DLD 5/23/06: Fine, I'll do it. Again.

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 10:19 AM PDT

For those of you who missed yesterday's link dump, which went on and on, there is a nice Reader's Digest version available, courtesy of Rubin Sierra. Hilarity ensued.

Indeed, it was a banner day all around at AN, as we were fortunate enough to be visited by both Justin Duchscherer AND Jay Witasick. For some reason, Mr. Witasick was determined to prove that he is not in fact a journeyman middle reliever, but a teenaged mad fly hunnie. We're still all skeptical.

Anyway, onto today's links. As Susan Slusser writes, yesterday was a wild night at the (throw a) Cell (at Carl Everett) in Chicago. Frank Thomas hit two homers in his return, a mad fly sqwirl was ejected for arguing with an umpire, and Ozzie Guillen ran around the field for a full five minutes before he hid behind the tarp like a coward.

In the end, and as Josh Suchon notes, our battered bullpen was not up to the task of stopping the White Sox. For the doom and gloomers out there, I think the first paragraph of Suchon's article is worth noting:

Of the seven pitchers now in the A's bullpen, five started the year in the minors. The A's have weathered their numerous injuries for the most part, but Monday's 5-4 loss in 10 innings was an example of the short-handed bullpen getting exposed.

Wow. Two relievers left with which we intended to start the season. It's really a minor miracle we're a game out of first place.

In other news, Giants fans still continue to breathe without the benefit of respirators. It's too bad when they make comments like these.

Lastly, for those of you who would blame Barry Zito for last night's loss, you would do well to take a look at what happened in San Diego last night. Sometimes, even your best isn't good enough.

I hope we will be able to maintain a modicum of decency and self-control today, folks. If everyone is on their best behavior, I promise cookies for everyone!

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Comments

you make me sound deranged

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 10:25 AM PDT reply actions

Morning Jay!

Zito is so dreamy, but Chavvy would probably treat you better. ~Natto (McCovey Chron)

by baseballgirl on May 23, 2006 10:28 AM PDT up reply actions

Have a cookie, Jay

by Rickeyfan on May 23, 2006 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions

Are you related

to Attila The Hunnie?

I can't remember what I was going to say, but I assure you, it was brilliant!

by oblique on May 23, 2006 10:53 AM PDT up reply actions

you are all so very sick

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions

My Hall of Lame

has Johnny Damon in it.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 10:26 AM PDT reply actions

I think we all know

he was looking for monkeyball.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 10:29 AM PDT reply actions

<snerk>

"Grand River Fur Exchange"

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions

Wow, that's pretty much....

...right out of my nightmares.

Rattlesnakes, no prob.
Black widow spiders? I sport a bite scar on my shoulder.
I swim in the ocean with other swimmy animals with teeth.

But bears? WORST NIGHTMARE.

But hey, I also don't consider it an irrational fear, either. Aren't we supposed to be afraid of bears?

And stupid Coke Classic, trying to make evil, evil polar bears look cute and cuddly for marketing purposes.

In conclusion, I hate bears.

That is all.

Zito is so dreamy, but Chavvy would probably treat you better. ~Natto (McCovey Chron)

by baseballgirl on May 23, 2006 10:35 AM PDT up reply actions

Wouldn't be a problem

if you just paid your bear tax.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 10:36 AM PDT up reply actions

go tell that

to the guy that was in Grizzly Man

death to myspace!

by malikot on May 23, 2006 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions

I am also afraid of bears.

And I am thankful for Stephen Colbert's continued diligence in reporting the threat they pose to mankind. Indeed, he chronicles the same tragic event in a Dutch zoo discussed earlier on this site:

http://www.comedycentral.com/search/search_index.jhtml?searchtype=video&searchterm=bears&sor ttype=default&pagesize=27

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 10:45 AM PDT up reply actions

I hate bears...

..and yet I love being bare?

SPOOKY!

"I smell like a meadow." - Yuniesky Betancourt

by Ozzz on May 23, 2006 11:00 AM PDT up reply actions

I <3 bears

I know there's a certain tree that's not too fond of bears, though.

by calgbear on May 23, 2006 11:28 AM PDT up reply actions

For some reason...

...I still can't stop laughing. Banner day at AN indeed.

We need to find a way to get paid for this AN gig so we can just hang out here all day. It's like our coffee shop. Except without the coffee.

Zito is so dreamy, but Chavvy would probably treat you better. ~Natto (McCovey Chron)

by baseballgirl on May 23, 2006 10:29 AM PDT reply actions

I'm still spent from yesterday's dump(s)...

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions

Wow...

Am I the only one that thought this was a reference to some exhausting bowel movements?

by RickeySteals on May 23, 2006 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions

you're not getting paid?

Have you neglected to complete and return your I9 to Blez?

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions

I was speaking for the general public...

...thank you very much.

I actually am Joe Kennedy. I'm so sorry you had to find out this way.

Zito is so dreamy, but Chavvy would probably treat you better. ~Natto (McCovey Chron)

by baseballgirl on May 23, 2006 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions

Hmmmm... if you are Joe Kennedy

that really puts a weird (creepy) spin on calling Kirk Saarloos your pony....

by AsFanInLA on May 23, 2006 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Yesterday was more like a Dutch coffee shop.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions

<looks for Haren>

"I laughed, I cried, I searched out my own inner Jay Witasick." - Rubin Sierra

by KendallGurl18 on May 23, 2006 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions

maybe Beane IS contemplating a roster shakeup

So, yesterday we had Macha's trial balloon for demoting Blanton (unclear whether to the 'pen or Sacto), and today we have Slusser channeling someone in the front office regarding Frank:

With Milton Bradley likely to come off the disabled list in early June, Thomas' playing time or potentially even his roster spot could be in jeopardy if he is not hitting with any consistency.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 10:35 AM PDT reply actions

Uh, why Thomas and not DJ?

If anyone has to go first, my vote is DJ unfortunately. As much as I love him, the weak groundouts to first or second need to stop. At least Thomas has shown that if you make a mistake, he can still punish you. He's had some better at bats lately in my opinion, whereas DJ looks no better than the start of the season (except now his average is no longer .000)

I agree with the sentiment some have expressed that when Milton comes back, move Swish to first and have an OF of Kots, Bradley, and Jaypay. Better defense all around in that case as well.

by nycfan @ Athletics Nation on May 23, 2006 10:47 AM PDT up reply actions

I ain't advocatin' it, just reportin' what I read

I find it verrrrrrrrry interesting that A's management is dropping hints through Slusser about so many potential roster moves. Methinks something is afoot.

My guess is that the nugget regarding Frank was Beane's way of sending a signal to the White Sox (among others) that Frank could be available in trade.

And for the record, I'm with you on DJ -- I'm a huge fan, I keep thinking he's going to start generating quality hits in addition to quality PAs ... but he's killing us when he's in the lineup. He needs to be sent down to Sacto.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions

My guess is that

we see a Larry Sutton call up, and right quick.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions

Then BoCro kills Swish

and no one can play first if DJ is sent down... except MaEl. He can do anything. <sigh> He's dreamy.

Crap. I totally forgot MaEl died on Saturday.

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 10:58 AM PDT up reply actions

Who's more dangerous?

Bobby Crosby or 500-pound bear.
Who would provide better protection for Chavy?

by rubin sierra on May 23, 2006 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions

I don't think the 500-pound bear ...

... would swing at as many sliders down and away.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:03 AM PDT up reply actions

and would John Lackey

make any snarky comments about the bear waving his elbow guard out over the plate?

by rubin sierra on May 23, 2006 12:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Stick that f'in ursine claw out there!

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions

<bear eats Rally Monkey>

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions

SIGN THE BEAR NOW!!

by rubin sierra on May 23, 2006 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions

<Mare eats Bally's Donkey>

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes.

But he's day to day.

"I smell like a meadow." - Yuniesky Betancourt

by Ozzz on May 23, 2006 11:01 AM PDT up reply actions

White Sox?!

