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The Feel-Good Happy Thread - Quotes of the Month from the 2013 season

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Do you like to see your name in lights? Then check out our funniest quotes from this season so far, and add your own; I'm sure I've missed plenty!


With all the baseball doom and gloom lately, players' name besmirched and all that, I thought a lighter thread was needed for the rest of today until the A's game tomorrow night.

First of all, I found the game recap from Game 162 last year, and if you want to love the A's all over again, read this and the comments. It gave me goosebumps, and has me excited for the rest of the season, despite the A's recent struggles.

So without further ado, here are your quotes of the month, in no particular order:

drink409: You know what would be nice (besides a miracle DP). If Glen & Ray talked about the umpire alignment now that they are down to 3. Kind of curious.
GoldenStateGuerrero: Yeah.. but you can't eat the umpire alignment.

danmerqury : Crab...garlic...fries?
Ben Folds' Nuts: Those hunnies could be mad fly. Or they could be mad sh-tty. Probably depends on who makes them
themacgeek: You looking at Garlic Fries on Omegle now?
hero66: #madfryhunnies

(After Chad Gaudin’s story broke)
Athletix Man: do you also not even know why you're there?
drink409: Duh, the fly gurney hunnies.

J.J. Miller: these country music walk up songs make my ears bleed. apologies to moss and smith
themacgeek: Blues more your thing?
J.J. Miller: taylor swift, one direction, carly rae

danmerqury: Hooray for incredibly fickle Pennsylvania weather.
drink409: DFA Pennsylvania!!!

ak_A: could see that coming....body english was defeatist
Juicy_Couture_39: But the body German was life affirming

Lev Facher: "Pirate players, not pirates themselves. Actual Pittsburgh Pirates players." -Ray Fosse
hero66 : ray fosse, ladies and gents
Lev Facher: As if we would've been confused by him saying "Some of the great Pirates of all time"
I’ve heard the Captain Hook statue by the third base entrance is awesome

themacgeek: He lacks hustle
hero66: work ethic*
Drone: he needs to smile more
ObscurePlayerRefernece: he just don't care
themacgeek: He only cares about himself
Eruch: His MLB profile pic is a selfie.

ObscurePlayerRefernece: Yes I know my screen-name is misspelled. No, it wasn't intentional, I'm just that inept

tanghamilton: Holy sh*t. Just accidentally threw scissors into my ceiling fan when I saw that ball clear the fence…. LUCKY TO BE ALIVE

Formerly BackInBlackley: That baseball had a family, Cespedes!

Honka Playboy: They'll have to strap Colon to the bench like Odysseus to the mast during the sausage race tomorrow

Eruch: "Why even play the f---ing games? Why not just let Angel Hernandez play with his action figures for two hours, and then announce the winner to the press?"

Honka Playboy: good God, the seagulls are already divebombing the place
tc.athletics.91: meanwhile, the Coliseum sits seagull-less. #shame

GreenNGoldSooner : Seagull interference is a judgment call
The umpires have to decide where the seagull would have been had s/he not been hit by a batted ball and return him or her to that place.

ResopRock: "Haha! Four eyes!" -Eric Sogard
yacker: "LOL" -AJ Griffin
drink409: "Posers" - Chris Sabo

Lev Facher: A Giants fan who is probably 6'6", 250 lbs of muscle just sat next to me in the RF bleachers. So much for feeling comfortable heckling Hunter Pence….
stm72: tell him pence plays for the a's. like he knows.

Mattel : The problem with Daric Barton is:
He isn’t a good fielder.
I mean he is a good fielder, but he plays 1B which is not where a good fielder would play
Generating a win at 1B is not as valuable as generating a win at SS.
Well it is as valuable just not as impressive since 1B don’t have to field the ball.
I mean they do have to field the ball sometimes and sometimes they save a bad throw, but are not good at making throws
Which Barton is good at but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t swing the bat
Which is good if it’s bad pitch, but it’s bad when it’s a good pitch
And Barton does swing at the good pitches
But he walks to much
By that I mean is that is up there looking for a walk and not swinging at bad pitches
Which is good of course, but not when you don’t drive the good pitches.
He used to. But he hasn’t lately
He was hurt.
The problem with Daric Barton is that he is hurt. I can’t stand that guy!

Tutu-late : WE GOT THIS! Let’s go PARKER!
Billy Frijoles: hush you. Don't parade on our rain.

Ben Folds' Nuts: I don't always hit home runs. But when I do, I prefer to hit the living motherf*** out of them.
Stay Cespy, my friends.

justANotherAsFan: I've been to Fenway just twice. It's fun. It is an experience. Never went to the old Yankee Stadium, but I’m sure it would have had the same aura. The new? Nah.
stranahanahan: Screw that band box. It’s like going to the Louvre if they decided to tear it down and replace it with a bigger Louvre to make more money.

(Regarding A.J. Griffin)

coffee roaster: Good inning. Now he needs to lose the moustache. It makes him look like a cast member of CATS.

IowaA'sFan : GOOD JOB. I can put my autographed Chris Resop baseball down now.
Hey guys, did I mention I have an autographed Chris Resop baseball? Like, recently?
DDroney: "for your daughter"

Alex Hall: If that's not a sign that Oakland is going to win, then I don't know what is. Well, other than Oakland actually scoring a run. That would be a more powerful sign.


G-dammit Oakland! I, who have no geographical, historical, or logical connection to your city, have hung all of my emotional hopes and dreams on the success of your professional baseball team! For no good reason! So go get some outs and then score some g---damn runs, please!

humanoid7: slegnA announcer: "De la Rosa reminds me of former A's pitcher Tyson Ross" Two seconds later, Theth hits a 2 run single
sc00by: That would remind me of Tyson Ross too

Systematic: If Head makes it to the bigs...the A’s can market him as the 2nd coming of the Babe
Raised Eyebrows: i love the dude, but i admit i see why scouts are not so psyched about him. if i saw that dude on the street i would NOT think he was a professional athlete, that’s for sure…
Tutu-late: A David Wells type?
Raised Eyebrows: but shorter, and with a rounder head. he looks like a peanuts character, but adult sized.