Can you please explain to me the dream I had last night? I know I should be able to be able to do dream analysis, what with my being a counselor and all, but I never quite understood Freudian theory. Freud said every young boy, growing up, had a secret desire to sleep with his mother. To me, that's just ridiculous: I never even met Freud's mother.
Anyway, back to the dream I had last night. I am not making any of this up. I really did have this exact dream. And you tell me why Vince Cotroneo was in it. Please jump (after last night, I'm seriously considering it)...
In the dream I'm at spring training, where I believe I am preparing for a broadcast (so that's only 20 years off). Vince Cotroneo tells me, "Before the game, we have to go up to such-and-such place," which is rather far away but he says that their Hallowe'en/trick-or-treat set up is so amazing I have to see it.
How Hallowe'en and spring training are occurring at the same time is one of those things you fail to question only in a dream. I do what any sensible dream-impaired person would do: I hop in the car and let Vince head us up Highway Whatever-it-is towards this incredible place I clearly have to choose over writing down the starting lineups.
So we get there and it doesn't look like much from the outside -- your basic building at the end of a parking lot. We go in and find ourselves in what looks to be an ordinary study leading to an ordinary bedroom. A couple people, maybe a mom and son, are standing outside this mundane room holding a bag of candy and when I approach they seem irritated that an adult, one without a costume no less, is there to get candy. I'm a bit embarrassed and confused myself.
Not knowing what I'm supposed to do or say, I reach for a Kit Kat from the bag, see the disapproving faces of the mom and son and say, "I'm going to give it to a child." I then weaken my story by breaking off a piece of the Kit Kat and eating it.
And that's the dream. Seriously, what was that? Please explain.
In other news, how sad is it to have to select "A football coach raping young boys while a legendary head coach looks the other way" or "A major league catcher is kidnapped" as only the second most troubling story in the sports section that day? Could we please spread out our monstrosities a bit more, kthxbai? (Ironically, "Could you please spread out your monstrosities?" is practically an exact quote from Jerry Sandusky. OK, I should stop before I say something inappropriate.)
So yes, Vinnie, you schlepping me to the outskirts of the outskirts of Phoenix, to help me make an ass of myself in front of an ordinary family having a dull Hallowe'en, presumably in March, was only the third most troubling news of the day yesterday. Unfortunately, that had to be the only one that didn't really happen.
In other news, the A's have made some minor league coaching changes, with Ariel Prieto back in single-A ball!