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A FLOATING stadium on the Bay

I have decided that I will not be satisfied with any new stadium unless it is so spectacular that it puts all other new ballparks to shame. I want a grandiose, pushing-the-envelope design.

I want the new A's stadium to be built on a massive, mobile barge-slash-manmade-island in the middle of SF Bay.

Think about it: before gametime, Stadium Island could meander from one central waterfront location to another, picking up fans. The stadium would come to you. They could anchor the stadium in a different spot every night, to take advantage of the variety of the beautiful Bay views. They could rent the stadium out during the offseason and put Hornblower out of business. It would be a massive tourist draw, for the curiosity alone. And it would allow for even more condos (and affiliated small businesses) with spectacular locations. It could even be registered as an overseas vessel under non-US flag, so Stadium Island residents could avoid US taxes and Wolff could install slot machines and craps tables.

I say, think big.

Not convinced? Perhaps some versification will win you over.

Star-divide

The Ballad of Monkeyball

(with apologies to Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

In San Fran Bay did monkeyball
a floating baseball-field decree,
where Beane, the sacred GM, ran
Athletics measurable to man
up to division lead,
so twice an acre of fertile ground
with chalk and bases were girdled round.
and there was bluegrass bright with sinuous swaths,
where scamper'd many a Saarloos-sav-ed mouse.
And brought from forests was wood to make the bats,
With which the Green and Gold would rock the house.

But O! That deep May-April chasm which slanted,
down the standings amidst Joe Morgan's chatter.
Third! Then FOURTH place! Unholy, disenchanted
as AN beneath a whining `toon was haunted
by women wailing for their demon batters.
In came B. Crosby, who ceased the turmoil, swearing,
and half the A's in high-sock'd pants were wearing,
a mighty win-streak momently was forced,
amid whose swift non-intermitted burst,
key base-hits vaulted like rebounding hail,
and Chavvy's bat much like the thresher's flail,
and 'mid the dancing rooks in th' stadium,
did spring up momently the sacred GM.
Two trades pre-deadline made the outlook rosy,
with Wolff and Gap the sacred GM ran.
Then watch'd as Angels bunted, hit-and-ran,
and sank in tumult in a lifeless OC.
And 'mid this tumult monkey heard from ESPN
the Angels' voices prophesying war!

The shadow of the field of baseball
floated midway on the waves
Where was heard the peanut vendors' calls
from the bleachers and "the Waves."
It was a miracle of Billyball
a floating baseball-field worthy of th' Hall.
A damsel with a Strat-O-Mat
in a vision once I saw.
It was an AN High-Socks maid,
and on her Strat-O-Mat she played,
singing of mount Davis.
Could I revive within me
her symphony and song.
To such a deep delight 'twould win me,
that with music loud and long,
I would float that field on th' Bay!
Thy sunny field! Un-shav'd Ken-dall!
and all who fear'd should see Kielty there!
and all should cry, Beware! Beware!
his flashing eyes! his flaming hair!
Build stadium--condos--mayhap a mall,
and close your eyes with holy dread!
for he on monkey-dew hath fed,
and drunk Kool-Aid of Moneyball.

Poll
What's your take on this floating stadium idea?
Dude. "Ballad of Kublai Khan"? Wrong Coleridge poem entirely for this topic (see previous answer for a hint)
6 votes
MAKE MACHA WALK THE PLANK NOW!!!
18 votes
Methinks thee mayhap supped thrice too often from the waters of Lethe
17 votes
The gentle rolling motion of the Bay tides should do wonders for Kotsay's back
15 votes
Let's float that baby up to China Basin and cannonade SBC Park!
63 votes
I'd prefer something more practical, like a stadium on the *Moon* (or Denver, whichever is lower)
8 votes
OK, Poetry Boy, enough with the Classic Comics adaptations of the Western Canon already
2 votes
A waterborne stadium would make it too easy for Lew Wolff to relocate to another coastal or riverine city
9 votes
I'd be too scared that a riptide would suck the stadium out to the South Pacific and strand us on Waponi Wu
3 votes
Only if we're allowed to trade names with the Pittsburgh or Seattle franchise
10 votes

151 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 108 comments

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Comments

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classic
god love you-- the poem was terrific.

