Jose Lima's Wife's Dress
OK, so my fellow SBN blogger at Lone Star Ball won the infamous dress that Jose Lima's wife Melissa wore to a Dodgers game a while back. It gained a ton of notoriety due to Melissa's, um, impressive dimensions.
Witness:

She put it up on eBay and Adam Morris decided as a goof to bid on it. Turns out his goof was the winning bid. And now he's in a bit of a quandry because he receives a personal inscription on an 8X10 photo. He needs our help, so I open it up to you, fellow ANers. Help Adam decide what Melissa Lima should write on the photo. Hey, this is the best thing to happen to a Rangers fan in 2006, so go help him out and maybe the Rangers will repay us with a few victories over Anaheim in the next few days.
I was figuring something along the lines of, "Those aren't buoys."
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150 comments
Comments
lima
"insert date of picture"
Commemorate Jose Lima's wife's tits day.
by Emmett89 on
Sep 13, 2006 7:07 PM PDT
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How about:
Just Kidding.
How about, "Stay Clear of sharp objects"
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 7:08 PM PDT
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Oh Sweet Mother...
by BleacherDave on
Sep 13, 2006 7:09 PM PDT
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dog of flanders!
by ak_A on
Sep 13, 2006 7:10 PM PDT
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Let's go with the obvious
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 7:11 PM PDT
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Obvious? Obvious? UGLY
This is not a normal human body and it looks ugly when naked, please trust me, I've seen it enough times to know. What on earth is this poor woman going to do when she's 45? Do you have any idea how flesh migrates south after forty?
I am infatuated with the human breast as any male, I'm not prude, but this really strikes me the wrong way this morning, I dunno what the hell it is.
How would we feel if we had autograph seekers 'cause our balls are so big and we pushed them out there with our clothes?
Jesus. Just jesus, jesus, will the race ever grow up?
by paradox on
Sep 14, 2006 5:54 AM PDT
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I think the goal of this thread
What's this gal gonna do when she's 45? I don't know but it's not something Lima is going to have to worry about, she'll have divorced him and taken half his stuff long before then!
by grover on
Sep 14, 2006 7:17 AM PDT
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huh?
who are you, mr. lima? her doctor? or are there naked photos of her floating around the internet that the rest of us are not aware of?
by xbhaskarx on
Sep 14, 2006 8:57 AM PDT
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Huh????
Not if I can help it! I hope I always love sunshine on grass, grown men playing a child's game, a good looking woman, and a cold beer.
Next Question.
by 510inDenver on
Sep 14, 2006 10:24 AM PDT
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Sorry to break the news...

BTW in case anybody is wondering, Morganna the kissing bandit officially hung 'em up a few years back
by gojohn10 on
Sep 14, 2006 5:20 PM PDT
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How bout'
by Boonee on
Sep 13, 2006 7:12 PM PDT
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Go ahead be a little crude...
by ConcordFanSince1968 on
Sep 14, 2006 7:38 AM PDT
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nice tits
by bigelephant on
Sep 13, 2006 7:12 PM PDT
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Old fashioned wisdom
Give a man a wife like that and he'll go on a liquid diet.
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 7:14 PM PDT
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Jose Sings For His Supper?
Jose sings at bring your rack to the ballpark day
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 7:14 PM PDT
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"She put it up on eBay"
maybe it's someone else selling the exact same dress?
if it really is her, she sure buys a lot of stuff on ebay:
http://feedback.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewFeedback&userid=noeth2&iid=330025821190&fr m=284&ssPageName=VIP:feedback:1:us
by xbhaskarx on
Sep 13, 2006 7:14 PM PDT
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in fact
by xbhaskarx on
Sep 13, 2006 7:19 PM PDT
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well,
'bout time i say.
by bigelephant on
Sep 13, 2006 7:15 PM PDT
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Hahah
by bluelightrain84 on
Sep 13, 2006 9:03 PM PDT
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Did I miss the discussion
by boilerdan on
Sep 14, 2006 5:47 AM PDT
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Okay, here ya go!
and
http://www.athleticsnation.com/story/2005/7/13/102421/968
(Courtesy of the AN Co-op Glossary) ;)
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 6:12 AM PDT
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Behind Every Great Man is uh...uh...uh
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 7:17 PM PDT
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Something she might actually sign
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 7:21 PM PDT
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and the winner is:
by Erik being Erik on
Sep 13, 2006 7:22 PM PDT
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Es no Lima time, es Tittie time!
by capper3 on
Sep 13, 2006 7:22 PM PDT
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Huh?
by JLaff on
Sep 13, 2006 7:24 PM PDT
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thanks for the mammaries
by xbhaskarx on
Sep 13, 2006 7:24 PM PDT
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Gee, what makes you say that?
by Flyin As on
Sep 13, 2006 7:25 PM PDT
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"Some people like Lima beans....
by calvin on
Sep 13, 2006 7:27 PM PDT
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i was thinking the same thing
by methodrampage on
Sep 13, 2006 8:09 PM PDT
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"Today, I consider myself...
by calvin on
Sep 13, 2006 7:28 PM PDT
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Winner!!!
