Let's be sellers.

I was going to post this in one of the existing Dunn diaries, but then I realized that my premise was a notion at least as radical as one that says that the Reds will win the World Series in 2009.  Since resident A's organizational depth chart expert Zonis aka Die Eier Von Satan (ok, so it's some other long title that includes Satan, but since you can't consult other people's signatures while restricted to the solitary confinement of a diary, I hope you won't mind my substituting of the title of a Tool song in which a brownie recipe is recited in German...note to readers: skip over all future parentheticals unless you relish completely random run-on references...anyways) called for a diary of such epic proportions as the logical follow-up to his exhaustive analysis (check the bookshelves of your local library for the latest edition of his trading post), I figured I'd step outside the narrow-minded realm of ill-conceived Gammons plots to restore the Red Sox to AL supremacy and post my ideas in a new diary.  I say 86 years of A's pennants before that happens again, by which time he'll be comfortably seated next to Ted Williams in a cryogenics lab.

I must say 2 things here:

1. With all that buildup, I better come through with some actual ideas, eh?
   
2. For anyone who ever doubted the existence of the so-called runner's high, I think I'm experiencing it at an unprecedented level right now.  At least that's my best attempt to account for what's already been written.

So, as the July 31st Non-Waiver Trade Deadline (let's not forget that the Larry Walkers and Randy Myers of the world, to refer to the prized/unwanted claims of past years, will still be available until August 31st) approaches, I think the A's should take this opportunity to once again shock the people of Bristol University and all other institutions that specialize in the cloning of John Kruk by doing, against all odds, the truly rational thing: being a seller in a seller's market.

<Break to prevent overwhelming of ANers accustomed to reading minimum character-level diaries>

Let me start by offering the three main sources of inspiration for my idea.  

1. BB's enlightening comment that the A's plan on being both buyers and sellers at the deadline.
   
2. Ken Williams having gotten lucky over the offseason and assembled a team that appears to be a World Series contender (more on this later)
   
3. The Evil Empires are vulnerable, a sub-.500 team could win a division, something like 22 of 30 teams are within something like 5 games out of a playoff spot...all these are different ways of saying the samw thing: it seems to be wide open this year.

Granted, I don't think BB foresaw the A's being at 54-45 when he took the middle road, or more accurately, both roads, when describing the A's approach to the deadline a month or more beforehand.  But, knowing that his principles remain uncannily similar whether or not the A's win every game or lose every game, the origin of my idea would be described as follows: #1 planted the seed, #3 provided the necessary context, and #2..should make any A's fan who plans on being alive in 2006 salivate.  In other words, there are many potential prey, but thanks to the improbable circumstances that have conspired to leave the White Sox with the best record in the majors at this time, we know who our real target is.  For an unknown length of time now, my mind has been fixated on three recurring thoughts:

1. Ray Durham for John Adkins.  
   
2. Royce Ring over Nick Swisher.
   
3. Chadford.

The White Shoes must always triumph over the White Sox, Major League Baseball Darwinism at its finest.

Then, occasioanlly, a fourth thought enters my mind, a little less vividly then the other two:

Carlos Lee for Scott Podsednik.  

Even Milwaukee can triumph over the White Sox when the conditions are favorable, like in the 2004-2005 offseason, when Ken Williams, on a whim, decided that he was "sick of second place."  Apparently the prospect of fighting it out for third or fourth was more appealing.  But then unforeseeable things happened.  John Garland apparently decided in Ken Williams-esque fashion that he was sick of being a 12-12 pitcher.  The Twins' offense regressed.  The Indians' offense, with the exception of Travis Hafner, regressed.  Magglio went down.  Only the Royals being absolutely horrible went according to plan in the AL Central.  Almost 40 games of beating down on divisional opponents later, only figuratively this season, much to Royals' 1B coach Tom Gamboa's relief, the White Sox think they're poised to give their reformed pacifist fan base something to celebrate.  

This is where the A's come in.  We're here to capitalize on these delusions of a Colored Sock dynasty held by the man who has delusions of being a general manager in the major leagues.  It's time to pull a reverse Fucking A trade, this time one that makes the John Sickels of the world say Fucking A, as opposed to the PTI wannabes.  

Here's what, I think, the White Sox are after:

1. Starting Pitching (They've been mentioned as a possible suitor for Burnett; it appears as though the Jose Contreras Era (say that out loud) may be over, Ozzie Guillen's assessment of him as having the best stuff on the pitching staff notwithstanding)
   
2. Relief Pitching (BBTN thought Wagner to the White Sox could make sense; Mr. Zero couldn't even keep his job longer than Hideo Nomo this year)
   
3. starter for the left side of the infield
   
4. depth

I'm going to save the Chavez for Crede rumors for Chicago sports talk radio.  But I will say this: if there was ever a time to turn Ricardo Rincon and Joe Kennedy into Brandon McCarthy, this is it.  On the surface, this trade makes a lot of sense.  The A's are well aware that the Sox have shown a tendency to gravitate towards relievers with the initials RR in the past, and Kennedy for McCarthy is little more than an exchange of currently anonynomous pitchers burdened by the negative karma of their respective Irish American political namesakes.  

All that time and energy consumed and I arrive at one half-assed trade proposal.  But the specifics is not what matters; I don't know enough about the White Sox prospects to get into the particulars of how we could fleece them.  What matters is that we can fleece them for the future by pulling off a reverse Fucking A trade that could make us even more dominant down the road, and still dominant enough to get by them with ease in the ALDS this year.