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A's Make Blockbuster Deal For Journeyman I've Never Heard Of

If you gaze at the wall in Billy Beane's office, you'll see the list he looks at daily to remind himself of the important credos that govern his actions:

1. Never let 'em see you sweat
2. Good pitching beats good hitting
3. You can never have too many bad players named Patterson

Look for that list when they pan the room in "Moneyball: The Movie."

When I saw that the A's had acquired Scott Patterson from the Padres, in exchange for cash considerations, my first thought was, "Isn't he in jail?" But apparently I had him mixed up with someone, and this is a 30 year old who pitches baseballs. Given the high correlation between "people named Patterson" and "outs," this could be exciting. We're back in this thing, baby!

What are "cash considerations" anyway? Is that like, "Maybe we'll send you money"? Frankly, if I'm the Padres I want more of a commitment than that but hey -- maybe Scott Patterson isn't worth actual money, just the idea of money. Anyway, here's what I know about Scott Patterson:

* He must be very, very small because all the teams overlooked him in the draft. Every single one. Actually, he's 6'6" so perhaps teams were just so certain he'd go into the NBA draft that they were scared away.

* He throws right-handed. Not especially accurately, mind you, if his 6 BBs in 4.2 career big league innings are any indication. But right-handers are awesome, so much so that if a lefty isn't available a righty is going to be my second choice every time.

* He will save this franchise. Guaranteed. I just have a feeling about this, kind of like when pet rocks were all the rage and I thought "this is one fad that will last."

Let the Scott Patterson era begin!!!!!!