The Rich Get Richer: Listless and Pathetic A's "Bats" Make Harden Look Like Bob Gibson as Texas Cruises, 4-2

I tried to consult the Press Guide the A's provide about their offensive attack, but this was all I could find.

The sequel to Moneyball just came out, have you read it?  It's all about the Athletics' vaunted offensive performance.... a must read, indeed.

There really isn't much to say about what just took place, only that this is 3 hours (4 if you count the pregame thread) of our lives that we'll all never get back.  I'd tell you that Rich Harden didn't walk a batter in his 7 IP, even though he was averaging a walk an inning coming in and was displaying the command of a full gaggle of geese on angel dust previously.  I'd tell you that the A's only once (OK, twice, yawn) got the tying run to the plate in 9 innings of alleged baseball here tonight.  I'd tell you that the A's didn't even sniff a hit until Raj Davis doubled in the 6th, but so what?  He died there like withered grapes on the vine.  I'd tell you that if baseball acuity were cotton candy, Eric Patterson would have all of his teeth for his entire life, without so much as the piece of dental floss he apparently uses for a glove in sight.  I'd write one of those "thoughts" posts where it's all lower case ranting about all of this but mikev is already sick and we don't wanna make the guy have to miss work tomorrow, do we?

The A's would have got more hits tonight, had they not been.

I search my head for reasons why or what happened to furnish such a lifeless result, but I come up as empty as the stands at the Coliseum were tonight... what is there to say?  The Rangers nibbled a few runs off of Dallas Braden, who (7 IP, 3 ER, 11 H) probably pitched good enough to win but again was afforded literally the very least run support a pitcher can receive (aka: none), so what was the point?  This new guy the Rangers are big on Justin Smoak pasted a bomb in the 8th that went basically to the BART bridge, which was empty anyway save the dude with the tenor sax that plays "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," so no one noticed save the other guy... the one selling $5 hats to no one in particular.  The Capitol Corridor train moans desolately, and somewhere maybe Hank Williams hears that Lonesome Whistle Blow.

Lonely is the night, indeed.

Well, that's all I got, unless you want lots of misguided anger and wretched, impotent raving about how this team is about as exciting as watching paint dry to the power of cars rusting.  Sure, Kouz hit one out off Frankie "The Chair" Francisco in the 9th when the result was all but written.  Sure the A's teased us all like the baseball version of Van Halen's Hot for Teacher video in the 9th there, bringing the tying run up with no one out.  Sure, the Rangers had to dig into their questionable bullpen late to get the W.  Sure there were glimmers of something resembling Hope there at the end, but in the final analysis this teA'se garbage is just so 2009, isn't it?  Truth is this team was just not there for 8 innings tonight and should have to refund the 143 people who were there out of their own pockets IMO.

In lieu of living for today, searching for tomorrow seems strangely appealing in this moment.

Hang in there fellow denizANs of Oaktopia, we will try again in approximately 21 hours from now as these same two clubs scrum for the plum.... please join danmerqury for another Tuesday Night Heavy Metal Extravaganza... hopefully the A's will register on the thermometer a little hotter than they did tonight.  See you there and I am out!