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Erik With A "K"

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Had the A’s recently won 9 in a row, you could view this game like it really was: simply a dominant performance by an opposing pitcher who would have beaten anyone tonight. Instead, tonight’s 3-hit, 13K outapalooza just reinforced that these days the A’s are lowly peasants living under the Futile system.

Against mediocre pitchers, and certainly against Erik Bedard, right now the A’s look more helpless than a frantic puppy thrashing around in Jennifer’s famous marinara sauce (it’s a nice image, and I want you to have it all night as you try to sleep). Meanwhile, tonight the A’s also didn’t so much field as play soccer (“Stewart to Swisher…goooooooooooooooal!!!”), and the pitching was bad enough for there to be a—hide the children—Kennedy sighting, which may, these days, be the only thing more gruesome to watch than seeing Swisher squish himself into a cardboard cutout against the CF wall. Though watching Suzuki block pitches in the dirt…

At least the A’s had a reasonable excuse tonight, as Bedard leads the league in strikeouts and hasn’t allowed a run in 3 starts. Tomorrow, the A’s get a journeyman who has been on the Disabled List with a strained ass. “For it’s glute, glute, glute for the home team…” Yes, it’s true; I’ve gone completely insane. It’s the only thing that’s keeping me sane right now.