DLD 6/25/07: A Day In The Head Of Adam Melhuse
by Apricot on Jun 25, 2007 8:57 AM PDT
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PrintIcky weekend. Here some links and cartoons.
Overmatched A's limp out of New York
On the original 2007 major-league schedule, the A's were set to play the Brewers in Milwaukee. When the final, revised schedule was released, however, Oakland wound up with the Mets, one of baseball's best and highest-salaried clubs.
A'S NOTEBOOK / Calero may be next on DL
Closer Huston Street is out, setup man Justin Duchscherer is out and now setup man Kiko Calero is likely to join both on the disabled list today. Calero said he has a tired right shoulder, something like a "dead arm'' that has bothered him.
Team mum about K.C. declining Bradley deal
The A's provided no information whatsoever Saturday after a trade that would have sent Milton Bradley to Kansas City fell through the previous evening. "I have no comment on the situation,'' general manager Billy Beane said Saturday afternoon.
Previously: A Day In The Head of Eric Chavez.
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awesome!
The Adam Melhuse thought process is hilarious. Will I get thrown out onto a New Jersey turnpike after reading it?
a request
I'd really, really like to see a (recent) Day In The Head Of Billy Beane
That would be as scrutable
as one of the Korean comics sans translation.
would A Day in the Head of Marco be Scutable?
Let me help:
SMASH! F&$^! AHHHHH!! F#%&! SMASH! F%#$! D$#@! P^$@! S@$T! SMASH! ARG! [throws chair] ARG! ASS! F$@% YOUR MOTHER IN THE A@%! AHHH! SUCK MY F*&#^ING HAIRY F$#@&%^ #*%@S! SMASH! F$#& YOU, FISHER F#*@&ING PRICE! SMASH! [throws secretary] ARG! DERGEYBLOO! WAAAAFRUGH! F#&^ PIECE OF DONKEY S&$#! SMASH! I WILL F$@* YOU IN THE @#%! SMASH! F*&#! [throws table]
Fin.
I'd hate to see what would have to happen to a
person for them to make that sound.
by theblackpearl on Jun 25, 2007 11:17 AM PDT up reply actions
It's a variation of the color made famous in...
Steely Dan's song "Deacon Blue".
Excellent Vizio diagram
Funnniest part from Bradley article:
In addition, Bradley has had so many injuries in his career, it's certainly conceivable that he could have come off the DL on Wednesday and immediately hurt himself again.
When I click on that link I get this:
STOP!
You cannot access the following Web address:
Yadda yadda yadda
I no can haz addiction?
Oops, meant as reply to gotgreen's post.
Where is everyone?
Get swept once and everyone scurries away? Brutal weekend for the A's, but on a personal note it was a great weekend for me. 7 months, one test, and 5 interviews ago I applied for a promotion. I got it Friday! My faith in civil service has been restored, can the A's be far behind?
Unfortunately, it's times like these when we need
to turn to real life for consolation....Congratulations!
Perish the thought,
Mostly real life sucks....which is why I hang out here far more than is good for my mental health. Thanks for the congrats though! Much like my wife, I was beginning to think all of AN was indifferent to my minimulist accomplishments. I am now going to set much loftier goals...like learning to spell.
I'm on the congratswagon, too!
Don't blame the game, though... I was away from the computer (if I'd been at the computer, then yeah, I'd have been playing the game).
Waste managment.
moving this over from the weekend DLD!
this is a VERY addicting game. many have wasted precious time over the weekend playing this! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. :)
and that Melhuse thing is hilarious!!! great job!! =)
Tired addiction.
I wish you could pause this game
Because I have to toggle back to a screen I'm "working" on whenever someone walks by, and it's really killing my score.
18568 so far & TIP for @ work ppl
shrink your browser so that the only visible part is the pitcher, you, and the strike zone. Have something else behind the browser window so you can quickly click over to that file. Helpful since there isn't a Pause/Esc/Boss key.
AH!
11859 but my stoopid phone rang and had to stop for a conference call.
49857
Booya! It helps that I have nothing else to do and have amazing mouse-eye coordination from years of video game playing.
I also rule at Tecmo Bowl
and Halo
Hail to the nerd!
did you play the halo 3 beta?
i did for like 45 minutes.
I'm Jack Cust
I'm getting much better at smacking HR's (about 5-7 a sessions, with some of those double pt HRs), yet I routinely lose 6000-12000 points from K's / lineouts.
