I have a lot to say today. I apologize that none of it happens to be about baseball.
So it turns out that if you shop at a supermarket, pay cash, and ask, "Can I get 'credit back'?" they look at you like you're insane.
But what I really want to talk to you about is today's starting pitcher, Doug Fister. How many times was this poor chap sent to detention, in middle school, just trying to sign up for something? "I see I.P. Freely and Doug Fister have signed up for band again. Very funny, children." And you know that whatever his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather actually did for a living, there just can't be a whole lot of family pride. Although my mom knew a podiatrist named Dr. I. Ball and a pediatrician named Dr. Cock, so who really knows?
The point is, Fister is pitching against the A's today against Gio Gonzalez, with the A's trying to earn a split in the 4-game series and the Mariners trying to hang onto wild card hopes that are slimmer than a Jerry Blevins "bobble foul pole." (How cool would that be, by the way?) The starting lineups, sans Suzuki and sans Cust:
