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What Can You Say?

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I don't know about anyone else, but I'm extremely worried about Bob Geren.

See, Geren has a post-game press conference to prepare for, but nearly every single one of the pertinent cliches are on the DL or are unavailable/day-to-day.

"You can't win every single game"? Unresponsive to treatment. Day-to-day.

"The season is a marathon, not a sprint"? Strained metaphor. Out for 2 weeks.

"[Starting pitcher who surrendered a ton of runs] just didn't have his best stuff today"? Lame excuse muscle. Not expected to miss next start.

"[Opposing team] didn't really hit a lot of balls hard, except for [the balls they did hit hard]. They just found some holes"? Diagnosed by team doctors with a crumbled cookie; cliche seeking a second opinion with linguists in LA, who are expected to diagnose spilt milk. Status pending diagnosis.

"Well, if we'd just had a couple more fall in, we would have been close there at the end"? Pulled leg. Not serious.

"Once we get healthy ..."? Dead horse, repeatedly beaten.

"We'll just have to come out tomorrow and start a new game/We can still leave town winning the series"? Rose-colored double-vision.

So, keep a close eye on Geren in his post-game comments. He may have to resort to inapposite metaphors, nonsequiturs, unproven aphorisms, or gibbering nonsense. Word on the street is that Beane is working the phones, trying to pick up some hoary replacement-level AAA bromides for Geren to deploy tomorrow afternoon ("A stitch in time saves nine," "Whistle while you work," "Never piss into the wind," etc.).