If I posted enough
by snakecharmer on Jun 26, 2007 1:04 AM PDT up reply actions
32006
I'm as far away from the plate as Bobby Crosby, but I actually try to take the ball to the opposite field. Genius.
by Colorado Fan on Jun 25, 2007 10:34 AM PDT up reply actions
opposite field
That seems to be the best strategy. Is it even possible to hit a homer over the left field wall? I've tried and I can't do it.
by Deep Puddle on Jun 25, 2007 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions
I've hit a few *off* the LF wall.
Is it possible to hit it over? Over the line can be done. I'd like to hit the balcony.
Crowd the Place Like Canseco
...and swing a little early. LF wall is yankable.
by Colorado Fan on Jun 25, 2007 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions
Has this worked for you?
At best, I get a HR off, not over the steel curtain. Most of the time crowding the plate, I Kendall it weakly up the middle.
I haven't either
Steel Fence = Green Monster, but further. I've hit homers of the fence, but not over it. My preference is the straightaway HR off the scoreboard. It's an especially gratifying target.
ok
after a few games in a row of less than 2000, I FINALLY figured out (1) you have to move your bat up to get lift and (2) you get a free ball for each HR.
- And pretty much can't reproduce it.
I think 10,000 is the Mendoza line.
Totally Kendalling this game. :(
i can't seem to break 1800
Yeah, I'm Kendall with a mouse...
but I hit like MYSELF with a laptop's touchpad.
inspired by this weekend
it's not baseball themed like Pinch Hitter, but it sums up the sweep. I was playing this for awhile last night while I was trying to sober up. Have fun!
P.S. I'm on the high scores page under miguel. I'm sure someone out there can beat me.
In a related story
Ministry of Defence denies regiment kilt shortage
The Royal Regiment of Scotland's 5,000 soldiers currently have just 320 kilts between them.
So, um... what are the other 4,680 wearing?
Shouldn't that "between" be "among"?
I want Pierzynski, we need someone to blame, I
can't think of a better target. Boy would the gameday threads be interesting. I would also love to, hear Fosse after all the years of bashing. He has never bashed a current Athletic.
by theblackpearl on Jun 25, 2007 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions
I would love to have Dye back
He's the power hitter the A's need in the OF.
too crowded?
I'd love to see Buck/Kotsay/Dye in the OF with Swisher at first base and Piazza at DH. Cust could be a dangerous pinch hitter.
Of course we'd have to get rid of Shannon Stewart or Bobby Kielty, but I'd be fine with that.
Ugh. I almost don't want to link this...
...cause it's giving Dave Del Grande wider exposure (which I'm sure is what he's after) but in today's Trib, without offering any evidence, he says Milton Bradley was DFA'd simply because he's black. Talk about throwing around easy and unfounded accusations of racism. This is the worst kind of column in my opinion because it treats a very serious issue in an irresponsible way and only serves to ignite and fan flames of opinion in an effort to create "churn" for the sake of selling newspapers, creating readership and stirring provocation.
truly pathetic
You cannot take seriously someone who writes about Bradley without mentioning the facts that he'd been injured all year, is CURRENTLY injured, and is a free agent next year.
< smears burnt cork on Kendall >
Anyone here from the South?
How long does it take to completely burn grits?
hahahaha
QOTM to this one and monkeyball's. hehehee.
to completely burn grits? a while. probably like a couple hours, i'd guess.
by Eric in Atlanta on Jun 25, 2007 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions
i second the QOTM
''Tell me it's not as simple as that.''
It's not as simple as that.
Uh... DUH.
I'm not saying Bradley should be starting ahead of Travis Buck. But, when healthy, ahead of Shannon Stewart and Bobby Kielty? In a heartbeat.
Yes, Dave. When healthy. When healthy. When healthy.
Healthy, when?
When was the last time Kielty started a game,
that Milton wasn't healty for? If Kielty wasn't on the 60 day DL, I bet he would have been DFA'd first, and probably will be if he returns this year, or he will be in Sacramento.
by theblackpearl on Jun 25, 2007 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions
and
by King Richard on Jun 26, 2007 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions
I'm kinda torn
everyone has offered up explanations for the Bradley trade, but if we email this guy he'll only get more attention.
