Best AN quotes of June...

First of all, I'd like to give a shoutout to last night's game thread, which was, without a doubt, the best game thread I have ever been a part of, including the "AN Afterhours Edition" thread as we were all trying to recover from the game.

So, here we are with our third installment of the Best Quotes. Because I am going to be a complete diary whore today, since I have this one and the new Ratto response to post (he uses Slusser as back-up...stay tuned), I thought I would just add a quick line about a ticket to Saturday's game. I have a seat in Section 109, row 17 that is not being used that I would really like to be used. It's $35 (I don't care about adding shipping/handling fee), and best of all, it's next to ME and MELODY! Anyone else in? Just drop me an email at

So here we are, vote for your favorite!

In response to atomopawn's: "It's fun to win but it's only the Mariners.  We seem to be a pretty average team this year, beating up on lousy teams and getting beat up ourselves by the cream of the crop teams in the other divisions."

Not completely true.
Mariners have been every bit as hot as the A's. The Braves, Phillies, Mets, and even Blue Jays would probably object to being called "lousy". (Well, I guess any team would object to that, but those guys have a case)

Not surprisingly...
"ha-RIK-a-la" is the sound my cat makes when it's coughing up a hairball, and sadly, they come up with more velocity and movement than Harikkala's pitches.

In response to the diary titled, "Worst Baseball Movie Ever"

Worst Baseball Movie Ever?
SCHINDLER'S LIST, by a country mile. Very little actual on-field baseball action, and Liam Neeson obviously has never swung a bat in his life.

After Zito strikes out:

What do the troops get for that one?

My (almost) 6 year old son really is a Giants fan.  That said, we are each going to a game tonight.  Me, the A's game.  Him, the Giants game.  (For what it's worth, my wife will be going to the J.T. Snow game, and the 2 and 4 year old sister and brother will be going to the cotton candy vendor and left field slides, respectively.)

MISSING: Command
If found, please return to Oakland Coliseum to Joe Blanton

The title of this thread is about Nationality, yet you have no "nations" listed in the poll.  More like "geographical disbursement by general big ass region."

In response to BillybUcko: "Not that I want to blame Kotsay for anything, but his name came up in each of the Nats' scoring plays."

True enough, but...
It's one thing to put the ball in play and rely on your fielders.  It's another to put the ball in play as if fired from a grenade launcher and rely on your fielders.

You're right... what should I expect from someone named GiantsDominateTheBay... the only thing the Giants dominate is Social Security pensions and the team health insurance policies

Kendall takes first pitch.
Pope also catholic.

And even the players get into the act this month, at the expense of Nick Swisher:

First baseman Scott Hatteberg was less than surprised to hear that Swisher, an outgoing rookie, was among the first in line to try the latest in visual enhancement. "Of course he was; they're accessories," Hatteberg said, rolling his eyes. "That guy accessorizes more than my wife."

Jermaine Clark
In response to Tim Roye's comment: "The Rivercats are giving out Nick Swisher wobblers next weekend"

"Oh, did they make it so it talks all the time and you can't get it to shut up?"

Here's more:

Best AN suggestion:  New site design? Maybe Blez should redesign the AN layout so it looks a whole lot more technical and business-like with red herring charts and graphs. If anybody is caught "cyberslacking" at work they can pass an AN gameday thread as a serious technical/financial review paper. OaktownTribesman

Best use of the dictionary while looking up `assuage':  After assiduously assessing an assortment of dictionaries (with some assistance from an associate), I would assert that your claim is incorrect. mdl

Best trade idea: Papa for Greenwald...and a camera operator to be named later pachydermOAFC

Best look inside our GM's mind:  If I were Billy, I'd look at the Kotsay situation and think "Boston. I could be in Boston. Now maybe if I offered Mark a three year Boston. And I'd have a World Series trophy. Extension for maybe eight million and I could pay WHATEVER I NEEDED TO I guess I have to talk to Lew and I'd have Manny Ramirez in left field instead of Byrnes. Okay let's say I have to trade him. What have the Cubs got BOSTON BOSTON BOSTON." - matthias  

Best park nickname:  San Francisco's "ding-a-ling" park - BornInOakland

Best making fun of other managers:  As an ex-Phillies fan... I'd welcome just about any trade BB wants to make with Ed "7 Years, New Ballpark, Huge Payroll Explosion, No Playoffs" Wade. It's like sitting down to a night of no-limit Texas Hold 'Em with the kids from the short bus. - DMtShooter

Best use of sarcasm, as the A's are facing John Smoltz:  I'm tired of our lineup making the other pitcher look like a Cy Young winner... Never mind. - orange2299

Best use of "Goodness Gracious":  Oh Goodness Gracious! Kielty, when we said sacrifice, we didn't mean 2 outs! - Alien

Best use of team resources: We need a double play. Can we send one of our guys up to bat? - gigglingone

I think the funniest person as a whole this month had to be monkeyball. More comments for your enjoyment:

-    Maybe we could post Durazo on Craig's list
-    (after McFood's `hairball' quote) Equally not surprisingly, the sound my cats make when barfing up hairballs is "MACHHHHH-uh-MACHHHH-uh-MACHHHH-uh"
-    the Harillaka release - enough said.
-    (Female names that sound like A's players)  Kennetta Macha, Marcy Scutaro, Roberta Kielty...ok, I just realized, if there's one A I don't want to see in drag, it's Booby Kielty

And  finally, what would a diary be without a little humor from our second-in-command:


You know it's going bad, when...

  1. Kendall hits a tailor-made 6-4-3 DP ball by carefully surveying it off a 6'8" guy's foot.
  2. Hatteberg notices his glove is broken just AFTER a grounder is hit to him.
  3. Kendall frantically looks left, then frantically looks right, then frantically looks behind him, and then Duke picks the baseball up off of home plate.
  4. We have a 7-game losing streak and it's not even the longest one of the MONTH.
  5. Your hope that this losing streak isn't longer than the last one depends on Etherton and Blanton.
In response to melody: "Is anyone else seeing golf... they really are showing golf during the rain delay?"
Listening to Hank on the radio just FEELS like watching golf on TV.

Best evaluation of the offense, after the A's got a leadoff double in the first, a leadoff single in the second, and leadoff triple in the third: To suck for the cycle, all we need is to hit a leadoff homerun and not score.