Baby Winexp, Special Heart Attack Edition

Because we can all laugh about the game now, right?  I was lucky enough to be on BART for the minutes of terror, but it was funny as hell to read the last AN game thread, which had everything I love about AN... People going into group cardiac arrest without acting like jerks.

Without further ado, I present a dramatic walkthrough of the last half-inning, with Baby Winexp and actual AN commentary.  

Bot10.0. R:-2. B:. (0.924)  Teams in history with a two-run lead into the bottom of the ninth or extra innings have won the vast vast majority of the time (92.4% of the time!). It's a true sign of a traumatized fan base that we respond as follows...

A's now up 6-4.  Joe Kennedy on to try and shut the door and pick up an unlikely win. (Blez)
<Holds breath>  Cmon!  (510inDenver)

Bot10.0. R:-2. B:. Jimenez flied out to left (0.041, -0.035) Now throw in a free out and the Rangers' winning chances are 3.5%.

1 out!   (gotgreen)
2 outs to go   (FireballerHARDEN)
new thread, but Kennedy still sucks   (Poppy)
C'mon Joe. Please. PLEEEEEASE.   (Chavinator)
Is anyone breathing?    (Sharon)
No.  I'm cerulean blue.  (Chavinator)
nope  i'm really close to passing out (AmazingAs)
No.   (AsGirl)
oh man...  3-0 to Matthews (OaktownPower)
Here we go THROW STRIKES here we go <clap>    (McFood)

Bot10.1. R:-2. B:. Gary Matthews Jr. singled to shallow left center (0.095, +0.054) Texas has life again. 9.5% of the time the home team can comeback from a 2-run deficit and a runner on with 1 out. I find that surprisingly high, actually.

Base hit...  Ugh, now MY and Teix (OaktownPower)
Wouldn't Duke get the W?  and Kennedy would get the Save?  (Chavez4Prez)
Yes, except we HAVE TO WIN    (baseballgirl)
this game is not good for our health   (gotgreen)
Aaaaaigh  <covers eyes> (Chavinator)
just setting up the dp, right?   (benvenut)

Bot10.1. R:-2. B:1. Michael Young singled to right, Matthews to second (0.186, +0.091)

Shit...  2 on for Teix (OaktownPower)
2 on, 1 out  for tex.barf.  (gotgreen)
I think I'll wait until after the game  before I have any more caffeine. I'm going to have a heart attack.  (bbnewbie)
you and both    (baseballgirl)
Argh!  C'mon, we got this! DP NOW! (misfit toy)
I can't BREATHE.   (GreenSocks)
<gets O2 mask ready>   (AmazingAs)
Wheres my Nitro Pills?  ........  (510inDenver)
<gets nitro pills ready>   (AmazingAs)
Nightmare. Nightmare. Nightmare.  Why, Joe? Please. WHY?  (Chavinator)
<barf>   (Jennifer)
<holds jennifer's hair back>  me next!  (AmazingAs)
Dear GOD  This game is going to kill me.  (Blez)
Why did you have to start this thread?!  Can we go back to the previous one?  :P  (Poppy)
haha  are we going thread hopping?  (AmazingAs)
I know....  exactly how you feel.Oh god.  (Chavinator)
{stops focusing on game entirely}   (Poppy)
2-0 to Teix...  Closing eyes  (OaktownPower)
<goes insane>   (FireballerHARDEN)
I miss Huston  (franks a lot)
Teix kills Huston.   (Chavinator)
C'mon Poppy!  H8R mojo!  (AsGirl)
No! I'm afraid!  It keeps backfiring!  (Poppy)
those are ... NACHO RUNS!!!   (monkeyball)
<whimper>  <hides under desk>  (baseballgirl)
is there room for one more?   (AmazingAs)
2-2 count  Cmon Joe!  (OaktownPower)
I am going to die  way before 2083.  (Jennifer)
These fouls  are nerve racking (OaktownPower)
Anyone watching the game?  Are they really trying to bust him inside?  (Blez)
VERY much..every pitch   (OaktownPower)
How can this be happening?  Need a DP so bad... (BruceBochte)
OMG  3-2 to teixera (gotgreen)
Full count..  Man, every game we play is tense (OaktownPower)
My arm is going numb...   (misfit toy)
I can't take this!  <thud> (Jennifer)
hee hee hoooooo  hee hee hooooo  (Sharon)

Bot10.1. R:-2. B:12. Mark Teixeira struck out swinging (0.094, -0.092)