Besides the fact that there's still bad blood between Thomas and Kenny Williams, the Sox have Thome, who's leading the league in homers, as their DH, and Konerko at first.

I can definitely see Thomas getting less playing time if he keeps hitting .200, even with good power, but the idea of him losing his roster spot makes a lot less sense to me than Blanton losing his spot in the rotation. In particular, I don't see how a trade would make any sense at all. If he can still be productive, we need him here, either as the near-full-time player that he's been, or playing more intermittently; if his foot problems are worse than he's let on, and he just doesn't think he can play, he'll retire.

Ooh Ahh, Sabres on the warpath

by andeux on May 23, 2006 11:05 AM PDT up reply actions

all good points

My reasoning is the timing: this blind item is planted with Slusser the day after Thomas hits 2 HRs in his return to Chicago.

Yes, Williams taking Frank back would be very unlikely; but I think that Frank could potentially be worth more to us as a trading chit than as a 3/4-time, 1/2-strength DH. If Beane can bamboozle another GM into thinking that a hot streak is an indication Frank is "back" (which I don't think he ever really will be), he could get a second-tier prospect (or fungible bullpen arm) in exchange.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:12 AM PDT up reply actions

I think you're right that he's worth that

but I actually Frank is worth more to us at this point than a second tier prospect. If you look at our lineup, it seems like we only have three legitimate long ball threats: Swish, Chavez, and Thomas. For whatever reason (back problems?) Kotsay's power has declined sharply, Crosby is way too inconsisent, DJ's hitting skills appear to have disappeared, and Milton is still hurt. It appears that Swish is going through a little slump himself. With so many guys slumping or hitting below their capabilities, we truly lack offensive firepower, so I think we do need to hold on tightly to the few power threats we actually have.

The problem, which you rightly point out, is that Frank seems to be all or nothing - homerun or strikeout/weak pop out. Unfortunately, the bench that we thought was going to be so valuable at the start of the year doesn't seem to be a viable replacement - except for Melhuse, and he's not going to DH every day and Macha isn't going to sit Kendall.

At this point, I think we just have to keep sticking Frank out there and hoping he comes around. I don't think we say the same for DJ, because in his case there does seem to be another solution.

by nycfan @ Athletics Nation on May 23, 2006 11:28 AM PDT up reply actions

Call-ups

Hiram Bocachica played his his first game of the year in Sacramento after recovering from another wrist injury, and just like last year started out with a bang, homering in his first AB and later adding a double. If Bradley stays on the sidelines and Johnson keeps struggling, I'm sure we'll be hearing calls for Bocachica to get the call, though I'm not convinced his career numbers (a dismal .217/.271/.364 with four big-league teams) warrant it.

And the Los Angeles Angels of Last Place have called up 22-year old Cuban defector Kendry Morales, who will be the seventh person to play first base for them this year. Morales is considered a pretty good prospect, but like Howie Kendrick and Jeff Mathis, it seems like they may be rushing him a bit. The article also mentions Tony Clark and Shea Hillenbrand as possible trade targets for the halos, with Ken Rosenthal confirming the possibility of a Hillenbrand/Adam Kennedy swap.

Ooh Ahh, Sabres on the warpath

by andeux on May 23, 2006 10:39 AM PDT reply actions

LAAoLP

Has a nice ring to it.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions

Thanks

I've been waiting to use that one. Maybe "ring" isn't your best choice of words here though.

Ooh Ahh, Sabres on the warpath

by andeux on May 23, 2006 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions

MLB doesn't have

participation rings?

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 10:56 AM PDT up reply actions

'baseballgirl' -- I mean Joe Kennedy...

...might be interested in this rule...

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 10:40 AM PDT reply actions

Company.

Nice to know that AN isn't the only blog that thinks this way.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 11:08 AM PDT reply actions

nice Kurtz reference

I don't see any method at all, sir.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:14 AM PDT up reply actions

if only blez would find the rev and terminate him

terminate...with extreme prejudice

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on May 23, 2006 11:23 AM PDT up reply actions

would that make yeswecan ...

