In a winner-take-all slug fest, we have the unstoppable force of Doug Fister pitching for the Tigers.
Perhaps you didn't hear me. I said Doug. Fister.
If anything makes an Adonis like Derek Jeter quake in his boots, it's Doug Fister.
Of course, nothing does. The Yankees are all but guaranteed a win here. Detroit, like countless teams before them, had their chance in game four, but the Yankees will not fail here, in a pivotal series-ending game. They are not unlike Jason from the Friday the 13th movies. Teams start celebrating at the temporary fallen head of the seemingly defeated monster because the monster looks dead. It is lying there, not moving, and this is the time to rejoice.
NO! BAD KITTIES! NO! [whaps Motor City Felines across snout with rolled up newspaper]
Cut. The. Head. Off.
Make sure they're dead. Follow them into the clubhouse. Help ARod pack up his stuff for the season.
Instead, Detroit's about to get a machete through their collective midsection, while looking at us all hopeful n...stuff.
I dislike the Yankees. As epic as the collapse of the Red Sox was, and as happy as I was watching their reversal of fortune at Joe's, with Chickie n the boys, it would give me more satisfaction to watch the Yankees die tonight.
But. That ain't gonna happen. And we'll have to choose between rooting for the Yankees or rooting for the Rangers. It's getting so I hate the post-season.
Yankees have some rookie named Ivan Nova, who went 16-4 for them this season! I'm fairly certain I could tear my labrum and still win ten games with that kind of run support. Bastards.
There's this: Too-Much-Moneyball
And this: Jeff haz a funny.
Lineups (not from Susan, but I love her and they steal from her, so eff em) from Susan Slusser:
And, according to Susan above, game starts at 8:07pm, EST, which means 5:07pm for us. Strange how she would put the time in EST...that wacky Slusser!