I did email this guy...
it's like arguing with a 5th grader. His only argument is that Beane SAID he "THOUGHT Bradley would be a malcontent" with his diminished playing time and that he didn't KNOW one way or the other. In sum, the operative language behind his entire argument is that Beane "thought",(because Bradley is black of course) he would become a malcontent. Because Beane was operating on gut and not personal knowledge other reasons like outfield overload, injuries, salary, trades etc. were not a part of the equation. Therefore, Beane is a whitewasher of the A's. He had no rebuttal of course to the recent additions of Suzuki (who was called up when a white player in Millhouse was traded) and Garcia. Of course, this joker only sees things in white and black.
I asked him if he thought Beane would EVER tell us the real reason he did ANYTHING to which he, of course, had no answer. It of course wouldn't be prudent for Beane to show his cards. I then told him ANG newspapers must really be hurting if this is the best writer they could come up with, a Skip Bayless-esque incitor.
In sum, don't waste your time talking to this guy.
by SwisherSweet33 on Jun 25, 2007 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions
I'm torn as well
but more because I generally like reading the Trib, and was hoping that even if I write about what a flame-throwing internet troll he's become, it will help the Tribune employees keep their jobs and provide some feedback to them about their readership (of which they probably know nothing), which might keep them in the printing business longer.
..."might" being the operative word.
by popcornjames on Jun 25, 2007 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Well, they've lost one reader in me...
His last response in our email exchange attacked my name. Yeah, my birth name. I out debate him, he resorts to ad hominem attacks. Gotta love it.
Dave Del Grande; miserable person poor sports writer.
by SwisherSweet33 on Jun 25, 2007 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions
yikes....
...has Fire Joe Morgan been alerted to this guy yet?
[goes to FJM]
by popcornjames on Jun 25, 2007 3:42 PM PDT up reply actions
Are you the same ice cream that used to post on
AN hella long ago? I haven't heard from you in so long I thought global warming had melted your cap.
Well, I'm back. And that odor you smell...
is global warming melting my crap.
Breathe deep the gathering gloom, McFoodstuff.
Global warming is a good thing...
Has this guy ever heard of defamation?
Defamation is the communication of a statement that makes a false claim, expressly stated or implied to be factual, that may harm the reputation of an individual, business, product, group, government or nation.
i have noticed
that almost every black player beane brings to the team eventually leaves. maybe beane only acquires them so he can later get rid of them because they're black.
Yes.
And I guess when he brought in Shannon Stewart, he was under the impression he was a small white Dutch boy.
And Frank Thomas? Well, that's totally a white name.
He's the hackiest of the hacks
Does anyone take DelGrande serious. Complete joke.
by FreeSanJose on Jun 26, 2007 1:06 PM PDT up reply actions
OT: Schrodinger's Dick
Note: link only intended for purposes of linguistic/scientific/"no-hitter" code/nerd/euphemistic humor.
The DLD is dead to me.
Half the damn links I click on are restricted from viewing at my work. Do these people expect me to work all day!??!
Dave Del Grande Calls Out Beane as a Racist!
Folks, this is the type of "journalism" that upsets me. If anyone wonders why blogs such as AN have risen it's due to the irresponsible attitudes of columnists who make racially inflamed statements without any recourse.
http://www.insidebayarea.com/sports/...
Is Dave Del Grande the equivalent of Don Imus? When it comes to stupid statements, maybe. But Del Grande should be questioned and criticized for his unprofessional and accusative statements. Most of us at AN have figured out why MB is gone. Mr. Del Grande is just another reminder of why Beane has such disdain for the print media.
My Bad...but worth repeating,..I guess
because he was DFA'ed! Duh.
Mr. Beane?
I think this is an example of why a great many folks have disdain for the print media. And that goes for the demogogues on both ends of the political spectrum.
by the way
you all are a bunch of wimps. This blog page is only rated...
Rate your own page at http://mingle2.com/blog-rating.
Sadly they don't seem to parse the words in the more violent passages in the Melhuse comic above.
hmm
Yesterday's thread got
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
hurt (5x)
dead (2x)
crap (1x)
A losing game thread with no cussing?!?!
I don't believe it.
Boobs!
Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs! Boobs!
(maybe that'll up our ratings)
by kaweahkaweah on Jun 25, 2007 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions
nope
boobs didn't register. But we ARE up to PG-13. Let me try pasting in some text.
Macha, I will kill you and eat your flesh. Then I will commit suicide, track you down in the underworld... ...and vomit blobs of your own putrid guts down your Satan-seared throat. MELLY SMASH!
Be right back.
Oh!
The Cadaver Calculator!
http://mingle2.com/cadaver-calculator
How much are you worth?
$4,590
Man, they'll buy anything. But I'm pretty sure I'd be used to make soap or something.
