Chavez Should Walk In Mexican Shoes First

by wonderbread74 on Feb 16, 2006 9:53 PM PST

Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen hates American ballplayers of distant Latin descent jockeying for spots in next month's World Baseball Classic, especially the Yankees' Alex Rodriguez.

I hate hypocrites: He's full of shit, said Guillen in Sports Illustrated. The Dominican team doesn't need his ass. It's the same with [Nomar] Garciaparra playing for Mexico. Garciaparra only knows Cancun because he went to visit.

If Rodriguez and Garciaparra's foreign credential are suspect, then what about Oakland's Eric Chavez and his quest to play for Mexico after being left off the United States' 30-man roster Tuesday.

It could be said that Chavez's knowledge of his Mexican heritage consists of knowing the intrinsic differences between a chalupa and a gordita at the local Taco Bell.

Born into a middle-class Southern California upbringing and sheepishly aware of his inability to speak Spanish despite his Latin surname, decisions like Chavez's threaten to undermine the spirit and future of this tournament.

The main idea, despite creating a cash cow, was to merge baseball and patriotism in the same way that the FIFA World Cup energizes the soccer world every four years.

This competition is devoid of any patriotism thus far. Guys like Rodriguez, Garciaparra and Chavez are Americans and should, if given the opportunity, feel obliged to put on that uniform.

What Chavez is doing is akin to a teenager looking for a new high school after being cut from the varsity team. In this case, Chavez is attempting to look for another country and that act is unpatriotic.

If he desires to play for Mexico he should pull up stakes in his cushy East Bay home, learn how to speak Spanish and move to Mexico City. While there, he should walk those streets and witness the poverty and empty eyes of its inhabitants. If he did that, then maybe becoming Mexican for two weeks just to get some quality at-bats in mid-March will seem quite hallow.

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Comments

chavez should move out of the east bay

and move to mexico city so he can witness the poverty there?

geez, the guy just wants to play some competitive baseball!

"you know it's way cooler to be an A's fan" - billy beane to larry krueger

by gotgreen on Feb 16, 2006 10:02 PM PST 0 recs

No heart, AND he should be tried for treason!

Just because ArakSOT insists: MaElLuvR

by Poppy on Feb 16, 2006 10:09 PM PST up 0 recs

Damn Right...

Chavy should be playing for the Guantanamo team, if you know what I mean.

The Higher Pie

by HigherPie on Feb 17, 2006 12:18 AM PST up 0 recs

I don't care

If Chavez wants to play for Mexico or not. I just want to see some ball... I am like a junkie lookin for a fix.

by IM4Oakgal on Feb 16, 2006 10:12 PM PST 0 recs

There is no one I deslike in baseball

more than Ozzie Guillen. I think he is such a piece of garbage. He got lucky with a hot pitching staff and road them to a WS victory..Now we have to hear his spout his crap because he thinks peopel care. I hoep the White Sox get lit all year.

Bring back Hammer.

by OaktownPower on Feb 16, 2006 10:30 PM PST 0 recs

I'm pretty sure Eric Chavez

doesn't make judgments about my cultural identity, and I'm sure not going to make judgments about his.

by Nico on Feb 16, 2006 10:44 PM PST 0 recs

Hold On!

You're Nico from the fake butter commercial. Eric Chavez is a public figure. Anyone is free to analyze and judge him. That's the trade-off with fame and fortune.

If you're the vice president of the U.S. and you blast someone with birdshot on your free time, then it's our business to know what you did. If you do it, then it's between your you, your family and the authorities.

by wonderbread74 on Feb 16, 2006 10:50 PM PST up 0 recs

You're free to judge Chavez,

but that won't make it right. Just as I'm free to think that Yabu drives badly because he's Asian, but that won't make it true.

And I think you have me mixed up with the Jason Kendall character in those commercials for I Can't Believe He's Not Better.

by Nico on Feb 16, 2006 10:55 PM PST up 0 recs

Good one

Kendall does have that same rugged look as that actor, but wait!

Chavez can't become Mexican for a few weeks because it defeats the whole purpose of the competition. The integrity of the WBC will be completely lost if every player scorned by their country has their DNA tested for the requisite participating country.

Besides, if you use the World Cup model, only third-rate soccer players jump from their logical national teams for an easy spot on another less-talented squad.

Former U.S. national team player, Thomas Dooley, was a servicable German player who couldn't find a spot on the national team, so he used his American father's bloodline to get a spot on the mediocre American World Cup teams of 1994 and 1998.

The point is, Chavez is a first-rate thirdbasemen and should earn his spot on the U.S. squad.

by wonderbread74 on Feb 16, 2006 11:04 PM PST up 0 recs

or.

Mike Piazza pretending to be Italian.

Or.

AndrEw Jones pretending to be Dutch.

Etc. Etc.

With 21 bombs in his rookie year, look for 42 jacks in '06, and 105 round trippers by 2009. - Baseball-Reference.Com

by NicksDreamy on Feb 17, 2006 10:37 AM PST up 0 recs

Uh

AndrUw Jones is from Curacao, a Dutch possession. Would you ban Tim Duncan from playing for the US Dream Team?

by OaktownTribesman on Feb 17, 2006 6:19 PM PST up 0 recs

duh.

Puerto Rico is a US possession. Should we rip that team up and place those players in American uniforms?

It's entirely false to think that AndrEw Jones is Dutch.

But that's the way this thing is run. My point was that there's probably at least one player on each team who coulda/shoulda/woulda played for another nation given the flimsy rules... ragging on Chavy just because he wants to get some at-bats for the Mexican national team is really silly.

With 21 bombs in his rookie year, look for 42 jacks in '06, and 105 round trippers by 2009. - Baseball-Reference.Com

by NicksDreamy on Mar 7, 2006 3:42 PM PST up 0 recs

Chavez playing for Mexico...

..is not the same as shooting a man, you twonk.

How dare you make a snap judgement on how much or little this guy knows about his heritage? And how dare you tell him to walk a mile in poverty before he can lay claim to his ancestral background? Does he stop being Latino because he lives 200 miles north of the place? Does he stop being Latino because he has money? Or because he doesn't vacation in slum pits?

Who the hell are YOU to tell him what he can and cannot represent? How much of your wages have YOU given to cure Mexican poverty?

Just because he's famous doesn't give you carte blanche to decide whether he's 'Mexican enough' to play for the country. People far more qualified than you will make such decisions, which leaves you looking like nothing more than a whiny wannabe with a jealous streak.

Man, as if a guy named Chavez didn't have to deal with enough crap from white folks growing, now he's got to take more from Latinos?

Shame on you.

by Ozzz on Feb 16, 2006 11:00 PM PST up 0 recs

Bleeding Heart A's Fans

What's wrong with you. You don't think you're taking the analogy a bit too literally.

The point was that Nico can't act like Captain P.C. here. Chavez is a public figure.

You should troll the internet for a few and find that Chavez's upbringing is a known fact.

Besides, the fact that he's talking about playing for Mexico the day after the U.S. gave him shaft doesn't seem like a dead giveaway that he's not playing "for" Mexico, but using their national team for his own purposes.

The two of you should start opening your eyes and analytical minds instead talking about your feelings. Go watch softball, instead.

by wonderbread74 on Feb 16, 2006 11:14 PM PST up 0 recs

Because analytical minds....

...and broad generalizations go together like chocolate-covered steak.

Darn them liberal, bleedin' heart, pinko A's fans, I tell you. Darn them back to their diversity-havin', hippy-lovin', import-car drivin' left coast ways. What do they think they're living in, anyway, California?

Freaks.

by sarchasmic on Feb 17, 2006 7:12 AM PST up 0 recs

You're shitting me, right?

Dick Cheney is the Vice President of the United States of America. His job is to represent the American people and do our work and is responsible to us. Eric Chavez is a baseball player. His job is to play baseball. He has no responsibility to us or anyone else.

You should get a life and realize that three paragraphs on espn.com have about as much to do with reality as does anything the comes out of our Vice President's mouth.

