Open Game Thread - Game 117 - Moose Costco to the Rescue!

Sure they kicked the bejesus out of the A's last night. But that's when we had that scrub, Gio Gonzalez pitching. This (very early) morning, Oakland sends out Moose Costco to stem the Maple Leaf tide and win yet another series in yet another meaningless August. If you're here this morning, everybody, let no one question your fanhood.

Guillermo Moscoso, whose main asset in my estimation of things, is a very good name (both front and back), is 4-6 on the year, with a 3.69 ERA, both of which statheads tell me are useless, but there you are. On a good day, Moose Costco will give you seven. On a bad day, four and some change. He gives up the long ball on occasion and this hard-hitting Blue Jays team will probably take him deep at least once. But, you never know. It's get away day and the offenses of non-contending clubs (see: both teams playing here) tend to swing early, swing often.

Meanwhile,General manager Alex Anthopoulos, manager John Farrell and many Blue Jays players wonder what the accusation of them stealing signs is all aboot. Says Anthopoulos:

Ah, Jeez, we'd no more steal signs than come over to your house when you weren't home and drink the last of your LaBatts, eh? That's like takin' the last of the back bacon, you know, and we just wouldn't do that, eh?

So maybe they steal signs or maybe they don't (elcroata says the numbers don't back up the accusation), but they are a bunch of dead-eyed, floppy-headed Canadians and we must crush them.

Compliant Pig has been on a tear lately [or, as Copenhagen calls him, piggeh (o(oo)o)], hitting home runs in three straight games. And DeJesus forgot to hit his second one last night, so we should have a little pop this morning as well.

The Canadians, in usual tricksey fashion, send out some guy the A's have never even seen before. I'm not sure it's legal, but apparently, the commissioner hates us so much, he's allowing it. This floppy-head's name is Brad Mills. He's 1-1 this season with a 3.65 ERA, so it's clear that the Maple Leafs will win by .04 runs. Bastardos! Apparently, Brad is from Arizona. Why he has chosen to emigrate to the GWN is beyond me, but apparently, he hates America. Again, we must destroy him.

But then again, the A's come home after this game, and face CJ Wilson at the crappy, crappy Coliseum on Friday night. They need to save some energy, so they can destroy him. I cannot speak for you, but I will be booing that asshat loudly.

Get ready for some hot KK on Vince action as surely they won't let the A's be seen on television before noon, right? I mean, there is such a thing in this world called decency, and drinking to excess, and putting them on too early is a surefire way to unswallow your eggs and compliant pig.

Good morning, AN! As my father was fond of saying, if we had some bacon, we could have bacon and eggs, if we had any eggs. Frittatas all around.

Lineups from Susan Slusser/Jane Lee:

A's

1. S Sizemore, 3b
2. C Pennington, SS
3. H Matsui, DH
4. J Willingham, LF
5. C Jackson, 1b
6. D DeJesus, RF
7. K Suzuki, C
8. R Sweeney, CF
9. A Rosales, 2b

Flappy-Heads: