What Can You Say?

by monkeyball on May 26, 2007 7:54 PM PDT in News

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm extremely worried about Bob Geren.

See, Geren has a post-game press conference to prepare for, but nearly every single one of the pertinent cliches are on the DL or are unavailable/day-to-day.

"You can't win every single game"? Unresponsive to treatment. Day-to-day.

"The season is a marathon, not a sprint"? Strained metaphor. Out for 2 weeks.

"[Starting pitcher who surrendered a ton of runs] just didn't have his best stuff today"? Lame excuse muscle. Not expected to miss next start.

"[Opposing team] didn't really hit a lot of balls hard, except for [the balls they did hit hard]. They just found some holes"? Diagnosed by team doctors with a crumbled cookie; cliche seeking a second opinion with linguists in LA, who are expected to diagnose spilt milk. Status pending diagnosis.

"Well, if we'd just had a couple more fall in, we would have been close there at the end"? Pulled leg. Not serious.

"Once we get healthy ..."? Dead horse, repeatedly beaten.

"We'll just have to come out tomorrow and start a new game/We can still leave town winning the series"? Rose-colored double-vision.

So, keep a close eye on Geren in his post-game comments. He may have to resort to inapposite metaphors, nonsequiturs, unproven aphorisms, or gibbering nonsense. Word on the street is that Beane is working the phones, trying to pick up some hoary replacement-level AAA bromides for Geren to deploy tomorrow afternoon ("A stitch in time saves nine," "Whistle while you work," "Never piss into the wind," etc.).

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Seriously you are one clever monkey ..

.. nicely done - and btw, the South, er, A's - shall rise again! (we hope) .. :)

.. the Athletics may be small-market but they have BIG-heart! ..

by Randy Bell on May 26, 2007 7:54 PM PDT 0 recs

Fire the Saturday guy!

monkeyball's 2-6 Saturday record this year ain't gonna get it done. Nico's 6-2 Friday record, by contrast, is the kind of top quality win-by-blogger track record we're gonna need to win this division. I know some of you modern sabermetric spork types think wins are a meaningless stat for front pagers...to you I say, you can take your BAA (Blogging Average Against) and WHIP (Written Halo Insult Percentage) and cuddle up with them on the long cold October nights when someone else is blogging the playoffs. Give me wins, baby.

Watt Funk Staturist

by FreeSeatUpgrade on May 26, 2007 8:13 PM PDT 0 recs

Here's the exciting conclusion

to the real story tonight...First, the story...

So at Chezlet Nico, we ordered pizza and the tab came to $43.00 plus tip--$50.00 we agreed. I gave the pizza delivery guy three 20s and asked for $10 back. He fumbled through his pockets and came up with a five and two ones, handed them to me and said, "I guess I'm gonna have to owe you $3.00."

"Exqueeze me?" I replied (that's a paraphrase).

"That's all I have, sorry, I'm gonna have to owe you." I said the only thing that came to my mind.

"When?"

He was incredibly casual about it all; he said if he was in the neighborhood later and had change he could stop by--to which I replied something on the order of yeah, that would be super great.

So we watched the whole game, everyone left, and some delivery guy (or a thief who baked a pretty good pizza) was driving around with three of my dollars in his pocket because sorry, he couldn't give me change.

The exciting conclusion? ... He came by a few minutes ago with my 3 dollars.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on May 26, 2007 8:17 PM PDT 0 recs

wow...an honest man after all

by OaklandSi on May 26, 2007 8:50 PM PDT up 0 recs

Or a man who realized

I knew where he worked...I thought it was 50/50 he'd come back. I'm glad he did--not so much for the $3.00, but more for my faith in humanity.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on May 26, 2007 9:07 PM PDT up 0 recs

Did you offer him $3 for being honest?

In search of a new signature. Say something funny and you may see your comment here!

by DMOAS on May 26, 2007 9:12 PM PDT up 0 recs

at least he didn't ask him

for $10

by OaklandSi on May 26, 2007 9:20 PM PDT up 0 recs

I offered him Erasmo Ramirez,

but he said he'd rather just have the $3.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on May 26, 2007 9:22 PM PDT up 0 recs

I guess i was right.