He's not Mexican enough for you? Well why don't you tell us a few very brief facts about yourself so we can spit on that. You read a few articles, so you think you know a guy. He's a baseball player, you're a baseball fan - he owes you nothing more than playing baseball as best he can. If you want an idol to worship, at least find yourself one who can lay off the slider low and away ... that and get a life.

Check out some awesome music ...

by devo on Feb 17, 2006 8:59 AM PST up 0 recs

How do you know

Chavez "took crap from white folks" growing up??!! How do you know he didn't take crap from Asian folks, or black folks, or Puerto Rican folks??? You fall into the same racist stereo-types everyone else does .... I'm "white folk" and I never gave Chavez crap because of his name ..... now, his anemic batting average? That's a whole 'nother deal!

VacaAsFan

by Vacafan on Feb 17, 2006 12:38 PM PST up 0 recs

perhaps Chavez AVG is like that ...

... because he took crap from anemic folks growing up?

Are you suggesting that Joan Baez and I share a basement apartment in Milwaukee? - Poppy @('.')@

by monkeyball on Feb 17, 2006 2:21 PM PST up 0 recs

Oh please.

I'm so SURE Chavez never took crap from a white kid growing up.

Hell, I'm anglo-saxon in heritage and have been called an 'f'ing arab' when I had a great suntan.

Get down off your high (white) horse, dufus.

by Ozzz on Feb 17, 2006 5:34 PM PST up 0 recs

Look man,

easy on the name-calling. I never said he didn't "take crap" .... I'm asking you how you're sure that an affluent, upper-middle class kid who went to a suburban high school took abuse from "white folk." If you don't know that to be the case, then don't presuppose it.
Is this somehow offensive to you? Sorry to have the audacity to take issue with your comments, but I thought that was what this forum is for ...who's the one on the high (white) horse??

VacaAsFan

by Vacafan on Feb 17, 2006 5:53 PM PST up 0 recs

I'll tell you who.

The white guy that thinks there's a single Latino person in the USA who didn't take crap from at least one white guy at some point during their youth.

I'm a white guy, and I took shit for being 'dark' many times. I'm gonna go right ahead and assume that Eric chavez did likewise, ESPECIALLY if he grew up in a middle class area.

by Ozzz on Feb 17, 2006 9:59 PM PST up 0 recs

Nico

Best comment of the night.

Simple. Beautiful. Effective.

by Blez on Feb 16, 2006 11:00 PM PST up 0 recs

Actually, Nico

I was talking with Eric Chavez the other day and, well, you aren't from Holland are you?

Matt, who honestly wasn't suprised to hear of Chavez' hatred of the Dutch

Best Barry In The Bay Area.

by TwistNHook on Feb 17, 2006 10:09 AM PST up 0 recs

I'm not Dutch,

but I will confess that when I go out to dinner, I sometimes like to split the bill evenly.

by Nico on Feb 17, 2006 5:40 PM PST up 0 recs

Give him a chance . . .

Your attack on Chavez is a bit unfounded for a few reasons:
1. The idea that because Chavez is "middle class" and knows nothing about the poverty of Mexico, that he is not a real Mexican.
Response: Last time I checked, Mexico and Mexico City have residents with some of the largest concentration of wealth in the world. People are poor in Mexico - among other reasons - because of this extreme centralization of capital. Many Mexican presidents, including the current one, come from ridiculously wealthy families that send their kids to Harvard and Yale. So would you be equally harsh of a Mexican ballplayer from Mexico City that come from a rich family? I don't think so.
2. Your assumption that Chavez needs to go to Mexico too know anything about Mexicans.
Response: There a millions of Mexicans in the US, with the largest concentration in California, including Chavez' native San Diego. You don't need to go to Mexico to see poor Mexicans, and therefore to understand and care for Mexicans. [Oh, and your statement that Chavez should see "the empty eyes of its inhabitants" is problematic, if not racial/racist. There are many groups here and in Mexico fighting poverty, and refusing to be labeled victims. See e.g. www.ezln.org.mx and www.ufw.org]

3. Your idea that Chavez needs to learn Spanish to be Mexican.
Response: Mexico is inhabited by millions of indigenous people that do not speak Spanish, the language of imperialism in Latin America for hundreds of years. Are these people not Mexican?