"his flashing eyes! his flaming hair"

Great, great stuff.

oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 11:53 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

All praise to Coleridge
That "eyes"/"hair" is the original line -- I just had to fit "Kielty" into the scansion (wedged him in there a bit tightly ... the meter is off, but the beats are still right on).
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:02 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

check out this link
to a floating airport in japan.  this might be mentioned a little later down in the diary, but it's along the lines of what mb is saying but does not move.  

http://www.japaneselifestyle.com.au/travel/kansai_airport.html

by mcbronsh on Aug 4, 2005 2:36 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That is way cool
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 4, 2005 10:01 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

ahhh
"Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner"??

Is that it? A Jamie Moyer poem?

oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 11:55 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

dude, *I* was going to make that joke!
If I weren't playing baseball, I'd be... "in the Ultimate Fighting Championship." -Rich Harden

by xbhaskarx on Aug 3, 2005 12:06 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Bingo!
... however, the Persnickety Line Editor inside of me insists that I point out that it's "Rime" ...
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:07 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i thoughti was wrong about that
Anyhow-- an inspired effort, Monkeyball.

Made my f-ing day.

oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 12:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Amazing...
Another monkey bullseye. We could hire Dirk and Al away from NUMA to protect it too from the millionare with plans to take over the earth.

Fun stuff.

The Baron Davis era has begun.

by rook on Aug 3, 2005 11:56 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Yeah
Who knows, it could make headlines like "A'S HIT ROCK BOTTOM" or "PLAYERS JUMP SHIP AS TEAM SINKS" a little more than simply metaphors...

by OaktownTribesman on Aug 3, 2005 11:56 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

wow.
monkeyball + air = (fill in the blank)
let's go oakland [clapclap clapclapclap]

the a's fan lj community.

by Jjjsixsix on Aug 3, 2005 11:56 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Monkey... I swear...
I was just thinking the same thing!

by ArakSOT on Aug 3, 2005 11:58 AM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

may we all be
they might have been the idiots.

We're the crazies. Or the zanies. Or something.

oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 12:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Arrr!
That's it -- it's the plank for you, lassie!
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:05 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Smack Croaker
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Groats Boater?
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Smoak cracker!
He's not going to sign, you know...

by Ozzz on Aug 3, 2005 12:12 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Excellent!
Damn, right -- he's from South Carolina. Brilliant.
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That would make the A's ...
... Crack Drafters!
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:21 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Crack'd Rafters?
Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Aug 4, 2005 10:27 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

actually
I assume that, in order to pay proper tribute to Coleridge, monkeyball got loaded on opium before writing his masterpiece.
"I can't believe they named someone like Hubert Humphrey after such a dump." - Billy Martin

by andeux on Aug 3, 2005 1:04 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Last straw, Monkeyball
You KNEW, just KNEW I was going to post my idea for an airborne stadium and top it off with an A's-style parody of "Rape of the Lock."  You MUST have known.  And know you go and steal my thunder.  Thanks a LOT monkeyball.  May you rot in peace!
Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Aug 3, 2005 12:14 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Well ...
... you could probably sell Blez on the idea of dredging a broad canal to float the stadium from the Bay up to Sacto -- and have your "Rape of the Lock" parody be a sequel of sorts to "The Ballad of Monkeyball" ...
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 12:18 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

aren't there a lot of Chinese immigrants
who could do all the labor?

So what if a few of them die every now and then.

Sacramento is the capital of the state-- it deserves a team!

oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 12:20 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

wow haha...
thats sorta offensive.
Change is for the better. For both the A's and in life.

by WhiteElephantGuy on Aug 3, 2005 1:34 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Since It's Oaktoon we'll let it slide
He'll change his mind next month anyway.
"I don't care what anyone calls it as long as the umpires call it a strike." ~ Rich Harden, on his "Spluckle Ball"

by almostreggie on Aug 3, 2005 1:41 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Offensive
Being that I'm Chinese American, I find that comment offensive.

by Fongpay on Aug 3, 2005 1:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gosh, i was making that exact point.
Hundreds if not thousands of Chinese Americans died building the railroad over the Sierras. I was obviously using sarcasm-- in honor of that sacrifice-- to make a point about how stupid it would be (although this whole thread has been humurous) to build a canal to Sacramento.

