Ah, the playoffs. While I might not share baseballgirl’s volcanic lust for this time of year, we could do a whole lot worse than a few more weeks of baseball. Even the A’s-less kind.
If the regular season is the school year, then the playoffs are prom, with the eight prettiest girls in the class vying for the right to wear that funny-looking thing on their head for the next twelve months.
Like most popularity contests, it is a flawed system. Take last year for example. How on earth did she win?
Once upon a time there was a young lady from Oakland. She was a nerd behind the computer that no one paid any mind to, except to poke fun at her shoes and her run-down surroundings. But year after year her invite to the pageant would show up in the mail.
Apparently as a cruel joke.
The uppity East Coast girls who pretended to be her friend and let her sit at the cool table were just using her to do their homework. And she was more than happy to oblige. After a while, they simply stopped inviting her. She never understood why.
What worked for Disney never worked in Oakland. The clock always struck midnight. The slipper never fit. Prince Charming slept with the ugly step-sisters. And just when our innocent one felt as if she belonged, they’d send her bawling from the Ball: "Back to the dungeon with those singing mice!"
I hate singing mice.
There’s your recent A’s history, with a twist. You’re a loser, Dad. You’re a loser, Dad. You’re such a loser, Dad…
I, for one, wouldn’t mind some fresh faces at this dance. In the American League, all four teams have been to the World Series as recently as 2006 (although only the Yankees- surprise!- emerged victorious), while three of this year’s National League finalists have been crowned World Champions within the last ten years.
Today’s slate calls for a double dip, junior circuit-style: the Texas Rangers at the Tampa Bay Rays (2:07PM), and the New York Yankees at the Detroit Tigers (5:37PM). Both times PST. You’re giddy, I can tell.
May the best home teams win.