These points suffice to show your attack is simply a poor judgment on someone we do not really know. Is Chavez a pocho? Probably. [Pocho is a sometimes negative, sometimes matter of fact term for someone in the US who is of Mexican descent, but is disconnected from his roots]. I don't think Eric would deny he's a pocho. But his father is Mexican and so are his grandparents. From a simple "racial" (whatever that means) standpoint, he is Mexican and under WBC rules he is allowed to represent Mexico.

I for one would like to see him play for Mexico. On top of the selfish reasons we have as A's fans for this, it just might be the thing that gets Chavez to know a little more about his heritage, and to make a stronger connection with his roots. . . and that would be a good thing. After all, it's never to late to learn or to change. Give him a chance.

by oaktownmario on Feb 16, 2006 11:19 PM PST 0 recs

let me add #4 to your litany of reasons

The presumption that the WBC is attempting patriotic loyalty like World Coup soccer doesn't really hold water. Many of the World Cup player's loyalty and credentials for the countries they represent in World Cup is suspect. The African teams are full of players that grew up in Europe, as is team USA. Very few of our World Cup team come from a background of growing up in US kids club soccer programs. Most grew up playing overseas (becuase that is where they are from) and play professionally overseas - and many would play from their "other" home country if they could make the team.

by iceplant on Feb 17, 2006 10:15 AM PST up 0 recs

You're Completely Wrong.

Here comes a list of US-born soccer stars:

Landon Donovan, Kasey Keller, Claudio Reyna, Taylor Twellman, Chris Klein, DeMarcus Beasley...I'm too tired to basically named the entire roster.

Apparentlly, who haven't watched US soccer since 1994.

Also, most African players are not from Europe. You have it backwards, bro. They're born in Africa and find vast riches playing for European clubs.

If the WBC isn't about patriotism for one's country then what is it for? Let's dispense with the national teams and have them play for their own cities. Oh, that called the MLB regular season.

by wonderbread74 on Feb 17, 2006 7:15 PM PST up 0 recs

Facts

Yeah, scratch #4 - Most of the US Soccer Team was born in the United States. When I say most, I'm saying 95%+ were born and raised in the US.

June 19th - June 21st, 2006 ** Oakland Athletics @ Colorado Rockies ** Lets Go Oak-Land!

by Colorado Fan on Feb 18, 2006 10:04 AM PST up 0 recs

Whatever

It's still the WBC, and I still don't care.

Whether he plays for the US or Mexico, my initial concern is for Chavez's shoulder, not his 'cultural identity'.

Though I'm actually starting to wonder if this might be a good thing, if just so that it's that many fewer spring training games Chavez will spend playing next to the Human Wrecking Ball at shortstop.

"[Your blog is] pretty funny. Although I kinda wanna slap Charlie in the mouth. But I guess that's the point if you're an A's fan :-)" Blez

by Nate on Feb 16, 2006 11:48 PM PST 0 recs

I'm confused.

I was born in South Korea. I lived there for five years before moving to the States. My mother is Korean, and my father is American.

I DON'T speak Hangul. I mean, I literally forgot everything while learning to speak English.

So, am I Korean enough to play for said country? Furthermore, can I look at my own brother and sister (they were not born in S. Korea) and tell them that I'm more Korean than they are? Would we play for separate teams?

Or am I not Korean enough because I don't speak the language?

Also, I feel that the "fame and fortune is a trade-off for being freely analyzed and judged" way of thinking is an excuse for someone who likes to judge people. I don't care if that's how it is these days, it's still wrong.

"How much room do I have to cover out here?" -- Kotsay

by Sharon on Feb 17, 2006 3:47 AM PST 0 recs

it depends

what country were your shoes manufactured in?

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Feb 17, 2006 4:48 AM PST up 0 recs

Citizenship.....

Half Korean - half white? You must be a cutie. :) I'm half Filipino - half white, born in a miltary hospital in the Philipines which means I was born an American citizen.

The WBC is about COUNTRIES, NOT HERITAGE. It's not the asians vs. the latinos vs. whitey vs....you get the point. I feel that players should be placed on teams based on citizenship, not heritage. Of course, being the "melting pot" of cultures, the US has the advantage.