I'm sorry if I offended-- I meant the exact opposite.

oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 4:00 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Too late!
You can't assuage me with your smarmy parentheticals! It's on, baby! I'm now starting work on an entire syllabic reconstruction of Henry Fielding's PAMELA, recasting it with A's players and AN denizens. I shall meet you with it on the field of battle in ... say ... 2010.
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 1:06 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Samuel Richardson's Pamela
or Henry Fielding's Tom Jones. Tom Jones would be better for the lusty Athletics Nation, I should think. Pamela is a smarmy wench who wants to be seduced but is obliged to pretend otherwise -- let's leave her to the Giants.

by Englishmajor on Aug 3, 2005 1:33 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gaaah!
Host on my own petard!
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 1:49 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I believe its "hoisted"
no?
Change is for the better. For both the A's and in life.

by WhiteElephantGuy on Aug 3, 2005 4:11 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Gaaah! II: Typo Boogaloo
Yeesh. You are absofrickinlutely right.

Guess I picked the wrong week to start taking laudanum again.

It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 4:50 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That would worry me ...
since Portland and Sacramento are both on rivers and San Jose is on the bay ... it'd make rule out Las Vegas, though ...
The next time I slap a guy's ass, can we all just assume it's because I wish I was a baseball player?

by devo on Aug 3, 2005 12:30 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

las vegas
is pretty close to the colorado river / hoover dam, isn't it?
If I weren't playing baseball, I'd be... "in the Ultimate Fighting Championship." -Rich Harden

by xbhaskarx on Aug 3, 2005 11:15 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Colorado River
has very little water in it when it makes it to the Gulf of California.
The next time I slap a guy's ass, can we all just assume it's because I wish I was a baseball player?

by devo on Aug 4, 2005 9:35 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Engineering challenge
OK, we'll have to look into re-spec'ing the project if you want something that is not only buoyant and seaworthy, but can also climb up the face of the Hoover Dam.

We could move toward a massive hovercraft concept ...

It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 4, 2005 10:06 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Better idea!
We could figure out a way for it to climb the Rocky Mountains, then, starting at game time, it floats down the river, letting everyone off at Hoover Dam after the game ...
The next time I slap a guy's ass, can we all just assume it's because I wish I was a baseball player?

by devo on Aug 4, 2005 11:09 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

wouldn't that give the visiting team an advantage?
i'm thinking altitude in the top of the first inning vs in the bottom of the ninth.
If I weren't playing baseball, I'd be... "in the Ultimate Fighting Championship." -Rich Harden

by xbhaskarx on Aug 4, 2005 9:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

hmm,
a mobile stadium could be a great homefield advantage. Lets say some hit a bomb to left, well we could move the ship/stadium to kepp the ball in the ark and make it a routine out. This, along with a monkey to PH and resigning Rickey would make the A's unbeatable. :)
No, I do not want to FIRE MACHA NOW, nor do I think Blanton is fat. Now leave me alone.

by pbruins92 on Aug 3, 2005 12:46 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I don't want to be a downer,
but I don't think you could move something as large as an island very quickly.

How would you move it? Oars? Motor? Sails? :)

by Jennifer on Aug 3, 2005 12:55 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The members of AN
would be stashed in a galley, manning the oars, with Blez manning the drumbeat.
Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Aug 3, 2005 12:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

(Duh.)
Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Aug 3, 2005 12:58 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Maybe I can't
But I know somebody who can...

:P

Fearing Mecir since 2000.

by salb918 on Aug 3, 2005 1:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

<gasp>
NO!!

(Why do I suddenly want to watch "Waterworld"?)

by Jennifer on Aug 3, 2005 1:22 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

or ...
... drumming the manbeat?
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 1:07 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Umm...
Billy Beane chair throwing. We can somehow convert his chair smashing energy into a powerful turbine and Viola! A high speed Island/Ballpark.
No, I do not want to FIRE MACHA NOW, nor do I think Blanton is fat. Now leave me alone.

by pbruins92 on Aug 3, 2005 3:27 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Chair thowing energy?
aw, heck, AN could easily do that. <throws chair>

by Squeaky on Aug 3, 2005 3:30 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Domestic Furniture Abuse...
is no laughing matter. ;)

someone else on AN said that, but I forgot who...

No, I do not want to FIRE MACHA NOW, nor do I think Blanton is fat. Now leave me alone.

by pbruins92 on Aug 3, 2005 3:35 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Domestic furniture abuse, huh?
Never thought of it that way, but....Get a huge wheel and have all the fans run in it, like a big hamster wheel. Then, off goes the stadium. Easy as pie.