And the long hair really didn't add much.
:(
[makes therapy appointment]
[contemplates slitting wrists]
$4175
If they think I'm worth that much, I'm sold. Stupid site doesn't say where I can go and sell my body, though.
$3790
or an elephant
tight with albinos.
I'm tight with bonobos -- does that count?
$11450 Top that!
Non-smoking, non-drinking, healthy eating, sugar-free, non-diabetic, untanned, painless, non-contaminated, non-psycho, non-diabetic body-builing, parapalegic herniated long-haired albino dwarf kid with perfect vision, elephantitis and no appendix or intestines.
$8255 if I add Giantism to that.
Giantist! Go back to Warrantless Wiretap Park!
I wish I was savvy enough
to post a link to the old movie "The Warriors"
never saw it, but remember the ads
for it...particularly the baseball bats they weilded.
Now a cult classic I believe.
Definatley a strange film, but worth watching.
can this Mohawk kid hit?
Nah
Billy Beane's prejudiced against Native Americans.
Nice Milton the Monster sig!
i didn't want barton called up before september
but after seeing that photo, i've changed my mind.
Okay everybody.
Pet peeve.
The roster move is called Designate For Assignment, and the verb is the first word. Therefore, when abbreviating, we should say that Milton Bradley was D'dFA, not DFA'd. Get it right, people.
I may be crazy, but you're the nerd
who beat me in the spelling bee. Don't think I've let I that god.
"WMDs"?
No, it's WsMD.
Similar concept.
by kaweahkaweah on Jun 25, 2007 12:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Exactly.
Correct: "Blez should DFA Poppy," "Poppy should be D'dFA," "DingFA Poppy would be good for AN."
Incorrect: "Poppy should not be DFA'd.
following your jejune rules ...
... shouldn't it be "Blez should D Poppy FA"?
hold on..
doesn't the "W" in "WMD" stand for "Weapons"? Therefore both "WMDs" and "WsMD" are redundant...
by high street on Jun 25, 2007 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions
Not necessarily
You can refer to a weapon of mass destruction (singular). As in, "That there is a mighty fine weapon of mass destruction you've got."
by kaweahkaweah on Jun 25, 2007 12:43 PM PDT up reply actions
Not necessarily
Elijah Dukes's junk = Weapon of MD. If he had multiple organs (?), well, you get the picture.
I thought it was more of a WMC
Weapon of Mass Creation.
by Englishmajor on Jun 25, 2007 1:38 PM PDT up reply actions
WMR - Weapon of Mass Reproduction
Nevermind.
Disagree
It is at the very least not clear that acronyms must have parallel grammar. There is disagreement. To the extent you're right, it should just be DFA, with the past tense implied by the context. In the WMD context, correct is "a WMD" and "some WMD".
"RBI" has a different grammar than "Run batted in," hence "an RBI." I would say that RBI is a singular noun, that can quite acceptably be pluralized into RBIs. I would accept "Cust had 3 RBIs" or "Cust had 3 RBI." I would definitely not approve of "Cust had 3 RsBI".
Also, indefinite article ...
... depends on whether you say "arr-bee-eye," or "ribbie": an "arr-bee-eye," or a "ribbie."
"ribbie" isn't even a pronunciation of RBI
it's a different word altogether
uh ...
... so, do you say "enn ay ess ay"? Or, more apposite, "ell oh oh gee wye"?
(Or, for the French art majors out there, "ell aitch oh oh que"?)
uh... those ARE pronunciations of acronyms
Ribbie is a seperate word that means RBIs.
Don't push me, monkeyboy. I'll poll this if I have to.
f'n' stick that thing out there
unavoidable: spelling error in a grammar debate
These debates are bad for all of us
by encouraging a lot more care than really should be put into these posts.
I vote non-word
Bill James made a comment in one of the old Baseball Abstracts that "ribbies" must have been invented by one of the same sportscasters who insists on calling the Chicago team the "Cubbies." (In retrospect, Bill James may have been an early influence on my advanced curmudgeonliness.)
your mom's mom's from Boston?
Reappearing/disappearing "r" drives me nuts.
"I'm going to warsh my cah, pick up some pizzar, and eat it in my backyahd."
You can't just borrow an r from one word and give it to another!!!
when Sal Jr hits 16, don't let him borrow your r
(Make him take the Segway.)
Man, high standards ... what if Cust had 6 RsBI?
in one inning?
monkeyball's a WMD
I'm permanently on DEFECON-5
So when did you stop saying...