Anyone watch ESPN when it was commented on A-Rod that he's probably never even been to Mexico other than Cancun. I was LMAO.

That is all.

by djcoreyferren on Feb 17, 2006 10:33 AM PST up 0 recs

But as it stands,

the WBC isn't based on the citizenship of the players. So there's nothing wrong with what Chavy is doing. When the rules are set up to allow him to choose based on his heritage, how can anyone fault him for doing just that?

I don't understand the strong reactions to players choosing who they want to play for when THAT'S WHAT THE RULES ALLOW. The way the media is handling the A-Rod story is disgusting to me.

"How much room do I have to cover out here?" -- Kotsay

by Sharon on Feb 17, 2006 10:48 AM PST up 0 recs

Ozzie Guillen

That was Ozzie Guillen spouting off...he said that about Nomar Garciaparra.

June 19th - June 21st, 2006 ** Oakland Athletics @ Colorado Rockies ** Lets Go Oak-Land!

by Colorado Fan on Feb 18, 2006 10:07 AM PST up 0 recs

chavy's shoes

who hasn't walked in mexican shoes?

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on Feb 17, 2006 4:47 AM PST 0 recs

Easy buddy

You're in mixed company here.

Copernicus felt the same way about the geocentric crew.

by salb918 on Feb 17, 2006 5:10 AM PST up 0 recs

Hay - I am in Chinese shoes today!!!!

I know I have some Malaysian and Costa Rican shoes---I don't think I have any Mexican shoes.
I know I have zero American shoes ---those were the good old days when you could walk in American shoes.

by Carerra on Feb 17, 2006 9:05 AM PST up 0 recs

Personally ...

I'm wearing Italian shoes today ...

Check out some awesome music ...

by devo on Feb 17, 2006 11:40 AM PST up 0 recs

So you're essentially

blaming Chavez for being raised in an anglo manner, while being surrounded by (likely) nothing but white people his entire childhood, and then making a small attempt to embrace his heritage later in life? I commend him for his effort to recognize his ethnicity. Maybe you should complain about larger issues (like assimilation, or southern california), rather than attack someone's upbringing of which you have no knowledge about.

by JCase on Feb 17, 2006 7:48 AM PST 0 recs

Do you commend...

him for latching onto his Mexican roots the day after the US team dumped him?

Wake up, A's fans.

by wonderbread74 on Feb 17, 2006 7:19 PM PST up 0 recs

In other words,

he really wants to be part of it. What a jerk.

Go to sleep, A's fans.

by Nico on Feb 17, 2006 7:48 PM PST up 0 recs

Who cares?

I still don't see why people are getting their panties in a wad over this.

"Put a Milo on him." -Billy Beane

by kaweahkaweah on Feb 17, 2006 7:57 AM PST 0 recs

For some of us,

I think it's just any excuse to wear panties.

by Nico on Feb 17, 2006 8:14 AM PST up 0 recs

Which, as we discussed...

...is strictly a comfort thing.

by sarchasmic on Feb 17, 2006 8:16 AM PST up 0 recs

Especially

for my middle testicle.

by Nico on Feb 17, 2006 8:30 AM PST up 0 recs

Smithers?

the great playoff miss of 2004 followed by the good try of 2005 with no more hex in 2006.

by ak_A on Feb 17, 2006 8:37 AM PST 0 recs

what I take from Chavvy wanting to play for Mexico

Is that he's just really excited about the WBC. And is that really a bad thing? After months of the A-rod crap (yes I'll play, on second thought maybe no, wait just a minute I think I will, then again perhaps not) I find it kind of nice that he just really wants to be a part of it and if he can't play for his US team, he will gladly play for another team that he would be eligible for. If the WBC set up the rules that one is eligible based on parent's immediate heritage why is he suddenly wrong for taking advantage of those rules? This doesn't exactly seem like one of those "well, I'd love to get financial aid for college so let me figure out I might possibly be 1/574th Navajo" deals. I don't hear you giving Danny Haren crap for being put on the Dutch roster when he didn't even know he had any Dutch heritage (or maybe it was Saarloos--you get my point.)

