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Notes On Braden's Ceremony From Section 205

Yes, I co-chaperoned 10 middle school students to the game last night in the hopes of snaring a foul ball, but surprisingly no one on either of these power-laden teams could hook a foul ball just right of the foul pole into the upper deck. Some stray thought about the pre-game ceremony honoring Dallas Braden, Grandma Lindsay, and Landon Powell and the subsequent game...

The ceremony made me go "Awww" a little and laugh a lot. These ceremonies are so overdone!

It started with Ken Korach reading from a script that was about 72 times beneath his IQ: "...On May 9th, Dallas Braden pitched a perfect game...27 up, 27 runs, or hits, or walks." We get it, Ken, thanks. Most of us either already know exactly what a perfect game is, or we care so little that we're ignoring you and adjusting our Panda costumes and wondering which concession stand has the sushi.

Then Landon Powell was presented with his catcher's glove. The message here? "Hey Landon, here's your glove, which apparently you haven't had for the last 2 weeks. Oh, and by the way you're fired." You see Powell had been sent down to Sacramento before the game. Apparently he got a bad performance review this week for catching pitches with his bare hands.

Then Dallas Braden was presented with home plate, because really who doesn't need one of those? They make terrific coasters, bookends, and they keep Eric Byrnes' away 25% better than the leading bug repellent. And let's be honest: Could Braden have thrown a perfect game had a different home plate been nailed into the ground on that fateful day?

Watching Peggy Lindsay throw out the first pitch, to her grandson Braden, was "Awww" worthy. She fired a one-hop strike which, from Section 205, looked about the same as a Cahill spike curve spotted on the outside corner. Yet I could still tell she had slightly better stuff than Cedrick Bowers.

Then Zito pitched a "not perfect game" ("It wasn't 27 up, 27 down...there were hits, and runs, and walks...") and we all rejoiced (except for half my kids, who were rooting for the Giants, but that's really their problem). I can't say too much about Cahill, or anything else, because truthfully if you want to see the game you need to get down from Section 205 and find a TV.

It was cold. It was hard to tell a bloop to 2B from a drive into the right-center field alley. It was fun.

{UPDATE, 10:23am: Eric Chavez to the DL with a "bulging disk in his neck," Mark Ellis activated off the DL}