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Jose Lima's Wife's Dress

OK, so my fellow SBN blogger at Lone Star Ball won the infamous dress that Jose Lima's wife Melissa wore to a Dodgers game a while back.  It gained a ton of notoriety due to Melissa's, um, impressive dimensions.

Witness:

She put it up on eBay and Adam Morris decided as a goof to bid on it.  Turns out his goof was the winning bid.  And now he's in a bit of a quandry because he receives a personal inscription on an 8X10 photo.  He needs our help, so I open it up to you, fellow ANers.  Help Adam decide what Melissa Lima should write on the photo.  Hey, this is the best thing to happen to a Rangers fan in 2006, so go help him out and maybe the Rangers will repay us with a few victories over Anaheim in the next few days.

I was figuring something along the lines of, "Those aren't buoys."

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lima
How about...

"insert date of picture"

Commemorate Jose Lima's wife's tits day.

by Emmett89 on Sep 13, 2006 7:07 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How about:
A's Magic #12???

Just Kidding.

How about, "Stay Clear of sharp objects"

"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 7:08 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

dog of flanders!
the great playoff miss of 2004 followed by the good try of 2005...and in 2006 don't make me sick.

by ak_A on Sep 13, 2006 7:10 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Let's go with the obvious
The magic number is 34 DD.
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 7:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Obvious? Obvious? UGLY
Please excuse me, I find this distortion, objectivication, and exhibitionism a little offensive.

This is not a normal human body and it looks ugly when naked, please trust me, I've seen it enough times to know.  What on earth is this poor woman going to do when she's 45?  Do you have any idea how flesh migrates south after forty?

I am infatuated with the human breast as any male, I'm not prude, but this really strikes me the wrong way this morning, I dunno what the hell it is.

How would we feel if we had autograph seekers 'cause our balls are so big and we pushed them out there with our clothes?

Jesus. Just jesus, jesus, will the race ever grow up?

by paradox on Sep 14, 2006 5:54 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I think the goal of this thread
is to be offensive and lewd. With a little childish thrown in for fun.

What's this gal gonna do when she's 45? I don't know but it's not something Lima is going to have to worry about, she'll have divorced him and taken half his stuff long before then!

Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 14, 2006 7:17 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

huh?
"This is not a normal human body and it looks ugly when naked, please trust me, I've seen it enough times to know."

who are you, mr. lima?  her doctor?  or are there naked photos of her floating around the internet that the rest of us are not aware of?

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Sep 14, 2006 8:57 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Rule #1
If you're going to reference naked pictures of women, you must include them to verify your claim.
"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on Sep 14, 2006 9:50 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Huh????
Jesus. Just jesus, jesus, will the race ever grow up?

Not if I can help it!  I hope I always love sunshine on grass, grown men playing a child's game, a good looking woman, and a cold beer.

Next Question.

Frank, what is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of RevHaloFan!

by 510inDenver on Sep 14, 2006 10:24 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Sorry to break the news...
but women with enormous knockers are kind of a tradition when it comes to baseball.

BTW in case anybody is wondering, Morganna the kissing bandit officially hung 'em up a few years back

I miss Bill King :(

by gojohn10 on Sep 14, 2006 5:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How bout'
Got Knife?
"You're just jealous. You wish you had a rally animal..." -CardinalWraith

by Boonee on Sep 13, 2006 7:12 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Go ahead be a little crude...
Got milk?
2nd favorite team: WHOEVER IS PLAYING THE GIANTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by ConcordFanSince1968 on Sep 14, 2006 7:38 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

nice tits
"The Matt Watson/Chiba Lotte Marines Fan Club"-Through Sept 13th: GMS:61,AVG:.282,OBP:.366,SLG:.429, doubles:11, homers:5, RBI:20

by bigelephant on Sep 13, 2006 7:12 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Old fashioned wisdom
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man how to fish and he'll eat his whole life.

Give a man a wife like that and he'll go on a liquid diet.

Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 7:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Jose Sings For His Supper?
Or

Jose sings at bring your rack to the ballpark day

"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 7:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"She put it up on eBay"
how can anyone be sure it's really her?  
maybe it's someone else selling the exact same dress?

if it really is her, she sure buys a lot of stuff on ebay:
http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=noeth2&iid=330025821190&fr m=284&ssPageName=VIP:feedback:1:us

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Sep 13, 2006 7:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

in fact
i'm going to go out on a limb and say it's not her.  unless she supplements her income by selling crap on ebay.
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Sep 13, 2006 7:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

well,
FINALLY we have something to discuss on this site other then street's ass or crosby's package.

'bout time i say.

"The Matt Watson/Chiba Lotte Marines Fan Club"-Through Sept 13th: GMS:61,AVG:.282,OBP:.366,SLG:.429, doubles:11, homers:5, RBI:20

by bigelephant on Sep 13, 2006 7:15 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hahah
AMEN
"It's never 'just a game' if you're winning" - George Carlin

by bluelightrain84 on Sep 13, 2006 9:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wow
Impressive

by hellabeats on Sep 13, 2006 7:17 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Behind Every Great Man is uh...uh...uh
Damn Look At Those Tits!!!!
"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 7:17 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Something she might actually sign
It's amazing what a career 5.26 ERA can buy these days!
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 7:21 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

and the winner is:
"here's pointing at you, kid"
"Who cares?" he said. "We won." - Swisher; "I like the moist sensation" - Zito

by Erik being Erik on Sep 13, 2006 7:22 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Es no Lima time, es Tittie time!
"Don't you play the flute, Huddy?"

by capper3 on Sep 13, 2006 7:22 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Huh?
Jose Lima's in the picture?
Asked where Zito's perfect fit would be, Hudson said, "Do they have a league on Mars?"

by JLaff on Sep 13, 2006 7:24 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

thanks for the mammaries
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Sep 13, 2006 7:24 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gee, what makes you say that?
"Obviously, there is considerable stretch and give in this material."

by Flyin As on Sep 13, 2006 7:25 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Today, I consider myself...
the luckiest man on the face of the earth..."

by calvin on Sep 13, 2006 7:28 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Winner!!!
"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 7:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

chicken dinner
the great playoff miss of 2004 followed by the good try of 2005...and in 2006 don't make me sick.

by ak_A on Sep 13, 2006 7:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

k...
"Baseball been berry berry BERRY good to me"

by calvin on Sep 13, 2006 7:30 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Double-DH?
"I smell like a meadow." - Yuniesky Betancourt

by Ozzz on Sep 13, 2006 9:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This was during the national anthem?
"Jose, can you see..
THOSE BIG ASS TITTIES NEXT TO YOU!!!"
"Who cares?" he said. "We won." - Swisher; "I like the moist sensation" - Zito

by Erik being Erik on Sep 13, 2006 7:41 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

LOL
nice.
"The Matt Watson/Chiba Lotte Marines Fan Club"-Through Sept 13th: GMS:61,AVG:.282,OBP:.366,SLG:.429, doubles:11, homers:5, RBI:20

by bigelephant on Sep 13, 2006 7:42 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wow
I'm sure more Dodger fans would stay all 9 (or at least 7 or 8 innings) if they had that kind of view every game.
Asked where Zito's perfect fit would be, Hudson said, "Do they have a league on Mars?"

by JLaff on Sep 13, 2006 7:56 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Damn
I wish they would've let her jog around the bases.
"It's never 'just a game' if you're winning" - George Carlin

by bluelightrain84 on Sep 13, 2006 8:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I must look really silly right now:
I keep trying to root on my computer!!!
"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 7:54 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Hey Anna?
What've you got on me, slut?!"

by sprtsnwyn on Sep 13, 2006 7:55 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Since everybody else is being crass...
Why write anything on it?  The ink will wipe off after you third or fourth time you have to clean it.
Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Sep 13, 2006 8:09 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That sir...
is the quote to write on the picture.  Here's the real question, does Jose get paid enough to afford the upkeep on those?????

by apmonia on Sep 13, 2006 8:13 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Lima
played for the Dodgers, but now plays with the Twins.

Yikes.

by Patrick A on Sep 13, 2006 8:13 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

hilarious
"Who cares?" he said. "We won." - Swisher; "I like the moist sensation" - Zito

by Erik being Erik on Sep 13, 2006 8:15 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

good work
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Sep 13, 2006 8:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

<golf clap>
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 10:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Lol im pretty sure not a single female
member of AN has commented in this diary.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin, Seattle Mariners

by Helloooo 1st on Sep 13, 2006 8:13 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That's exactly
what I was going to say. Finally some payback for all the "cute man butt" type comments.

by Jonny Oklnd on Sep 13, 2006 10:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Women get that kind of "payback"
their whole lives.  That's why I thought those man-butt threads were a nice change.

by Ray of Lite on Sep 14, 2006 6:58 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

*I* think it's hilarious!
Seriously, women who dress like that for a public appearance are looking for objectification, so go right ahead and oblige her!  LOL
"I miss taking showers with Kendall" ~ Brian Giles

by Poppy on Sep 14, 2006 6:16 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nope
Nobody is "looking for objectification."

And not to go all feminist on y'all, but it is NOT the same thing as women talking about men's bodies.

When as many men get sexually assaulted and raped by women as women get raped and sexually assaulted by men, we can talk about this thread and a discussion of BoCro's package being equivalent to each other.

Until then, I think this thread looks suspiciously like a violation of Community Guideline rule #2 that bans "Comments that are intolerant or prejudiced (sexist, racist, homophobic, etc.) in nature, e.g., "Why don't you go play with your dolls?", "The A's shouldn't sign black players," "Doesn't Damon look like a fag?", etc."

So who do I report this Blez guy to ;-)?

"It took eight hours...seven-and-a-half to find the heart." -- Steve McCatty on Charlie Finley's heart surgery.

by GreenNGoldSooner on Sep 14, 2006 7:17 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Honestly, if you think it violates the CGV,
then report Blez for a CGV.  He's not on the committee that hands out CGVs, and they'll issue him a warning if they find your complaint with merit.  Granted, Blez will never be bAnNeD! because he's got the keys to this place, but it might make him think about whether or not what he writes might be hurtful to some community members.

For the record, however, I think one T&A thread every so often is ok.  But not everybody agrees with me, otherwise we'd have invented weather-control a long time ago.

Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Sep 14, 2006 7:36 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Honestly?
I think this post is in a grey area, and since I'm a free-speech kind of guy, I wouldn't report the person who posted it even if it wasn't Blez.  

But this post did strike me as the kind of gendered territory-marking that in a sports world -- and blog -- that includes plenty of women really doesn't belong on the frontpage. And I do maintain that given power dynamics in our society, when men do this it's simply not the same as when women do it. (In addition, of course, posts about BoCro's package have much more Oakland A's content than this post does.)

At any rate, the solution to posts such as this, IMO, is not censorship, but rather more speech pointing out the problem. That was what my comment was about. Y'all can go on having your fun now.

"It took eight hours...seven-and-a-half to find the heart." -- Steve McCatty on Charlie Finley's heart surgery.

by GreenNGoldSooner on Sep 14, 2006 1:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That dress...
...has "look at my tits!!!" stamped all over it.

My use of the word "objectification" is probably incorrect, as it connotes treating someone as an object, not just talking about them as such.  Perhaps I should have just said that she's obviously seeking attention, and as an adult, she should know how crass a lot of that attention is going to be... and if it's her choice to seek crass attention, then go ahead and talk any way you want about her.  Crass talk doesn't cause rape.  Neither do crass dresses.  Or women who wear crass dresses.

We're talking about talk on a message board.  I'm not discussing any sociological/psychological/criminal implications of members of either sex making crude jokes about the opposite sex, and I'm not afraid that anybody on AN is going to rape me or anyone else just because they've made some crude jokes about a woman with incredibly tacky taste in clothing.

"I miss taking showers with Kendall" ~ Brian Giles

by Poppy on Sep 14, 2006 7:41 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No...
her tits have "look at my tits" stamped all over em.  I honestly can't imagine what she would wear that wouldn't showcase her "assets" that way.  Objectification happens, man or woman, all the time.  Only women tend not to go all "hubba hubba honk honk" about it.  Men think with the little head in situations like that, we all know it.

I'm not the type to be offended by stuff like this, I just don't think it's all that comment-worthy and I hope the winner of the prize asks for Melissa to inscribe something appropriate on her picture so that she doesn't end up feeling insulted.

by LD on Sep 14, 2006 8:58 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

But...
...do you think every possible garment she could have worn would have showcased those things as prominently as a tight jersey top does?  Obviously, there's nothing that would HIDE them, and that's not what I would advocate anyway.  But she's clearly trying (unnecessarily) to accentuate them as much as possible.
"I miss taking showers with Kendall" ~ Brian Giles

by Poppy on Sep 14, 2006 9:13 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

clarification
By "jersey top," I mean that the fabric appears to be jersey knit (I could be wrong).  I didn't mean "jersey" like an athletic jersey.
"I miss taking showers with Kendall" ~ Brian Giles

by Poppy on Sep 14, 2006 9:15 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I knew what you meant
but your use of the word "jersey" in this context gave me a <snerk> anyway

by LD on Sep 14, 2006 9:24 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Nah, you're right.
There are things that she could have worn that wouldn't show em off so much, but I'm a firm believer that women should wear what makes em feel sexy...and that doesn't translate directly to a need for attention.  The attention often comes when a woman looks sexy, but that doesn't mean it's her primary motivation.  See the difference in my perspective?

by LD on Sep 14, 2006 9:23 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I see the difference...
And I guess I just have to laugh at her because my perspective is "Why do you need to feel sexy while you are just accompanying your husband at his job?"  I wouldn't dress in a way that passes as "sexy" for me if I were going to my husband's office for something...  LOL
"I miss taking showers with Kendall" ~ Brian Giles

by Poppy on Sep 14, 2006 9:32 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Damn.
You mean I shouldn't have worn my thigh high boots and g-string to the office?  Oops, better go home and change!

by LD on Sep 14, 2006 9:54 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don't mind if you go feminist
on us(or me) at least.

But if someone dresses in a particular to show off / attract attention, I don't see why people should not
react.

For example if a guy with a muscular body, big bis and tris, thick ripped legs, nice ass, walks around in a sleeveless shirt and tight shorts, and ends up attracting lots of attention and comments, would you complain?

And it is increasingly becoming much more common for male athletes to be objectified.

On Sunday, Minaya ticked off a list of candidates to join the rotation, and for once this season, none of them was Jose Lima.

by rfloh on Sep 14, 2006 8:48 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Front and Center
Top of the page, with photo.  Bummer to me, but whatever, I basically agree with Poppy's and Sal's comments.  

But Blez, a diary instead of a front page feature might have been more appropriate.  For all the ass talk, I wouldn't expect to see an ass shot on the front page and I wouldn't want to see that even in a "turnabout is fair play" kind of way.

My $.02.

Nothing says fun like Premium Meat!

by lurkerD on Sep 14, 2006 9:06 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh, lighten up for crying out loud
"VORP? Not a clue what that is. But if it's good, I'll take it!"

-Nick Swisher

by kaweahkaweah on Sep 14, 2006 9:31 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The sad thing is
He probably paid for those with one game check where he gave up 5 runs and 9 hits in 2 innings.

Side note: I like the female body as much as the next guy, but those don't look good. Sometimes too much is too much.

I'll try not to swear.

by Tony on Sep 13, 2006 8:16 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

your man card has been temporarily suspended
"Who cares?" he said. "We won." - Swisher; "I like the moist sensation" - Zito

by Erik being Erik on Sep 13, 2006 8:19 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I actually agree with you on that
Tony.  Those are ridiculous, sideshow-type material.  Either that or porn star.

by Blez on Sep 13, 2006 9:10 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

What's wrong with porn stars?
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 10:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

hey!
piss up a rope you big fat liar.

by Bearcat on Sep 13, 2006 10:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah....
I'm always complaining that I have to much money.
"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer

by alox on Sep 15, 2006 5:18 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh man
My GOD.
"It's never 'just a game' if you're winning" - George Carlin

by bluelightrain84 on Sep 13, 2006 8:18 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I won a better dress

And, yes I am male.... No, I did not sell it on E-bay. The raffle money went to a good cause.

Unfortunately, they were not able to get Morena to sign it.

by Donner on Sep 13, 2006 8:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I have no problem making fun of this lady.
"Dear Adam,

Congratulations! This is as close as you're ever going to get.

Cordially,
Melissa
"

Or

"Adam, blah, blah, blah, blah."

Something tells me Joe would not be cool with that.

by Jennifer on Sep 13, 2006 8:55 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I like that one
Goliath, dissatisfied with his size advantage, decided to buy David's sling, which took steroids.

by TexasAsfan on Sep 14, 2006 6:17 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You losers!!
I am ashamed of each and every one of you A's fools!! Those breasts are not Gods work! What are you thinking? Sober up, or go root for the Dodgers or Padres. Seriously, fake breasts are fake! 99% of women with fake breasts are...fake!
Northern California should promote natural women with natural breasts. Yes we like big juicy ones, but even little juicy ones can be sleepers!
But fake! Go fuck yourself! I hate you guys! In the middle of a pennant chase??? you guys are geeks!

by baseballbill on Sep 13, 2006 8:56 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Aw
He's right, if we wanna see genuine breasts look at Mike Scioscia
"It's never 'just a game' if you're winning" - George Carlin

by bluelightrain84 on Sep 13, 2006 9:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Or Bartolo.
"I smell like a meadow." - Yuniesky Betancourt

by Ozzz on Sep 13, 2006 9:26 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

that dress would come with sweat stains
"Be in first place, then come and talk to me!!!" Erik being Erik to Angels fan at Anaheim Stadium.

by Amnesiac727 on Sep 13, 2006 9:51 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No ...
Scioscia is either:
A boob.
or
A flesh-bulb.
Self-appointed VP, BBG Groupies, NorCal Chapter

by angus hanger on Sep 14, 2006 7:59 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

OK
I'm hoping you're joking around here.
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 10:24 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

im sorry guys...
this is totally inappropriate - but i had to post it....

is that gonna get me kicked off?

Throwback sig: "Huston's perfect. He sits at home at night reading the Bible and making sugar cookies." ~Jennifer

by digsthelongball on Sep 13, 2006 8:58 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Holy Toledo!!!
"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 9:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

BTW, her sun glasses are gay...
and she's a fake blond. At 60 she will be one lousy lay, if not already!!

by baseballbill on Sep 13, 2006 9:01 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Jos?, can you see?
"The guy's Far Eastern. Psychic. He knows what the hitters are looking for, and he relays that to me," Zito said.

by LAXile on Sep 13, 2006 9:06 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

now I see Erik being Erik's funnier
post above...
"The guy's Far Eastern. Psychic. He knows what the hitters are looking for, and he relays that to me," Zito said.

by LAXile on Sep 14, 2006 7:27 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Holy Torpedos!!! -Bill King
"I think we just feel that now is our time." - Nick Swisher

by saint on Sep 13, 2006 9:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

HAHA
<banned!>

by Jonny Oklnd on Sep 13, 2006 10:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How about
No pitcher can pitch a no-hitter in these Domes!
It's It. What is it? aim: encryptthisthat

by Hit4TheCycle on Sep 13, 2006 9:17 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My suggestion:
"The money from this dress will go part of the way towards paying for what I stuffed in it."
"I smell like a meadow." - Yuniesky Betancourt

by Ozzz on Sep 13, 2006 9:22 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

that photo reminded me
that i should donate some money to a charity.  
i'm thinking of going with Feed The Children.
A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Sep 13, 2006 9:41 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

fun bags
is that appropriate?

by AlBowe on Sep 13, 2006 10:11 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm going to go real obscure...
She could hide a whole watermelon!
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 10:23 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"In case of a water landing....
...I can be used as a flotation device!"
"Why won't everyone do what I want???" ~SportySpice

by baseballgirl on Sep 13, 2006 10:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I can't believe
We've really gone this long without a Wedding Crashers quoteable. Those seem to be built for speed, not comfort. Erm... Motorboating.

by Jonny Oklnd on Sep 13, 2006 10:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"You motorboating sonofabitch, you"
"Who cares?" he said. "We won." - Swisher; "I like the moist sensation" - Zito

by Erik being Erik on Sep 13, 2006 11:29 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

HA!
That almost made me snort coffee out of my nose.  Thanks.

by LD on Sep 14, 2006 9:06 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

One of my fav quotes on there...
Rule #76: No excuses. Play like a champion!
"Mommy and Daddy are going to take a nap before the baseball game starts..."

by Devyn on Sep 14, 2006 12:38 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wow
I didn't know they still had zeppelin races
Something clever

by SLOtown on Sep 13, 2006 10:28 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Sure my boobs are fake...
but my love for Jose is real... well, no, that's fake too.   But the kid is his, I'm almost positive."

by calvin on Sep 13, 2006 10:28 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That was cheap, cruel and uncalled for
I like it.
Why yes. I am a ray of warm and fuzzy sunshine.

by grover on Sep 13, 2006 10:31 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Surprised no one's gone here yet...
Can you believe this guy gave me herpes?
"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on Sep 13, 2006 10:49 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I would have paid
more than $152 for that super awesome piece of sports memorabilia. I really wish I would have known about the auction. And a personally signed photo to boot.  Damn.  what a steal.

by Bearcat on Sep 13, 2006 11:01 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hrmm
I wonder . . . 34 DD?
"It's never 'just a game' if you're winning" - George Carlin

by bluelightrain84 on Sep 13, 2006 11:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No thanks, I'm more of an A's's fan.
"...but we're also always open to hearing about other sandwiches if it can make our lunch better." -- Nico, channeling Billy Beane

by iglew on Sep 14, 2006 12:35 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Late to this debate but....
How about:
"Dodgers visit Silicon Valley!"
Tear down Mount Davis!

by polytician on Sep 14, 2006 6:21 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Congratulations to the new owner...
...of America's second most famous dress.

Have a cigar.

Love, Melissa"  

"You go with your feelin's, Johnny--right or wrong, you go with your feelin's." --Dan Dority

by The Dogfather on Sep 14, 2006 7:17 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

To follow the original request
of what the lady would write...I like Jennifer's ideas above.
However, I think the lady should write:

Dear Adam,

KEEP IT REAL

Melissa

"Who cares?" he said. "We won." - Swisher; "I like the moist sensation" - Zito

by Erik being Erik on Sep 14, 2006 7:51 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Dear Adam,
Hope this enhances your life.
-Melissa
A's 2006 record when I attend: 10-7

by peanut gallery on Sep 14, 2006 8:38 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Okay...
"Why yes, it was a bit chilly outside that afternoon."
"VORP? Not a clue what that is. But if it's good, I'll take it!"

-Nick Swisher

by kaweahkaweah on Sep 14, 2006 9:33 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

this is fun
Ridiculously huge tits!
hugs and kisses,
Mel
I miss Bill King :(

by gojohn10 on Sep 14, 2006 9:40 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How about....
Looking for 4 foot tall midget to walk in front of me so I don't fall over. Maybe Jose likes making other men's head off the field as well.

by jjham15 on Sep 14, 2006 9:42 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I can't believe it hasn't been posted.
"Christ, what an asshole."
Something tells me Joe would not be cool with that.

by Jennifer on Sep 14, 2006 9:54 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

mkt must not be online yet...
"I miss taking showers with Kendall" ~ Brian Giles

by Poppy on Sep 14, 2006 9:55 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You don't need to hit a home run.
Sometimes just getting to second base is good enough.
"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on Sep 14, 2006 9:55 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

went on wikipedia to get some enlightenment...
and now my life looks a whole hell of a lot better.