"Don't be an ass!" --Bill King

by batgirl on Feb 17, 2006 10:50 AM PST 0 recs

chavez might play for the USA after all

from si.com

Chipper Jones might withdraw from the upcoming World Baseball Classic. His 18-month-old son, Shea, had a serious intestinal virus and was in and out of an Atlanta hospital for a month. The toddler's condition has improved and stabilized, but Jones wants to make sure Shea is OK before deciding whether to go to Phoenix March 2 for the start of the United States' team training camp.

"you know it's way cooler to be an A's fan" - billy beane to larry krueger

by gotgreen on Feb 17, 2006 11:26 AM PST 0 recs

sheesh...

I think the WBC is just an excuse to make money for its organizers.

I really don't care about watching MLB players compete in meaningless exhibition games against players I don't know from other countries.

I think the risk of injury is too great for MLB players who have yet to start the 2006 season where something REAL like a pennant or World Series trophy is at stake.

I think the WBC rules for determining team memberships such as, if you have a grandparent from the Netherlands you can play for that team or whatever, is downright silly. There's something un-American about it to me.

Thank goodness for AN and other places on the Internet where we can debate these things without judging one another by the color of our skin, any implied ethnicity in our real names, and whatever cultural or racial heritage we happen to have because our moms and our dads had us in a certain geographic location at a certain time.

Argh! When the heck is Opening Day?!?

I have faith.

by BillybUcko on Feb 17, 2006 11:51 AM PST 0 recs

It's a non-issue

except for Xenophobes! If someone doesn't like the rules, lobby the decision makers to change them. Oh yeah! That would be a lot harder than just bitchin to each other.

by IM4Oakgal on Feb 17, 2006 7:08 PM PST 0 recs

It`s baseball. Not politics.

You can pretend the WBC has anything to do with Global race relations, but it doesn`t. It`s the World Spring Training Classic, don`t the pitch counts make that clear?

by SuperDingus on Feb 17, 2006 7:25 PM PST 0 recs

Jeez

So Chavez is really excited about playing and genuinely wants to take part in the WBC. Not chosen by the US, he continues to explore the possibility. By any racial measuring stick, he is Mexican far more than Danny Haren, for example, is Dutch. And this is such a bad thing because?

And he hasn't even been chosen by Mexico. He just said he'd be willing to play for them because he's keeping his options open.

Get on Chavez for slow starts, batting average, whatever your little heart desires... but don't criticize him for being passionate about the game and wanting to play it.

On the other hand, the early worm gets eaten.

by Chavinator on Feb 17, 2006 8:22 PM PST 0 recs

Wow,

Why do people feel that they have the right/duty to decide for Eric Chavez what his ethnic loyalties should be. It's incredible. He grew up in San Diego....this may come as a shock to a great many folks, but there is a TON of middle class, brown skinned, AMERICAN kids there. It's most likely that he played ball with, and ran around with whites/latins like most kids there do. I would imagine that Chavez would be as lost trying to navigate the streets of Mexico city as I would be navigating the streets of Belgrade. And by the way, Chavez may be "ethnically" a descendent of Mexican extraction, but racially, he is Caucasion...which means he is whitey. So, Chavez is, "THE MAN".....so all this time he's been sticking it to himself. DAMMIT.

"You may glory in a team triumphant, but you fall in love with a team in defeat."--The Boys of Summer

by alox on Feb 17, 2006 8:34 PM PST 0 recs

Not people, person.

Check out some awesome music ...

by devo on Feb 19, 2006 10:34 AM PST up 0 recs

While I find this diary highly problematic on a

number of levels, this line is absolutely priceless:

"It could be said that Chavez's knowledge of his Mexican heritage consists of knowing the intrinsic differences between a chalupa and a gordita at the local Taco Bell."

That had me in stitches!

"Macha, Howe...whatever." --salb918

by BruceBochte on Feb 18, 2006 1:04 PM PST 0 recs

alternative to WBC

which will never happen. Like soccer has a Champions Cup, I'd like to see the winners of the national baseball championships from various leagues play each other in a global championship. I personally think exhibitions which bring teams together only for a couple of weeks are pretty pointless. I'd rather see the best teams play each other.

by Apricot on Feb 18, 2006 3:02 PM PST 0 recs

You want to argue about this

or do you want to watch Mark McGwire hit some dingers?

