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Late Night Open Thread

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I figured you kids enjoyed last night's late night thread so much, I'd open one more for your bonding pleasure.

I'm not feeling well, so I'm heading off to bed, but enjoy the thread.

Since it's a late night open thread, here are the Top 10 reasons the A's will win the West:

  1. Darin Erstad will suddenly quit baseball to go on Extreme Makeover after he realizes that he was born with no lips.
  2. Vlad shaved his Coolio-looking goatee. You don't diss someone living in a Gangsta's Paradise and expect good karma to continue.
  3. Mike Scioscia will jump out of the dugout to complain even when a call goes in the Angels favor. The guy has gotten so used to complaining that he doesn't even know why anymore and he gets a call reversed for the opposing team.
  4. Chone Figgins will enter counseling after finally failing to block out the routine teasing he received as a child, given that his first name means underwear in Spanish.
  5. A worldwide shortage of plastic leaves goggle manufacturers with no ability to supply the Angels pitching staff with their necessary tools to perform. The Angels make like the Miami Dolphins and weep their way off the field.
  6. Bartolo Colon will be called away by Dreamworks Pictures to start filming Shrek 3.
  7. The Flying Molina Brothers decide to switch careers and take their shot at joining the circus as trapeze artists.
  8. At a key point in some game in the future, one of the annoying beach balls that are everpresent at Angels games will collide with a ball in play, keeping the Angels from scoring a winning run.
  9. Steve Physioc and Rex Hudler can't contain their excitement for the "A Team" any more and run onto the field, Morganna-style, to plant a big smooch on Steve Finley as he's about to score the winning run.
And the number on reason the A's will win the West:

1. John "Slingblade" Lackey splits Garret Anderson's head in two with a lawnmower blade, calls 911, then sits down at the clubhouse table and has a biscuit with mustard.