... the Dennis Hopper character?

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions

footage of yesterday's skwirl

Link.

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 11:28 AM PDT reply actions

KraZEe SKwiRL AKshUn!!!

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions

Random stat of the day

Worst ISO (AL, >100 PA)

Gathright, TBD .025
White, MIN .035
Kendall, OAK .044
Polanco, DET .047
Castro, MIN .054
Johnson, TOR .057
Ichiro, SEA .067
Beltre, SEA .067
Ford, MIN .071

(Note: ISO = SLG-AVG)

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 11:28 AM PDT reply actions

Yay.

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 11:33 AM PDT up reply actions

Yay for Kendall?

Or that two of Seattle's highest paid players are on the list?

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions

Yay for Kendall.

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions

On the bright side,

we didn't sign Rondell White as our DH instead of Frank Thomas, and we don't have Adrian Beltre instead of Eric Chavez. Beltre's decline is just amazing.

Ooh Ahh, Sabres on the warpath

by andeux on May 23, 2006 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions

Adrian Beltre

is looking more like Esteban Beltre.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions

impressive!

who would have guessed when we traded for kendall that his ISO would be so close to beltre's.

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on May 23, 2006 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions

lol

Kendall ISO, 2004: .071
Beltre ISO, 2004: .305

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 11:43 AM PDT up reply actions

Ichiro sucks.

It seems to me that to be on this list, you need to possess one of two qualities, but not both:

a) a high degree of suckitude
b) a remarkable ability to reach base via contact, and not strike out

What strikes me about the list above is that it contains several people I'd badly want on my team. Granted, you only need one or two of those guys, but they're still nice to have.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions

"krukow and kuiper", balanced????

What kinda idiot thinks that homer Krukow is "balanced"???

I must admit,

I miss Greg Papa.
and Bill King.

and Roy Steele.

by popcornjames on May 23, 2006 11:39 AM PDT reply actions

I wonder what your cat's breath smells like

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions

Barton with his 8th error of the season...

...<cries>

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 11:46 AM PDT reply actions

And he's out of the game.

That can't be good.

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions

Are they on the road?

I should have gone if it's a RiverKitties day game.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions

when Crosby was in Sacto ...

... were they the RiverBunnies?

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions

No.

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions

I'll need to get on this.

I will have a lot of time on my hands this summer. 11:35 start is a little odd to me, but whatever works.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions

You were right, not good.

Cross-posting from another thread--tip o' the hat to Doug for the link:

http://www.minorleagueball.com/story/2006/5/23/174012/113

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 4:03 PM PDT up reply actions

F----.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 4:08 PM PDT up reply actions

Sal! What about the children!!!

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions

<insert inappropriate onanism joke>

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 4:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Actually

What makes an onanism joke funny is the lack of insertion.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions

oof!

Ten points!

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

I thought for sure your response would be ...

... "F--- the children"

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions

---UCK.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions

If Barton is hurt...

...<dies>

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 11:54 AM PDT reply actions

If Barton is dead ...

<hurts>

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions

<dies> ...

...is your answer to everything, isn't it? :P

Dorian on Bonds: "Still, I love it when Bonds wins at the game that he plays."

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on May 23, 2006 2:00 PM PDT up reply actions

<irae>

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 2:01 PM PDT up reply actions

I hate you.

"...when Mark Kotsay calls you off, you better get out of the way, because if you don't, he'll run you over." -- Swish

by Sharon on May 23, 2006 2:06 PM PDT up reply actions

The article on the A's radio broadcasts, seen

through the eyes of a giants fan was one of the stupidest, most pointless "articles" i've ever seen.

The author of this uncredited article, states that
being a HUGE Giants fan...
"When I listen to the A's announcers, it's almost entirely an A's discussion. That's great for A's fans, but I find it boring. I've turned them off before in interleague play and turned on KNBR instead, so I'm very happy to have the different broadcasts."

Sorry to say, but no shit bro. Stop your complaining and attempt to understand the plight of the A's fan, who is constantly searching for radio signal. Shut the F up!!

