- Giants owners are treating territorial rights over San Jose like they were bestowed to them at birth. The truth is, former A's owner Walter Haas gave the Giants ownership rights of Santa Clara County when it appeared that the team might move to Florida. He felt it was in the best interests of baseball (not his wallet) to have two teams in the Bay Area. Imagine that.
- The worship of Buster Posey
- Giants fans who kept asking me why I wasn't rooting for their team in the 2010 World Series. They said, "It's all Bay Area, brah!" No, no it's not. One of my best friends even said this. I told him that if the Rangers won the World Series, I wouldn't have to hear about it every day. It would be over in Texas.
- Brian Wilson's beard
- Aubrey Huff's thong
- Panda hats. Pablo Sandoval's nickname has sullied orange chicken for me.
- The Crazy Crab. I can't get behind a team with a VD for a mascot.
- Barry Bonds*
From Love Me, Hate Me:
One time, after suffering a mild injury in a game against Colorado, (Eric) Davis was lying on a training table when Bonds entered the room. "Hey Eric," Bonds said, "how many years you got in the major leagues?" Davis answered 16, to which Bonds snapped, "Yeah b—h, and you've been in here for like, six of them." Bonds continued. "So Eric, how many home runs do you have anyway?" Bonds knew the answer (280) but he enjoyed putting teammates in their place. Standing nearby, (Shawon) Dunston had heard enough. He walked over to Davis' locker and removed his 1990 World Series ring. "Hey f—t!" he yelled toward Bonds. "How many of these you got?" Davis cackled with delight.
If Bonds stopped to watch a home run, Dunston - a former Cardinals teammate of Mark McGwire - greeted him in the clubhouse with a pointed, "B—h, Mac woulda hit that ball 200 feet further." ... Upon returning from the weight room, Bonds would often find Dunston sprawled out in his (Bonds') recliner, flipping the channels on his personal television. "Get the f—k out of my chair!" Bonds would yell, prompting Dunston to pick up a bat and say, "One step closer and I take out the knees."