Let's not mention the problem of HOW we get the fans IN THERE, and how to convince them.......:P

by Squeaky on Aug 3, 2005 3:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

hmm...
Put a picture of Huston Street and Bobby Crosby in front of the wheel?
No, I do not want to FIRE MACHA NOW, nor do I think Blanton is fat. Now leave me alone.

by pbruins92 on Aug 3, 2005 3:44 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

*snort*
That'd be enough for the females. and then Marines Scutaro and Alex Chavez for the men?

by Squeaky on Aug 3, 2005 3:46 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Don't forget
DJ's girlfriend the brunette. If I remember correctly several ANers thought she was the best lookng one.
No, I do not want to FIRE MACHA NOW, nor do I think Blanton is fat. Now leave me alone.

by pbruins92 on Aug 3, 2005 4:05 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

yes....
I think she's cute. I'm sure the guys would, too. :P Then they all charge for the pitcher...and the wheel begins to turn...and there the stadium comes!

by Squeaky on Aug 3, 2005 4:09 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brilliant!
Just plain brilliant.

By any chance are you a jet-fuel genius?  I mean heck, with that kind of talent why aren't you the president...out there solving all the world's problems without even trying.

http://www.cafehayek.com ~ a blog for classical liberals

by LowcountryJoe on Aug 3, 2005 12:48 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

No, but ...
... I am a member of Team Banzai ... Perfect Tommy is working on the powertrain system ...
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 4, 2005 10:07 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I...love...John Bigboote...
and I cannot lie...
Picker of Nits since '63. Or so I thought until I discovered AN. Now I feel like a nitpiker.

by McFood on Aug 4, 2005 10:34 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"Big-boo-TAY! TAY!"
"It's not my god-damn planet, understand, monkey-boy?"
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 4, 2005 11:28 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Beats
the hell out of seatles retractable roof.
No, I do not want to FIRE MACHA NOW, nor do I think Blanton is fat. Now leave me alone.

by pbruins92 on Aug 3, 2005 12:50 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Brilliant, Monkeyball!
The new slogan can be "Every Hit a Splash Hit -- Guaranteed!"

by Englishmajor on Aug 3, 2005 12:58 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Shear brilliance!
Bravo monkeyball!  This is equal to Giambi's soliloquy.  

Now if the old West Oakland dump comes up in future stadium discussions will we get an adaptation of Elliot's Wasteland?

by BruceBochte on Aug 3, 2005 1:22 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Excellent idea!
I will file that one away, right next to my adaptation of Allen Ginsburg's epic poem -- "FOUL" ("I saw the greatest bats of my generation destroyed by the split-finger fastball ...").

No promises, but I'm thinking of making "monkeyball's poetry corner" a weekly/biweekly/monthly posting ...

It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 1:32 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Wonderful
I can hardly wait for poetry corner!  Now if there are only enough gifted adaptationists out there...

by BruceBochte on Aug 3, 2005 3:23 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Speaking of Eliot ...
... I'll also add "The Love Song of Billy Lamar Beane" to the list ...
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 1:43 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

While I'm at it ...
Waste Land

Two words.

Now, watch, I'll have 16 typos in this post. I have angered the twin typography gods, Qwerty and Uiop.

(Some fogies such as monkeyball do also still worship the "old gods," Etaoin and Shrdlu.)

It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 4:54 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Where's the petition to Lew Wolff?
I've got 5 email addresses, sign em all up!

by nickolai on Aug 3, 2005 1:26 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

The Best Post...Ever
Except that I had to do an analysis of "Kubla Khan" in high school and having to read it again, even in parody, was quite traumatic.
"I don't care what anyone calls it as long as the umpires call it a strike." ~ Rich Harden, on his "Spluckle Ball"

by almostreggie on Aug 3, 2005 1:31 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

i read it last year.
and read it over and over again and dissected it to no return.
let's go oakland [clapclap clapclapclap]

the a's fan lj community.

by Jjjsixsix on Aug 3, 2005 5:48 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That is one of the silliest diaries...
...I've ever seen in my life.

Oh, yeah. It's recommended. :)

AN Member Location Surveys: Results | Take part

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on Aug 3, 2005 1:49 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

And AN's motto can be
"Tippecanoe and Tyler, too!"
oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 3, 2005 1:52 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

nice reference
If I weren't playing baseball, I'd be... "in the Ultimate Fighting Championship." -Rich Harden

by xbhaskarx on Aug 3, 2005 11:15 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Ditto xbhaskarx's comment
Sweet.
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 4, 2005 10:08 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

"A Floating Ballpark"
Isn't this a Jules Verne novel?  In any case, perhaps we could hitch up to the Freedom Ship:

http://www.freedomship.com/

by sonomanate on Aug 3, 2005 2:55 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

OK, now do Finnegan's Wake
Come on, we don't have all day!
"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Aug 3, 2005 3:17 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

die Grammatikpolizei
No apostrophe.