Out group bashing, ingroup praising - what a great idea for an article?! What tremendous insight they added by telling us they like their radio announcers better. The fact that the title tells us exactly what the article is about tells us this drivel is going to be biased.

What an idiot.

Frank Thomas is big.

by robber23 on May 23, 2006 12:06 PM PDT reply actions

Letter to the Editor, methinks.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 12:06 PM PDT up reply actions

seriously

could you believe they actually published that.

What the hell are they trying to say.

Wow, that's fantastic news!!!

They don't know what it's like to search for radio signal.

Frank Thomas is big.

by robber23 on May 23, 2006 12:08 PM PDT up reply actions

The search for a radio signal

It's driving me crazy. Half the time I can't get it at all, the other half I'm listening to Korach and Cotroneo layered with country music and an Asian language channel.

by goldfish on May 23, 2006 12:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Come back, Family Radio!

All is forgiven.

I miss Bill King.

by Checkswing HR on May 23, 2006 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions

LOL

It almost makes me nostalgic for the sermons. And the disclaimer before every A's broadcast that they were not responsible for any of the following (heathen) content.

by goldfish on May 23, 2006 2:04 PM PDT up reply actions

Swish: <censored>!

<goldfish's radio explodes>

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions

<is maimed by exploding radio>

Damnit, I missed a HR.

<dies>

by goldfish on May 23, 2006 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions

I have bad reception

and I'm in Oakland!

I miss Bill King.

by Checkswing HR on May 23, 2006 1:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Jay Jaffe chat

ChuckR (Addison, IL): Over/Under on the Barrett suspension?

Jay Jaffe: As for Barrett, I'd say two games, max. I'm sure even Bob Watson enjoyed watching AJ take one in the kisser.

http://www.baseballprospectus.com/chat/chat.php?chatId=195
(free)

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 12:07 PM PDT reply actions

i'll take the over

by rubin sierra on May 23, 2006 12:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Diary title

Has it occurred to anyone that this diary should have been sung to the tune of my favorite Brittany Spears hit?

by rubin sierra on May 23, 2006 1:09 PM PDT reply actions

letting Jeepers open the Dump

is like letting Jeffery Dahmer pick the cafeteria menu.

by Apricot on May 23, 2006 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions

LOL.

I don't know about Jeffrey Dahmer. I am partial to some liver with a nice Chianti, though.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions

FINE.

I'll do it again.
I'll open the dump, what am I, a chump?
Oh baby baby.

FINE.
You think I'm insane,
"Cause I loves me some MICE on pla-anes
I'm not that Wi-ta-sick.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 1:21 PM PDT up reply actions

Wow.

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions

Dump me, baby, one more time

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions

Jeepers is Britney Spears?!?!

Whoa, AN is just dripping with the celebs!

Justin Duchscherer = Justin Duchscherer
californiagirl = Jay Witasick
baseballgirl = Joe Kennedy

by calgbear on May 23, 2006 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions

Actually, at one point yesterday...

'Justin Duchscherer' was actually MICHELE Duchscherer...

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 1:45 PM PDT up reply actions

And I am actually michellekaweah

"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time."

-Catfish Hunter

by kaweahkaweah on May 23, 2006 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions

Actually...

...I actually like the word "actually."

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 2:14 PM PDT up reply actions

Actually, I agree

"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time."

-Catfish Hunter

by kaweahkaweah on May 23, 2006 2:27 PM PDT up reply actions

stop calling her "Actually"

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions

Can he call her "Figuratively?"

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Actually

I thought she'd like being called "Actually"

"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time."

-Catfish Hunter

by kaweahkaweah on May 23, 2006 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions

David <expletive> Wells

Regarding his quotes suggesting that David Dellucci and Craig Biggio were suspected of using steroids, David Wells had this to say:

We were just making conversation. I wasn't accusing him or anything of the sort. So the (expletive) who did it, or the (expletives) who did it, I think they need to eat a full bowl of (expletive). And you can quote me on that. (Expletives).