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 7:33 PM PDT
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chicken dinner
by ak_A on
Sep 13, 2006 7:40 PM PDT
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k...
by calvin on
Sep 13, 2006 7:30 PM PDT
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Double-DH?
by Ozzz on
Sep 13, 2006 9:24 PM PDT
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This was during the national anthem?
THOSE BIG ASS TITTIES NEXT TO YOU!!!"
by Erik being Erik on
Sep 13, 2006 7:41 PM PDT
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LOL
by bigelephant on
Sep 13, 2006 7:42 PM PDT
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Wow
by JLaff on
Sep 13, 2006 7:56 PM PDT
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Damn
by bluelightrain84 on
Sep 13, 2006 8:20 PM PDT
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she wouldn't do it
by Brian in 317 on
Sep 15, 2006 7:13 AM PDT
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I must look really silly right now:
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 7:54 PM PDT
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"Hey Anna?
by sprtsnwyn on
Sep 13, 2006 7:55 PM PDT
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Since everybody else is being crass...
by salb918 on
Sep 13, 2006 8:09 PM PDT
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That sir...
by apmonia on
Sep 13, 2006 8:13 PM PDT
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Lima
Yikes.
by Patrick A on
Sep 13, 2006 8:13 PM PDT
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hilarious
by Erik being Erik on
Sep 13, 2006 8:15 PM PDT
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God, I wish I had thought of that
by Tony on
Sep 13, 2006 8:17 PM PDT
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<golf clap>
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 10:19 PM PDT
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Lol im pretty sure not a single female
by Helloooo 1st on
Sep 13, 2006 8:13 PM PDT
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That's exactly
by Jonny Oklnd on
Sep 13, 2006 10:19 PM PDT
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Women get that kind of "payback"
by Ray of Lite on
Sep 14, 2006 6:58 AM PDT
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*I* think it's hilarious!
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 6:16 AM PDT
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Nope
And not to go all feminist on y'all, but it is NOT the same thing as women talking about men's bodies.
When as many men get sexually assaulted and raped by women as women get raped and sexually assaulted by men, we can talk about this thread and a discussion of BoCro's package being equivalent to each other.
Until then, I think this thread looks suspiciously like a violation of Community Guideline rule #2 that bans "Comments that are intolerant or prejudiced (sexist, racist, homophobic, etc.) in nature, e.g., "Why don't you go play with your dolls?", "The A's shouldn't sign black players," "Doesn't Damon look like a fag?", etc."
So who do I report this Blez guy to ;-)?
by GreenNGoldSooner on
Sep 14, 2006 7:17 AM PDT
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Honestly, if you think it violates the CGV,
For the record, however, I think one T&A thread every so often is ok. But not everybody agrees with me, otherwise we'd have invented weather-control a long time ago.
by salb918 on
Sep 14, 2006 7:36 AM PDT
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Honestly?
But this post did strike me as the kind of gendered territory-marking that in a sports world -- and blog -- that includes plenty of women really doesn't belong on the frontpage. And I do maintain that given power dynamics in our society, when men do this it's simply not the same as when women do it. (In addition, of course, posts about BoCro's package have much more Oakland A's content than this post does.)
At any rate, the solution to posts such as this, IMO, is not censorship, but rather more speech pointing out the problem. That was what my comment was about. Y'all can go on having your fun now.
by GreenNGoldSooner on
Sep 14, 2006 1:30 PM PDT
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That dress...
My use of the word "objectification" is probably incorrect, as it connotes treating someone as an object, not just talking about them as such. Perhaps I should have just said that she's obviously seeking attention, and as an adult, she should know how crass a lot of that attention is going to be... and if it's her choice to seek crass attention, then go ahead and talk any way you want about her. Crass talk doesn't cause rape. Neither do crass dresses. Or women who wear crass dresses.
We're talking about talk on a message board. I'm not discussing any sociological/psychological/criminal implications of members of either sex making crude jokes about the opposite sex, and I'm not afraid that anybody on AN is going to rape me or anyone else just because they've made some crude jokes about a woman with incredibly tacky taste in clothing.
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 7:41 AM PDT
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No...
I'm not the type to be offended by stuff like this, I just don't think it's all that comment-worthy and I hope the winner of the prize asks for Melissa to inscribe something appropriate on her picture so that she doesn't end up feeling insulted.
by LD on
Sep 14, 2006 8:58 AM PDT
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But...
