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How Convenient

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How fortunate that this week, George Mitchell, searching behind the cushions of his couch just trying to find his reading glasses, stumbled upon that key missing piece of evidence that could finally turn the Barry Bonds case from years of nothing into an indictment.

In the late 1990s and early 2000s, while Mark McGwire, and then Barry Bonds, were capturing headlines and creating revenue for Major League Baseball with record setting homeruns, Bud Selig heard words like “steroids” and “rampant in baseball,” saw 40-HR hitters belting 60-73 HRs, put his fingers in his ears and said, “LA LA LA LA LA – I can’t hear you! LA LA LA LA LA!”

More recently, while Barry Bonds was capturing headlines and creating revenue for Major League Baseball by chasing Hank Aaron’s career HR record, an ongoing perjury / obstruction of justice investigation seemed to have all the power of Jason Kendall and all the legs of Bengie Molina. MLB appeared to have no case or why would they sit on it as days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years, and years turned into…more revenue for Major League Baseball. Until suddenly…”Oh wait, we just got the case to come together! Just now!”

Now that Bonds’ window of utility to Major League Baseball has closed. Now he’s just an old cash cow who no longer gives milk. So now it’s time for MLB to care about steroid use that was evident and lucrative 6 years ago, and lies that if told, were certainly not told recently, and to do what? To pocket the billions of dollars the cow provided you and then slaughter the cow? Bad cow! {deposits more milk} Bad, bad cow! {confines cow in crate for 10-30 years} Very bad cow! {eats cow} That’ll teach you, cow! {washes meal down with a glass of milk}

Not a good cow, for sure, but is anybody going to indict the farmers?