"eat a full bowl of (expletive)"?

Skwirl?

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 1:27 PM PDT reply actions

Well, he certainly is nuts...

Dorian on Bonds: "Still, I love it when Bonds wins at the game that he plays."

by FormerHuntsvilleStar on May 23, 2006 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions

Is this new?

Keys to sophomore success

Part of Swish's "Sophomore Year" series on ESPN.

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 1:41 PM PDT reply actions

I think so.

Have you watched the video yet? It completely cracked me up towards the beginning, right towards the end of the part where the fans are entering the stadium. I think Homer Simpson's best friend attended that ballgame...

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions

It's really the audio, not the video.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes!

That is definitely new! WOO!

"Now, I'm not the guy who's in trouble, it's the guy on the mound who's in trouble.'' Swisher Pics

by BobbyCrosbysGirl on May 23, 2006 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions

californiagirl

Is the most popular transexual on this site... And it was all created by you, jeepers.

Reed (to Carl Everett): Go f*ck a gay dinosaur, Bigot!-Lookout Landing

by ohad on May 23, 2006 2:14 PM PDT reply actions

Tranny Nation! ;)

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 2:16 PM PDT up reply actions

Disc Brake Nation!

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions

Lube Job Nation!

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 2:20 PM PDT up reply actions

Stick that F'in Thing Out There Nation?

STFTOTN?

Reed (to Carl Everett): Go f*ck a gay dinosaur, Bigot!-Lookout Landing

by ohad on May 23, 2006 2:23 PM PDT up reply actions

I'm Not Jay Witasick Nation

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 2:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Can't take that credit :-).

I don't know what it was that inspired rookieoftheyear, but wow.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 2:18 PM PDT up reply actions

stop IT

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions

Sounds like Jay needs a hug

which would be easier to get if he were a 16 year old girl instead of a hairy-bellied journeyman pitcher.

by Rickeyfan on May 23, 2006 2:32 PM PDT up reply actions

Jay Witasick was in Journey?

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions

Mike Wood is in Kansas

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions

Jermaine Dye is in Chicago.

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions

I'll go ahead and do the other one...

since I have to go.

Keith Foulke is in Boston.

by Jennifer on May 23, 2006 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions

dammit.

Matt Watson is in Asia.

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions

niiiiiiiiiiice!

Keiichi Yabu is in America.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions

David Wells is in Chumbawumba

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 3:09 PM PDT up reply actions

<appeals to crew chief>

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions

Manny Ramirez is in Boston

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions

since i am 16 i'll get one and this isn't funny

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions

Is Larry Davis a reliable source for hugs?

I hope that bear of a man isn't the one responsible for all those oblique injuries.

by Rickeyfan on May 23, 2006 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions

go find a bar of soap and wash out your

filthy mouth, then go to a doctor for a brain transplant. IF NOT, GO TO HELL!

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions

Wow Jay

If you showed this kind of fire earlier in your career, you would've been a better pitcher. And you'd have 16 year old fangirls, instead of trying to pretend to be one.

by Rickeyfan on May 23, 2006 3:09 PM PDT up reply actions

really, this isn't funny

i joined AN to follow the A's. if you want me to leave just say so. but at least let me be who i am, a 16 year old girl.

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions

Don't take any of it seriously.

You're welcome here.

Guys, maybe we should back off on scaring the newbies?

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions

ya, don't send them into hysterics

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions

what, like, all you 4-digiters?

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions

Low blow, buddy.

But, for the record, I am the first of the 4-digiters and I do speak as the voice of their collective wisdom.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 3:24 PM PDT up reply actions

Boo!

Sal, sal, sal ... never pass up an easy softball opportunity for an onanism joke.

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions

Watch your mouth.

We've got 16-year olds hanging out here.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions

<looks for mirror>

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 3:56 PM PDT up reply actions

It's all in good fun, californiagirl

AN really isn't a terrifying place. ....sometimes. :D You'll learn to love it.

by Squeaky on May 23, 2006 4:00 PM PDT up reply actions

i do love AN

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 4:10 PM PDT up reply actions

AN loves you too, californiaJay :)

by Rickeyfan on May 23, 2006 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions

And it is intended in good fun.

