started the day he was born.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because if we leave it up to Bud's Blue Ribbon Committee, we won't find out the winner for years.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because if he wins then maybe someone will come fix our stadium's sewer system.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because of the irony that the A's colors are green and gold and yet they have no money.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
I vote for #EricSogard as the #FaceofMLB because he shows that any kid, even the little one with glasses, can play ball.
— Alex Hall (@AlexHallAN) February 25, 2014
For more inspiration, check out NOT BUSTER OLNEY, who came up with some real gems. Or, share your favorites in the comments! And remember to vote tomorrow by making 25 tweets which each include the hashtags #EricSogard and #FaceofMLB at any point during the day!
(Author's note: Yes, I recognize the irony of ripping on this contest and then immediately and vigorously promoting it.)