The Official FIRE MACHA NOW List of Gripes

[editor's note, by Nick86] It seems as if I've confused many ANers with an oft-used deviced known as "sarcasm." For the record, I think Macha is a perfectly capable and effective manager. Please read the entire article (not just the caps) before responding with "Your arguments for criticizing Macha are dumb" or "Boy, you're so right about Macha!" The following is a semi-accurate caricature containing anti-Macha arguments that I have heard too many times on AN.

Ever since Kenneth Edward Macha became manager before the 2003 season, I've hated him. In fact, I've sometimes questioned if he had ever partook in or witnessed a baseball game prior to his 2003 managerial debut.  I've also wondered whether he is the A's manager simply because he is blackmailing Billy Beane, or because Beane wanted a horrific manager so winning the World Series wouldn't be "too easy." Of course, many of you ANers feel the same way, so I decided to make a short lists of complaints I've heard from the various Macha-haters of AN. Here it is:

GRIPE #1: MACHA CHANGES THE BATTING ORDER ALL THE TIME!!!

Macha changes the batting order all the time, which prevents our star players from becoming comfortable in their roles.  One day, Dan Johnson is batting 6th, the next day, he's batting 7th, the next day he's batting 6th again.  How can a player go out and compete if he doesn't know where in the order he's going to hit?  What if he gets confused and forgets to bat at all?  We haven't seen that one yet...no thanks to you, Macha.

GRIPE #2: MACHA NEVER CHANGES THE BATTING ORDER, EVEN WHEN IT'S CLEAR HE SHOULD!!!

Remember when Macha had Kotsay leading off and Kendall hitting second, even though Kotsay is like Barry Bonds out of the two-spot and Lou Merloni leading off?  He finally switched them...but then he refused to hit Ellis first and Kendall ninth?  And even if he DID hit Kendall ninth this year, he would be punishing a gritty, hard-nosed player with a .380 career on base percentage on the brink of figuring it out who came on strong at the end of the year, and we'd STILL HATE HIM!

GRIPE #3: MACHA DOESN'T PINCH HIT, OR USE OUR LEFTY SPECIALIST RINCON!!!

For whatever reason, Macha refuses to put in our lefty specialist(s) against good lefty hitters, even though almost every other manager does.  As a baseball fan, I want to see a lot of mid-inning pitching changes where we substitute in Rincon to get that lefty-lefty advantage against Texeira, Garret Anderson, and other top lefties.

GRIPE #4: MACHA USES RINCON ALL THE TIME, AND OTHER RELIEVERS NOT NAMED DUKE OR STREET

Only an idiot would use a reliever with numbers as bad as Rincon's.  In fact, I don't think I can remember one time in all the games I watched where Rincon didn't blow an A's lead and pick up the loss. Every time Rincon gives up a run, I just say, "Crap, that was Macha's fault." But it's not just Rincon.  Macha last year pitched relievers Jay Witasick, Kiko Calero, Seth Etherton, Ron Flores, Joe Kennedy, and many other relievers not named Ducscherer and Street multiple times!  Every time he did, I cringed!  Even though Ducscherer was third in Innings Pitched among AL relievers last year...he should have been second, and Street should have been first!

GRIPE #5: MACHA NEVER EXECUTES THE HIT AND RUN, EVEN WITH CONTACT HITTER JASON KENDALL

From reading Moneyball, we all know about Billy Beane's fondness for the hit and run. Yet despite this fondness, Macha steadfastly refuses to adhere to his boss's wishes and hit-and-run. Shame on you, Macha.

GRIPE #6: MACHA NEVER PLAYS OUR BENCH PLAYERS, SO WHEN THEY GET IN, THEY STRUGGLE!!

Macha doesn't play our bench players as much as he should, and for whatever reason plays only OUR BEST PLAYERS.  In addition to damaging team morale, it renders our back-ups ineffective.  Macha should be blamed for the struggles of 2002 Al MVP Marco Scutaro, four-time All-Star Keith Ginter, Zeus's nephew Eric Byrnes, and future Hall of Famer Erik Karros.

There you have it: Macha sucks.  He always changes the lineup, he never changes the lineup, he never uses Rincon, he uses Rincon too much, he doesn't hit-and-run, and he only plays our best players. I'm sure there are more areas where Macha needs improvement. Feel free to add your own.