Best AN quotes of April...

Do we all need some FUN, or what?!


But seriously, who thought it was a good idea to name them the K-Krew when two of them are dominant groundball types?  Couldn't they have been the "Pepsi Rolls Another One to Shortstop/Second Base, Except for When Zito Makes a Left-Handed Hitter Contemplate Retirement With a Nasty Curveball Crew"???

I think it's got a marketing ring to it.

In response to the `beautiful Colon figurine' giveaway advertised by the Angels.

An odd choice...why pick the player that's easily going to cost you the most in materials?

In response to a particularly negative comment by another user, OaktownPower says: "My god...we get what the f--- you think about the team....The horse is freaking dead."

The cows in the next field are dead. The chickens in the coop are dead.

The mule is missing.


Now my gameday audio is malfunctioning! It said that Kendall threw someone out!

Oh wait, now it's working. It says that Crosby's hurt.


almost reggie
responding to a question about what kind of seats were in the Coliseum bleachers

Actual Uncomfortable Seats.

With just enough curvature to hold a puddle of water big enough to make it appear you had bladder failure.

Bring a cushion and a roll of Bounty.


Duck! Fan throws syringe at Bonds. It is important to remember two things:
A) It is always, always inappropriate and atrocious to throw something at a player.
B) ...Don't miss, dumb*ss.

in response to Zonis's: "NO! NO! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! DON'T JINX!"

 SF Chron tomorrow:

"The game was tied until an obscure poster at an Athletics online fan forum posted a picture of fireworks, thus affecting the game with his small laptop keyboard."

Yeah, right.

in response to theblackpearl's "Each team has to supply their own catcher, that's how we used to play when I was growing up.

That'd be sweet!
Think of how many bases we'd steal off of Kendall!

We'd lead the league!

I mean...oh, wait.


Ice Cream
in response to monkeyball's: "I think there's a 12-step program for that--Cyberpaleoichthyophiles Anonymous"

"Hello, my name is Ice Cream... and I'm a cyber...uh...cyber...uh...crap!...a cyberpaleoich...Oh, f*** it. I love robotic prehistoric fish."

peanut gallery
Regarding Joe Morgan's refusal to read Moneyball

Given his stated main interest...
Maybe someone should make Moneyball into a movie -- a science fiction movie. It could be called Moneyrobot. In it, our hero Billy Legume (Joe won't catch that) takes his army of robots to battle an army of evil robots from the planet Yankeetron 5. But poor Billy only has a quarter the spare robot parts that Emperor Steinborg has to create his army. So he has to create his robots from old refrigerator parts, which are of course an undervalued resource in the distant future.  
He might actually be tricked into getting it.

Some of us wander off to opposing blogs to make ourselves feel better, or to poke lions with a stick.

Jeff from Lookout Landing:
"Marco Scutaro is like a little plush puppy. What he's doing beating the crap out of the ball is beyond me."

Some of us got crazy with the comments:

Some of us love our new additions, especially for the name recognition value.

Alright Milton.... now all ya gotta do is pass home plate and collect the run...

in response to Larry E's: "How come no journalist has asked him [Milton Bradley] what happened?"

Sample question:

"What do you think Jeff Kent would have thought of your baserunning tonight?"

And some of us still love the old ones:

You stand tall you hot little piece of Venezuelan man candy!

in response to athleticsgirl24's "Well I just didn't sacrifice enough virgins
I didn't appease the Gods enough I guess...<throws another virgin on the fire>

Noooo! Not Huston!

After Defensive Indifference is called...

Doesn't playing Kendall....constitute defensive indifference?


DJ gets a Hattyhit. AKA, a walk.
Good to see him getting on base.

after Swisher strikes out four times

I should add him to my fantasy team.
As a pitcher!

In response to Lostprophets: "On the MLBTV feed the Rangers announcers were joking that the HBP was Kendall's only way to get on base."

They were not joking

suggested Huston theme [song]
"I'm Bringing Home A Baby Bumblebee" mashed up with some ninja fight music.  Except that if you hear Huston coming, it'll be the last sound you hear.

Don't MAKE me turn this game right around and drive it right back home to Arizona!

And Blez takes his own share of the ribbing:

in response to grover's: Dammit Blez!!! Why do you keep setting AN Day during the middle of Summer?!

um... They play baseball then?

So does Billy:

During the A's loss to the Yankees

How many chairs have lost their lives tonight at the hands of Billy Beane?

Some of us make up words using player's names:

misfit toy  
Damn... I just Bobby Crosby'd my finger dancing around my living room....

It makes it too easy for a mediocre lefty like ricarJoe rinKennedy to get through an inning.

estabarry loizito

Or using their pitches:

in response to Mission1929's "But Maybe Zito... knows how to throw a "rain ball."  No spit needed."

 "Mr. Drippy"

But the important thing to remember, that is baseball is FUN, FUN I TELL YOU!!!!

<has ANOTHER heart attack, and it's only April!>