Dear Mr. Thomas,
Thank you for choosing the team with the white shoes. Thank you for listening to Billy Beane's pitch as to why the Oakland Athletics were the right team for you at the right time in your career. Thank you for believing in this team's postseason chances and viewing it as a team on the rise.
Thank you for continuing to carry the Athletics offense post-ASB 2006 and making A's fans feel comfortable that someone will continue to drive in runs, no matter what. Thank you for the soaring, majestic home runs that haven't really been seen around these parts since the days of the Genetically-Altered via Testosterone, ahem, Bash Brothers.
Also, a big thank you to your legs, ankles and heels for holding up throughout the majority of this season. Without their brave sacrifice every day continuing to carry your 6'6" 270 pound frame, we wouldn't have seen 36 beautiful arcs out of the ballpark. We wouldn't have had two new A's franchise records...six home runs in six straight games and 36 home runs by a DH.
I also want to thank Terry Ryan for deciding that Rondell White was a better choice for his team than Frank Thomas. It also proves that in an age of the DH, the need for leather can sometimes be overrated.
I want to thank the opposing pitchers who continue to repeatedly pitch to the Big Hurt even though at times it appears like he's the only bat on the A's that will hurt you on a consistent basis. And walking Frank Thomas could serve to hurt the A's rather than help them considering Frank's tendency to literally go station to station and the fact that making Thomas run could potentially reaggravate old injuries.
Finally, thanks to Billy Beane for gambling on Frank's success. You did great on this one and I'm only hoping Beane can keep Big Hurt around a couple more years to hopefully see number 500 fly out of the Coliseum. And possibly get a World Series ring in the process; one that he is an active contributor and one he can shove down Ozzie Guillen's obnoxiously fat throat.