After Kennedy's last start I predicted here on AN that i was just waiting for a line of 3 IP and 7 runs, and he pretty much did that today.

"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin, Seattle Mariners

by Helloooo 1st on May 26, 2007 8:56 PM PDT 0 recs

we knew he had it in him

by OaklandSi on May 26, 2007 9:03 PM PDT up 0 recs

That's like predicting a Kendall Double Play.

It's the line of 1 run 5+ inning starts that would be impressive to predict.

In search of a new signature. Say something funny and you may see your comment here!

by DMOAS on May 26, 2007 9:14 PM PDT up 0 recs

Point is,

is that Kennedy was just getting lucky in each of his starts as evidenced by only going 5-6 innings in pretty much every one of them and that eventually his luck would run out and all the runners he puts on would start to come around.

"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin, Seattle Mariners

by Helloooo 1st on May 27, 2007 8:41 PM PDT up 0 recs

This may be unpopular but...

Jack Cust and DJ need to sit in the next couple of days. Both have been struggling at the plate this road trip, maybe a day off would help.

Also: BoCro got cheated out of two hits today, once by the ump, once by JayPay. Even on an 0-4 day there are some good signs.

On the minor league front, Kotsay went 0-4 with a BB and a SB (so far) and Meyer went 4.1 innings 7 H 4 ER 3BB 2Ks. What is more disconcerting on the Meyer front is the 108 pitches. He needs to get more quick outs as this has been his MO the last couple of starts.

"Loyal? I'm the most loyal player money can buy." - Don Sutton

by vignette17 on May 26, 2007 9:28 PM PDT 0 recs

Johnson has cooled off a bit,

but I also recall 3 line drive outs in the past 3 games so it may be bad luck as much as slump or fatigue.

With Cust, I think it's just crash-to-earthitis, not fatigue (the guy has basically been working on three years' rest), and right now the A's need every healthy middle-of-the-order hitter to play, not sit.

Anyway, the A's just had Thursday off--why would anyone be particularly fatigued?

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on May 26, 2007 9:36 PM PDT up 0 recs

It was a nice night in Baltimore

warm, but not too humid. Oh, there was a game? It felt like the game was over very early and was pretty boring.

I was looking into the A's bullpen and realized that the those names scare the hell out of me. 3 guys from AAA, 1 from A, 1 mop-up man, 1 mouth-cancer-waiting-to-happen, and 1 guy named Kiko. With Calero's struggles, it would surprise me if he was ailing and got DL'ed for a gorilla named Bananas with some control problems.

Kiko Calero
Colby Lewis*
Alan Embree
Ron Flores
Jay Marshall
Erasmo Ramirez
Jay Witasick

*I figure DiNardo's getting the start next week since Lewis pitched last night.

Just scary...

Signatures? We don't need no stinking signatures.

by jubjub on May 27, 2007 6:22 AM PDT 0 recs

And Four of those Guys are Lefties - yikes

Embree, Flores, Marshall, Ramirez - if DiNardo wasn't promoted to starter, we would have five lefties in the pen - we have to have one of the strangest pitching staffs in the majors right now - hehe ..

.. the Athletics may be small-market but they have BIG-heart! ..

by Randy Bell on May 27, 2007 7:03 AM PDT up 0 recs

I'm disappointed by the lack of . . .

contributions to the aphorism bank. Surely a group as clever and twisted as this one could come up with something to help our manager along, no? In the interest of public service, here's a little something to prime the pump:

It's always darkest . . .
When the going gets tough . . .
Never underestimate the power of . . .
You're only as good as . . .
It is better to light a single candle . . .

by camperdog on May 27, 2007 8:04 AM PDT 0 recs

They shoot catchers, don't they?

Watt Funk Staturist

by FreeSeatUpgrade on May 27, 2007 8:20 AM PDT up 0 recs

to hard on Geren

Comon Geren has done a great job managing the A's give him a break. He couldn't say what he wanted to say like can Kendal hit a ball to the warning track? Or do we have to use Loaiza when he comes back. Only mistake last night is he needed to keep Chavez out of the lineup 1 more night and use scutaro. By the way am I the only one who hopes Kendal strikes out when he comes up to bat so he doesn't hit into a DP?

by Arcman on May 27, 2007 10:06 AM PDT 0 recs