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 9:13 AM PDT
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clarification
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 9:15 AM PDT
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I knew what you meant
by LD on
Sep 14, 2006 9:24 AM PDT
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Nah, you're right.
by LD on
Sep 14, 2006 9:23 AM PDT
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I see the difference...
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 9:32 AM PDT
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Damn.
by LD on
Sep 14, 2006 9:54 AM PDT
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I don't mind if you go feminist
But if someone dresses in a particular to show off / attract attention, I don't see why people should not
react.
For example if a guy with a muscular body, big bis and tris, thick ripped legs, nice ass, walks around in a sleeveless shirt and tight shorts, and ends up attracting lots of attention and comments, would you complain?
And it is increasingly becoming much more common for male athletes to be objectified.
by rfloh on
Sep 14, 2006 8:48 AM PDT
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Front and Center
But Blez, a diary instead of a front page feature might have been more appropriate. For all the ass talk, I wouldn't expect to see an ass shot on the front page and I wouldn't want to see that even in a "turnabout is fair play" kind of way.
My $.02.
by lurkerD on
Sep 14, 2006 9:06 AM PDT
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Oh, lighten up for crying out loud
-Nick Swisher
by kaweahkaweah on
Sep 14, 2006 9:31 AM PDT
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The sad thing is
Side note: I like the female body as much as the next guy, but those don't look good. Sometimes too much is too much.
by Tony on
Sep 13, 2006 8:16 PM PDT
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your man card has been temporarily suspended
by Erik being Erik on
Sep 13, 2006 8:19 PM PDT
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I actually agree with you on that
by Blez on
Sep 13, 2006 9:10 PM PDT
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What's wrong with porn stars?
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 10:26 PM PDT
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hey!
by Bearcat on
Sep 13, 2006 10:58 PM PDT
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Oh man
by bluelightrain84 on
Sep 13, 2006 8:18 PM PDT
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I won a better dress
And, yes I am male.... No, I did not sell it on E-bay. The raffle money went to a good cause.
Unfortunately, they were not able to get Morena to sign it.
by Donner on
Sep 13, 2006 8:26 PM PDT
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I have no problem making fun of this lady.
Congratulations! This is as close as you're ever going to get.
Cordially,
Melissa"
Or
"Adam, blah, blah, blah, blah."
by Jennifer on
Sep 13, 2006 8:55 PM PDT
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I like that one
by TexasAsfan on
Sep 14, 2006 6:17 AM PDT
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You losers!!
Northern California should promote natural women with natural breasts. Yes we like big juicy ones, but even little juicy ones can be sleepers!
But fake! Go fuck yourself! I hate you guys! In the middle of a pennant chase??? you guys are geeks!
by baseballbill on
Sep 13, 2006 8:56 PM PDT
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Aw
by bluelightrain84 on
Sep 13, 2006 9:04 PM PDT
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Or Bartolo.
by Ozzz on
Sep 13, 2006 9:26 PM PDT
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that dress would come with sweat stains
by Amnesiac727 on
Sep 13, 2006 9:51 PM PDT
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No ...
A boob.
or
A flesh-bulb.
by angus hanger on
Sep 14, 2006 7:59 AM PDT
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im sorry guys...
is that gonna get me kicked off?
by digsthelongball on
Sep 13, 2006 8:58 PM PDT
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Holy Toledo!!!
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 9:04 PM PDT
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BTW, her sun glasses are gay...
by baseballbill on
Sep 13, 2006 9:01 PM PDT
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Jos?, can you see?
by LAXile on
Sep 13, 2006 9:06 PM PDT
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now I see Erik being Erik's funnier
by LAXile on
Sep 14, 2006 7:27 AM PDT
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Holy Torpedos!!! -Bill King
by saint on
Sep 13, 2006 9:11 PM PDT
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How about
by Hit4TheCycle on
Sep 13, 2006 9:17 PM PDT
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My suggestion:
by Ozzz on
Sep 13, 2006 9:22 PM PDT
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that photo reminded me
i'm thinking of going with Feed The Children.
by xbhaskarx on
Sep 13, 2006 9:41 PM PDT
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I'm going to go real obscure...