Just for that, it'll have to wait for tomorrow. I'm doing GRAVITY'S RAINBOW tonight.

It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 3:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Holy crap, you're right!
I guess I've worn big holes in my brain (damn you, demon PCP!) since I attempted to read the thing.
"You can throw your cocks if I don't care!" - Iggy Pop

by AlamedaAphid on Aug 3, 2005 4:08 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Oh, Monkeyball
This is awesome. I just love it. And I beg your pardon...I live higher than Denver and I am NOT higher than the moon. :P But the poem...the idea...oh my. I love it.

by Squeaky on Aug 3, 2005 3:29 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm higher than the moon ...
... oh, wait -- you were probably speaking about physical elevation ...
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 3:39 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

I'm OVER the moon!
About the A's winning....but in physical elevation...I'm at 8200 feet.

by Squeaky on Aug 3, 2005 3:40 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hooray for international waters!
Can we have monkey knife fights?

Homer considers the lives of those back on land, smugly noting they are unaware of "the simple joys of a monkey knife fight."

by eebie on Aug 3, 2005 3:36 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

You had me at "monkey knife fights"
Hm. Wait. There's a second reading of that subject line that sets off my monkey-sense.
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 3:49 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

What happens when the...
... the stadium flips over à la "The Poseidon Adventure"?

by Jennifer on Aug 3, 2005 5:51 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Giveaway day
Shelley Winters bobbleheads for everyone!
It's tough out there, Pootie. You got drugs ... crime ... gorillas ...

by monkeyball on Aug 3, 2005 6:03 PM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Monkey, great versifying!
I love it! Floating ballparks! Paradise! Now, there's a challenge for you: Paradise Lost (and Regained).
Green and Gold since '73. #1712

by kent1 on Aug 3, 2005 7:45 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

And if you ever want to do a novel...
try The Sound and the Fury. Who's Benji?
"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings." -Earl Wilson

by whiteshoes40 on Aug 3, 2005 8:27 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

A few more
Hemminway- A Movable Field or For Whom the Drum Rolls
Sartre- Bleachers and Nothingness or The Condemned of Anaheim or Nausea- the Morgan Story
Camus  The Myth of OBPS and other Essays
Rimbaud-.  A Season in Hell (my visit to right field bleachers)
Joyce - Portrait of the Starter as a Young Man
Kant - A Critique of Pure Athletics

or how about that great film  Birth of Athletics Nation......

I could do this all night.......and I just might.

Furiously working on a Vodoo, Zombie, Bender beat.

by Duke of left field on Aug 3, 2005 11:40 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Thomas Wolfe
to Justin Morneau (or Jeremy Giambi, for that matter) "You Can't Go Home Again"
oaktoon

by oaktoon on Aug 4, 2005 12:07 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

My buddy FID
I wanted to give love to old Fyodor, but I dont like The Gambler or The Idiots in baseball.
Furiously working on a Vodoo, Zombie, Bender beat.

by Duke of left field on Aug 4, 2005 12:20 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

These days, Crime and Punishment seems
appropriate.
Green and Gold since '73. #1712

by kent1 on Aug 4, 2005 12:56 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

That was good
Toss is the roid problems and Bonds and you have Beckett - The Complete Dramatic Works
Furiously working on a Vodoo, Zombie, Bender beat.

by Duke of left field on Aug 4, 2005 8:57 AM PDT to parent up reply reply actions actions   0 recs

Hey, I already proposed a floating stadium
No pun intended, but I've been "floating" that idea for some time!

Yes, I mentioned "no property taxes", but you failed to mention the -biggest- reason it is feasible:

-earthquake acceleration-

Any stadium built has to withstand a 1G acceleration without collapsing.  How much is "one Gee"?? Take your model stadium, rotate it so the playing field is perpendicular to the floor, then back again.  Make a stadium out of Leggos and you'll see the result.

A floating stadium needs much -less- structure because it is NOT subject to earthquakes.  In fact, it can serve as an intact earthquake headquarters!   Would not the City of Oakland like a foolproof command center when the inevitable quake along the Hayward Fault (probably 8.0) hits in the next 40 yrs???  Housing for thousands (might have to watch a game or two).

by Ducts on the Pawn on Aug 4, 2005 8:07 PM PDT reply reply actions actions   0 recs

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