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Does Anyone Here Speak Rattoese?

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I've read this column three or four times. And I still have no idea what it says. I passed it to Mrs. Blez and she doesn't understand it either.

I even had some family who was visiting this weekend read it. And apparently, no one I know speaks Rattoese. It's a strange and mystical language.

So I'm opening it up to ANers to explain what in God's name Ray Ratto was trying to say with this column. Obviously, Ratto's bottom line is that John Fisher, Lewis Wolff and Billy Beane are trying to make nice with San Jose to pave the way for a move to the South Bay for the Athletics.

I guess all writers are guilty of doing this, but sometimes in an effort to be cute, you lose something along the way. I kept picturing Ratto as Kevin Spacey's classic character Buddy in Swimming with Sharks: And now try to follow me, because I'm gonna be moving in a kind of circular motion, so if you pay attention, there will be a point!

Any way, Billy Beane was right. I need to stop reading these things. They just make my head hurt.