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 10:23 PM PDT
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"In case of a water landing....
by baseballgirl on
Sep 13, 2006 10:26 PM PDT
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I can't believe
by Jonny Oklnd on
Sep 13, 2006 10:27 PM PDT
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"You motorboating sonofabitch, you"
by Erik being Erik on
Sep 13, 2006 11:29 PM PDT
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HA!
by LD on
Sep 14, 2006 9:06 AM PDT
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One of my fav quotes on there...
by Devyn on
Sep 14, 2006 12:38 PM PDT
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Wow
by SLOtown on
Sep 13, 2006 10:28 PM PDT
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"Sure my boobs are fake...
by calvin on
Sep 13, 2006 10:28 PM PDT
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That was cheap, cruel and uncalled for
by grover on
Sep 13, 2006 10:31 PM PDT
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Surprised no one's gone here yet...
by jeepers on
Sep 13, 2006 10:49 PM PDT
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I think that it should say...
by ChaBinsky on
Sep 13, 2006 10:59 PM PDT
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I would have paid
by Bearcat on
Sep 13, 2006 11:01 PM PDT
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Hrmm
by bluelightrain84 on
Sep 13, 2006 11:26 PM PDT
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No thanks, I'm more of an A's's fan.
by iglew on
Sep 14, 2006 12:35 AM PDT
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Late to this debate but....
"Dodgers visit Silicon Valley!"
by polytician on
Sep 14, 2006 6:21 AM PDT
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"Congratulations to the new owner...
Have a cigar.
Love, Melissa"
by The Dogfather on
Sep 14, 2006 7:17 AM PDT
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To follow the original request
However, I think the lady should write:
Dear Adam,
KEEP IT REAL
Melissa
by Erik being Erik on
Sep 14, 2006 7:51 AM PDT
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Dear Adam,
-Melissa
by peanut gallery on
Sep 14, 2006 8:38 AM PDT
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Okay...
-Nick Swisher
by kaweahkaweah on
Sep 14, 2006 9:33 AM PDT
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this is fun
hugs and kisses,
Mel
by gojohn10 on
Sep 14, 2006 9:40 AM PDT
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How about....
by jjham15 on
Sep 14, 2006 9:42 AM PDT
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I can't believe it hasn't been posted.
by Jennifer on
Sep 14, 2006 9:54 AM PDT
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mkt must not be online yet...
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 9:55 AM PDT
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I'll go add it to the Glossary right now! ;)
by Poppy on
Sep 14, 2006 11:24 PM PDT
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You don't need to hit a home run.
by jeepers on
Sep 14, 2006 9:55 AM PDT
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went on wikipedia to get some enlightenment...
Personal life
In December 2004, Lima was successfully sued by a woman who claimed she had contracted genital herpes from him. Faced with counts of assault and negligence, Lima may owe the woman as much as $950,000. He claims to have contracted the incurable disease while on vacation in the Dominican Republic.
anyway, how about "bigger than my husband's ERA."
now i feel all dirty.
by The Eternal Optimist on
Sep 14, 2006 10:22 AM PDT
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This is the essence
by jeepers on
Sep 14, 2006 11:11 AM PDT
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"And so...
by emperor nobody on
Sep 14, 2006 10:51 AM PDT
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My list
" Do my shoes match?"
"They're financed"
by rook on
Sep 14, 2006 10:53 AM PDT
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How bout:
by oaktownmario on
Sep 14, 2006 10:59 AM PDT
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Since he bought a dress....
WEAR IT!
Love,
Mel
by salb918 on
Sep 14, 2006 11:03 AM PDT
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Does it even matter what she writes on it??
by BlameChannel53 on
Sep 14, 2006 11:51 AM PDT
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if it does matter . . .
Cost of pitcher with 6.23 E.R.A. -- $4.8 million
Cost of ticket to view speech -- $26
Trophy wife with vacuous look and bazoombas -- priceless.
by BlameChannel53 on
Sep 14, 2006 11:55 AM PDT
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How About:
Tonto has nothing on you.
From all of US,
Melissa
by Colorado Fan on
Sep 14, 2006 12:21 PM PDT
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How about this...
Enclosed is my business card.
Melissa Lima
For hire as a professional attention diversion during ghastly National Anthem renditions.
Thanks,
Mel
by franks a lot on
Sep 14, 2006 12:29 PM PDT
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Melissa:
by streetfan on
Sep 14, 2006 12:42 PM PDT
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The kid says,
"Mommy, I know the players grab their crotches in games, but why are all the men in the stands doing it too?"
by Scottbass on
Sep 14, 2006 1:24 PM PDT
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The Gilbert and Sullivan inscription
by jeepers on
Sep 14, 2006 1:37 PM PDT
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how about...
"You can put 'em on the board..... YES!!!!"
You've been great, I'm out!
by ChavyFan03 on
Sep 14, 2006 1:45 PM PDT
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Herpes!
by secret ASian man on
Sep 14, 2006 7:30 PM PDT
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sign it....
"the camera adds ten D's"
love, melissa
by Eric in Atlanta on
Sep 14, 2006 8:06 PM PDT
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btw...
is he wearing an ear piece? so he doesn't forget the words? olympians could use that.
by Eric in Atlanta on
Sep 14, 2006 8:07 PM PDT
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Bring Back Twin Peaks!
by gdub171 on
Sep 14, 2006 10:34 PM PDT
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