"RBI's"???
actually, you're an ungrammatical failure
I'm not going to say you failed
but couldn't you have started this grammatical brou ha ha on Friday? My DLD was lucky to get the 71 comments it got and now this baby's nearly hit 200.
On the plus side, however, I did score the coveted NC-17 rating thanks to Jennifer's thoughtful inclusion of "apeshit."
or maybe I didn't even get that
does just one apeshit do it, or do you need multiple apeshits?
only careful research will tell
Your DLD got an R rating. Not bad.
This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:
ass (5x)
bitches (3x)
death (2x)
crap (1x)
http://mingle2.com/blog-rating tells all.
I appreciate your efforts folks
But it's pretty weak. We still merely have an R rating, despite Jennifer and Pam's best efforts. Our highlights:
ass (3x)
anal (2x)
shit (1x)
I checked out LL's last game thread to see how they achieved the coveted NC-17 rating and found:
fucking (47x)
kill (39x)
fuck (15x)
hell (7x)
shit (6x)
suck (5x)
ass (3x)
apeshit (2x)
pissed (1x)
I think if we could get grover and xbox yelling at each other here, we might be able to compete, but we're just a little too nice. Most of us.
twice
And I wasn't even there.
You'd b apeshit too if Willie Bloomquist went 2/3
apeshit ct now (2x)
NC-17 now
due to quoting LL.
I do note with satisfaction that the classic cheap soap opera about Crosby's ass thread got a straight NC-17 with no, ahem, artificial enhancement.
ass (70x)
hell (8x)
fucking (3x)
sex (2x)
crack (1x)
Wow.
That's a lot of fucks and fucking.
Ass! Piss! Damn! Shit!
What rating are we aiming for?
RAPE! KILL!
John Lackey procreating!
Bartolo Colon showering! Bill Plaschke typing! Rev Halofan critiquing art! oaktoon discussing regression to the mean!
Balls! Bajingo! Hootenanny!
nc 17
"I think if we could get grover and xbox yelling at each other here, we might be able to compete"
the only problem with that is grover and i get along. if you want us to yell more, you'll have to find a way to bring back oaktoon and as eh.
Shut the hell up.
But grover does.
<buys popcorn>
Be quiet and go make a new DLD.
This comment rated NC-420
Supreme court rules against BONG HiTS 4 JESUS
obviously not advocating drug use
It's a baseball strategy message.
I hadn't even thought of that
It could be referring to the 2004 Reds.
and, of course, if ...
... the Reds were playing in SF in '04, and that pitcher gave up a game-winning HR into deep RF in the bottom of the 9th, it would be Jesus Walk-off's on Water.
Holy poo.
I leave for a few hours and all heck breaks loose.
Sharon once told me to call her a bitch...
and I just couldn't, even when told to.
I think I've made progress.
Ok, everyone, she's back!
OK
nah, I D'd her FA last week
Wait. That sounds dirty.
As George Carlin would say about this thread:
Fuck.
This fuckin' fucker's all fucked up.
Now this thread will fined by the FCC.
by LawDaddy on Jun 25, 2007 3:11 PM PDT reply actions
there's, uh, *no* m'fin' shark in the m'fin' tank
My theory for this? The father is a devil ray.
i don't watch wrestling at all
but this is still sad!
chris benoit, his wife, and son were found dead in their home. no details yet on what happened.
wow, that's a stunner
can't wait for the details, but it sounds tragic.
Guess that means he joins his best friend Eddie Guerrero in the big ring in the wherever ...
given the rumored details ...
Melhuse thought process is funny
I have to think that now that Melhuse is on the Rangers, the Rangers are actually winning. And the A's are losing. (although I think that has more to do with playing hard teams). If Kendall is traded to Texas I actually think Melhuse will commit suicide. Or at leat poke his eyes out with his cleats.
by mlleaimee on Jun 25, 2007 8:27 PM PDT reply actions
The losing streak started...
Tell me it's not that simple.
so this team needs MORE
Kendall Stinks
by mlleaimee on Jun 26, 2007 6:29 PM PDT up reply actions
What IS it with Kielty's calf??
There are calves that have gone from pasture to burger joint since he went on the DL. Hell, I had my hip joint dislocated, sawed-off, otherwise rent asunder, and replaced with a metal object on April 30, and I'm "running without discomfort" by now.
In my experience, muscles just don't take that long to heal. But then, I guess I've never been examined by the Grim Trainer or worked-over by his implement of choice.
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