Personal life

In December 2004, Lima was successfully sued by a woman who claimed she had contracted genital herpes from him. Faced with counts of assault and negligence, Lima may owe the woman as much as $950,000. He claims to have contracted the incurable disease while on vacation in the Dominican Republic.

anyway, how about "bigger than my husband's ERA."

now i feel all dirty.

by The Eternal Optimist on Sep 14, 2006 10:22 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

This is the essence
of my suggested quote above.
"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on Sep 14, 2006 11:11 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"And so...
...in the interest of mammarian manifestations everywhere, I would like to take this opportunity to announce my new foundation, Bosom Buddies, dedicated to the promotion and uplift of tremedous titties the world over."
1972...1973...1974...1989...2006

by emperor nobody on Sep 14, 2006 10:51 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My list
"ya babies...it's Lima time...chachacha"

" Do my shoes match?"

"They're financed"

" This is worster-case scenario" BB 7/6/06

by rook on Sep 14, 2006 10:53 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How bout:
"they're fake.  BELIEVE IT!"

by oaktownmario on Sep 14, 2006 10:59 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Since he bought a dress....
Dear Adam,
WEAR IT!
Love,
Mel
Stat Wonk Futurist

by salb918 on Sep 14, 2006 11:03 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Does it even matter what she writes on it??
If I ended up with her dress after seeing those photos, the dress would end up too stained to preserve any inscription anyway.  Maybe she should sign with Luminol ink.
Green Day was right: Wake me up when September ends.

by BlameChannel53 on Sep 14, 2006 11:51 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

if it does matter . . .
how about:

Cost of pitcher with 6.23 E.R.A. -- $4.8 million
Cost of ticket to view speech -- $26
Trophy wife with vacuous look and bazoombas -- priceless.

Green Day was right: Wake me up when September ends.

by BlameChannel53 on Sep 14, 2006 11:55 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How About:
Dear Adam, aka, Lone Ranger:

Tonto has nothing on you.

From all of US,

Melissa

COME ON, OAKLAND, COME ON!

by Colorado Fan on Sep 14, 2006 12:21 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

How about this...
Adam,

Enclosed is my business card.

Melissa Lima
For hire as a professional attention diversion during ghastly National Anthem renditions.

Thanks,
Mel

"Hate the Angels, yeahhhhh!" -Sandfrog

by franks a lot on Sep 14, 2006 12:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Melissa:
My husband plays for the Dodgers?!
"Maybe if I lay here in the dirt, nobody will notice I've forgotten how to hit" ~Crosby in ANtics

by streetfan on Sep 14, 2006 12:42 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The kid says,
"Mommy, why are all those men staring at you?"

"Mommy, I know the players grab their crotches in games, but why are all the men in the stands doing it too?"

by Scottbass on Sep 14, 2006 1:24 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Gilbert and Sullivan inscription
On my arm at the ballgame a Lima did sing/Oh pillow, tit-pillow, tit-pillow.
"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on Sep 14, 2006 1:37 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

how about...
making use of our dear friend, the hawk, who i'm sure we will have to endure this weekend...

"You can put 'em on the board..... YES!!!!"

You've been great, I'm out!

"Peter you're drunk again!"... "No, I'm just exhausted because I've been up all night drinking."

by ChavyFan03 on Sep 14, 2006 1:45 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Herpes!
"it's like an alarm clock, WOOT WOOT!" -Bubb Rubb

by secret ASian man on Sep 14, 2006 7:30 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

sign it....

"the camera adds ten D's"
love, melissa

by Eric in Atlanta on Sep 14, 2006 8:06 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

btw...

is he wearing an ear piece?  so he doesn't forget the words?  olympians could use that.

by Eric in Atlanta on Sep 14, 2006 8:07 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bring Back Twin Peaks!
Brilliant But Cancelled.
"I see Milton Bradley being the Oaktown player that breaks out this year." breaks out... breaks out of where? jail?

by gdub171 on Sep 14, 2006 10:34 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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