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Open Thread - ST Game #13 - A's @ Communists of Southwest Ohio @ Phoenix, AZ @ 1:05 PM

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If Epic Baseball Facial Hair was protection against injury, I'd have a shot at 300 ABs.

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Admit it: if your dad had one of these with your actual name on it, you'd think twice about misbehaving.

Sunday evening I got on the BART at Lake Merritt after a stupendous meal at the Fortuna Buffet (8th & B'way in Downtown Oakland, super sushi & sashimi spread) to go to Berkeley (Amoeba run, where this was acquired) and someone left a dog-eared Chronicle Sunday Sports section, so I started reading the article about Eric Chavez and his new line of custom bats a lot of our lads are using this Spring... it looks as though if he can get his at-bats to match the quality of his bats, we could be looking at the AL Comeback Beard of the Year.  This, if (picture that if as eight-hundred-and-seventy-two point type) he can stay on the field longer than Side Four of Tales From Topographic Oceans by Yes.  Don't bother to look it up: it's 21 minutes, 37 seconds and it isn't even close to their best work.  Well, that side's OK but the rest just blows.

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AN's own Nico takes a break from Spring Training to jam with prog legends YES at their Scottsdale, AZ  "Whisperin' Tumbleweeds" retirement home gig

Wow, Cahill (4 IP, 0 ER, 1 BB, 2 SO) looked sorta dazzling yesterday, eh?  Creeping up on Gio for that #5 spot, hmmmm... the clot thickens, indeed.  Vin Mazzaro (3.1 IP, 3 ER)?  Not so much; he looks Sacto-bound to start the season. But I think the big story of the Spring, in addition to the idea that no MedEvac helicopters have yet had to be summoned for Chavez, has got to be Daric Barton, one of Eric's bat customers apparently. You'd think, with these two in prime competition for time at first base, that Chavy would be selling him bats made of polenta and balsa chips, but this is not the case and DB is turning it up deafeningly LOUD with the stick so far... 8-for-18 and good for a googly-eyes-inducing .444 clip for the (merely) 24-year-old, who (according to the voices in my head and no one else) has recently given up plans to try out for the 2012 US Olympic Diving Team to focus on baseball full-time.

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Emboldened by Coco Crisp's slow progress back from injury, A's non-roster invitee Count Chocula looks to seize on a backup OF spot.

I've been trying to figure out exactly what is going on with Crisp... is he expected back soon or is the hammy still clammy?  If updated injury progress reports and forthright public assessments of disabled personnel were drugs, the Athletics would be Clean & Sober, that's for sure.   Just weeks ago, the Mets were saying Jay Marshall (whom they claimed off waivers in January) was broken.... luckily they didn't try to bring him back and exchange him for Joey Devine or something.  Oh, wait, Joey has tendinitis!  Sorry Mets, you'll just have to take a rain check... or perhaps we could interest you in Fautino (ten million runs in 2 IP) De Los Santos?  The missing "s" is for savings!

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Reds OF Jay Bruce contemplates Alberta VO5's effectiveness against split ends.

Today's contest vs. the Redlegs (with the Athletics going for 4 straight wins!) probably won't be on KTRB, because that would mean they would have to pre-empt the guy who taunts Alex Smith and the 49ers like a schoolyard bully at recess, all in a tone of voice that makes Gilbert Gottfried sound like Nina Simone, so we A's fans are mostly on our own unless some miraculous broadcasting equivalent of the Shroud of Turin appears and I see Vince Cotroneo materialize in my morning bialy.  I'll do my best to get my sorry ass out of bed to fetch the lineups from MLB, or the cat's water dish, or the patterns of ripples that form when I toss baseballs into the bathtub, or wherever they might somehow be posted these days, so look for that around 1 pm (if anyone sees them before this and puts them in the comments, I thank you in advance *hugs*)... then I have to go pay my phone bill, but I'll be back just as soon as I do that and grab some lunch from Cam Huong (Webster between 9th and 10th Sts. in Oakland, stellar and inexpensive Vietnamese eats), so talk tons o'shite about the game or whatever jumps to mind and I'll be back soon with Spring Rolls for everyone =)~

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