Copernicus felt the same way about the geocentric crew.

by salb918 on Feb 18, 2006 6:25 PM PST up 0 recs

MLB is watching us

from satellites in the sky. Put on your tin foil hatz!!!

by hunter on Feb 18, 2006 11:50 PM PST up 0 recs

the rules are ridiculous, here's a better idea

I say that a prerequisite for eligibility should be witnessed participation in some cultural event in the country one wishes to represent. So not only does Chavez have to walk in zapatos mexicanos, maybe brave the 7,000 ft+ elevation of the former Tenochtitlan and explore some Aztec ruins in the world's largest city if not the rampant poverty (and take BP, his confidence would be soaring), Haren should, eh, take advantage of the more expansive menus offered by Dutch coffee shops (Starbucks would have no chance if they had to compete with Dutch-style coffee shops on every corner over here...which I'd support, especially since they wouldn't be likely to ever quote Arte Moreno on their "packaging" like Starbucks did), A-Rod should retract his multimillion dollar donation to "da U" and get a garbage-strewn lot that poses as a baseball field in the DR refurbished and named after him instead, Nomar should stop saving people in the Boston Harbor and do some rescuing in everyone's favorite spring break destination instead, Mike Piazza, accompanied by former Cardinal Jason Simontacchi, should go watch an AC Milan-Inter Milan match before Italian football dies off completely, and Andruw Jones should take it upon himself to tell the Dutch government that it's year 2006 CE and that the small, politically meaningless land of Curacao is primed for independence. Then the dominoes really fall, and Javier Vazquez, inspired by the spirit, if not the recently attained American citizenship, of his new manager, takes advantage of American preoccupation with wars in the Middle East and Corpus Christi, TX and leads an insurrection in San Juan, and newly freed Puerto Rico regains the right to the abbreviation "PR" from its much less worthy competitor, Public Relations.

WBC figures out a way to orchestrate all this and the simultaneous PR coup and liberation that would result would sure get me to tune in. The PR Paradox 2006 World Baseball Classic would captivate us all

See, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat. I'm a hunter-gatherer, I kill what I eat. I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat. I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat.

by Cutthemullet on Feb 18, 2006 8:49 PM PST 0 recs

edit

I'm walking in an editor's shoes, even though editors are quite sedentary, and replacing "brave" with "by braving" in the third line

See, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat. I'm a hunter-gatherer, I kill what I eat. I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat. I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat.

by Cutthemullet on Feb 18, 2006 8:59 PM PST up 0 recs

second line

it was the third line as I was posting, or maybe I just wanted to add further confusion to a post that's essentially one long sentence with many obscure references

See, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat. I'm a hunter-gatherer, I kill what I eat. I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat. I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat.

by Cutthemullet on Feb 18, 2006 9:01 PM PST up 0 recs

eh

and by largest city I meant most populous, and that might actually be Tokyo/Calcutta/Sao Paulo/Rio De Janeiro/New Delhi. I can guarantee it's Mexico City or one of those. Hey, if journalists can get by without doing research, why should I

See, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat. I'm a hunter-gatherer, I kill what I eat. I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat. I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat.

by Cutthemullet on Feb 18, 2006 9:22 PM PST up 0 recs

Cutthemullet, if you feel that

one of your replies to yourself has attacked yourself unduly, please don't hesitate to lodge a complaint against yourself, ok?

by Nico on Feb 18, 2006 9:35 PM PST up 0 recs

lol

still had one more reply left in me, CGV may be hearing from me in regards to me shortly

See, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat. I'm a hunter-gatherer, I kill what I eat. I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat. I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat.

by Cutthemullet on Feb 18, 2006 9:36 PM PST up 0 recs

F*ck

it's Tokyo in a landslide, 35 mil to 19 mil (metro area figures)

See, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat. I'm a hunter-gatherer, I kill what I eat. I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat. I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat.

by Cutthemullet on Feb 18, 2006 9:35 PM PST up 0 recs