K!!!!   (AsGirl)
k!!!!!   (OaktownPower)
whew!  (high street)
Whoo! Huuuuuuge K!!!  2 down!  (bbnewbie)
Huff Puff!  One more, just one freakin' more... (misfit toy)
I need to start taking lamaze classes.    (Sharon)
OHH  YEEEEEEEEZSSSSs!!!!!!!  (Chavinator)
okay  now we gotta get nevin out!!!  (gotgreen)
Man  <flashbacks to Inge's at-bat> (Blez)
AHHHHH!!!!   (Jennifer)
What a great change to Teix  Gulp, now Nevin (OaktownPower)
Big K  One more to go <ducks to avoid flying chair> (JLeverenz)
oh my god, I just let out a little shriek  (at the office) (Poppy)
I think I have broken  through and gotten into the comfortably numb territory...weeks earlier than last season...immune to disappointment. (alaska A)
22 Pitches for 2 outs.....   (510inDenver)
Oxygen tank....  I need it.  (AsGirl)
I can't breathe. I can't.  I'm shaking.  (Chavinator)
please don't let Mench hit   (FireballerHARDEN)
Man..3-1 count. Gulp   (OaktownPower)
3-1 to nevin   (gotgreen)
Geez...   (AsGirl)
FULL COUNT AGAIN  argh. my heart!  (gotgreen)
3-2, 2 Outs...... 2 runners on.....  <hides under desk> (510inDenver)
What day is this?  Where am I? What happened to my pants?  (Jennifer)

Bot10.2. R:-2. B:12. Phil Nevin walked, Matthews to third, Young to second (0.203, +0.109)
Bot10.2. R:-2. B:123. Adam Hyzdu ran for Phil Nevin (0.203, +0.000)

Bases Loaded for Blalock  UGH (OaktownPower)
OMFG  BASES LOADED!!!!!  (gotgreen)
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!  AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.<FAINTS> (AsGirl)
[at this point, AN.com explodes and goes offline for a couple of minutes]
Apparently....  Neither could the server!  (510inDenver)

Bot10.2. R:-2. B:123. Hank Blalock flied out to right (0.000, -0.203)

Did he just say the A's win?  Holy <censored>.   (GreenSocks)
{bursts into tears of exhausted relief}   (Poppy)
My god! We won?!!?!?!?!?!?  NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!!  (baseballgirl)
Woot!  Boy I'm kind of glad that I had to miss much of this game.  It sounds like it was unnerving. (GreenNGoldSooner)

---

Top Five Plays
Apr 26, 2006.  Top 9.0. R:-1. B:. P: Francisco Cordero. Dan Johnson homered to center (0.482, +0.355)
Apr 26, 2006.  Top10.1. R: 0. B:23. P: C.J. Wilson. Jay Payton singled to center, Swisher and Chavez scored (0.949, +0.299)
Apr 26, 2006. Bot 4.1. R:-1. B:123. P: Kiko Calero. Kevin Mench homered to left center, Young, Teixeira and Blalock scored (0.888, +0.262)
Apr 26, 2006. Bot10.2. R:-2. B:123. P: Joe Kennedy. Hank Blalock flied out to right (0.000, -0.203)
Apr 26, 2006.  Top 6.2. R:-3. B:1. P: Kameron Loe. Bobby Crosby homered to left center, Payton scored (0.251, +0.173)

Player Contributions
OAK Dan Johnson     +0.362  4  
OAK Frank Thomas    +0.219  4  
OAK J Duchscherer*  +0.157  7  
OAK Jay Payton      +0.111  6  
OAK Bobby Crosby    +0.111  6  
OAK Brad Halsey*    +0.094  12  
OAK Joe Kennedy*    +0.076  7  
OAK Nick Swisher    +0.013  6  
OAK Eric Chavez     +0.005  5  
OAK Rich Harden*    -0.018  14  
OAK Antonio Perez   -0.019  2  
OAK Jason Kendall   -0.104  4  
OAK Mark Ellis      -0.107  4  
OAK Mark Kotsay     -0.109  5  
OAK Kiko Calero*    -0.249  4  

TEX Kevin Mench     +0.223  4  
TEX Michael Young   +0.166  5  
TEX Joaquin Benoit* +0.119  4  
TEX Ron Mahay*      +0.092  4  
TEX Phil Nevin      +0.075  5  
TEX Drew Meyer      +0.013  3  
TEX G Matthews Jr.  +0.008  6  
TEX Adam Hyzdu      +0.000  1  
TEX Kameron Loe*    -0.027  28  
TEX Jimenez         -0.035  1  
TEX Mark Teixeira   -0.106  5  
TEX Adrian Brown    -0.120  4  
TEX Hank Blalock    -0.142  5  
TEX Gerald Laird    -0.142  5  
TEX Franc Cordero*  -0.224  4  
TEX C.J. Wilson*    -0.442  6  

It doesn't seem fair that Joe K gets a +0.076 for his terrifying "save", but in the end, Baby Winexp only cares that he got the job done in the end.

Whew!