Seriously. No malice intended.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions

<sickeningly sweet group hug>

I own too many darn shoes!

by californiagirl on May 23, 2006 4:23 PM PDT up reply actions

4 out of 5 unethical dentists recommend them!

</ripping off Nico's jokes>

the bears were hungry and the monkey looked a lot like lunch @('.')@

by monkeyball on May 23, 2006 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions

<Keeps hands away from Jay's belly hair>

by Rickeyfan on May 23, 2006 5:32 PM PDT up reply actions

The only reason YOU'RE not terrified...

...is because your head's in a bubble.

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 5:00 PM PDT up reply actions

You really think that's Swisher?

Too bad one of you didn't help him write it...where's the real Nick...unscripted??
oh, that's on channel 36, right?

"Listen, my attitude is a whole lot better when we win..." Our favorite GM

by LongTimeFan on May 23, 2006 2:34 PM PDT reply actions

Just another day in the DLD.

Just wanna say... GO A's!!!

"Huston actually bakes real cookies. Which is why Swisher bakes better cookies than Huston." ~ Sharon

by AsGirl on May 23, 2006 3:18 PM PDT reply actions

Whoa

T-Long sighting. Batting 8th for the Evil Empire.

"The lineup! My God...the lineup!" ~ baseballgirl

by eamb on May 23, 2006 4:10 PM PDT reply actions

Thar he blows!

As long as he doesn't blow in our outfield anymore.

Can intangibles exist? Only the ones you can touch.

by salb918 on May 23, 2006 4:11 PM PDT up reply actions

For the good of baseball

T-Long should never be allowed near a bat!

"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time."

-Catfish Hunter

by kaweahkaweah on May 23, 2006 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions

I guess the 0-4 last night

Plus the brutally butchered fly ball in the OF, was good enough for another start.

"The first night, we were right there," Bradley said. "All we needed was a couple of touchdowns, and we would have had them."

by jeepers on May 23, 2006 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions

at least this time

when he made the final out in a game against the red sox, he actually took a swing.

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on May 23, 2006 4:14 PM PDT up reply actions

worthless runs?

I was listening to KNBR at lunch today, on the off-chance that they would be talking about anything other than the Giants, and was happy to hear that there were talking about the A's. The happiness didn't last long. They mentioned the warm reception that Thomas got and then called his 2 HRs pointless because the A's didn't win the game.

I couldn't beleive it! Without those 2 runs we wouldn't have made it to extra innings. If a couple of pitches were better placed, or a couple of balls hadn't left the infield those 2 runs would have made all the difference in the world! Not to mention the boost they probably gave to Thomas' ego and comfort at the plate which will hopefully carry through this series and into the next.

Am I wrong to believe that 2 runs in almost any game (unless you are being beaten 16-0) shouldn't be considered worthless? Were their comments A's hate? or just stupidity?

by twinkle toes on May 23, 2006 6:02 PM PDT reply actions

It was KNBR

All home runs are worthless except Barry Bonds'.

"Oysters were not considered as potential predators to use on the plane." ~~ Rubin Sierra

by Poppy on May 23, 2006 6:12 PM PDT up reply actions

Scout who signed Pujols fired by Cards

and now works at Wal-Mart!

from bbtf:
http://www.sunherald.com/mld/sunherald/sports/baseball/14646725.htm

But how could they release the scout who signed Albert Pujols? Who could be more productive than that?

"In the old days, that wouldn't have happened, and I wouldn't have wanted to keep a job just because I signed Albert Pujols," said Karaff, who also signed pitcher Braden Looper, the Cardinals' first-round pick from Wichita State in 1996, among others. "I don't think I was that bad a scout to lose my job."

In 2001, Karaff had moved to Hot Springs, near the home of his wife, Jannette, and for the next two years, he covered his territory from there. After Karaff was fired by the Cardinals, he tried to retire but needed insurance benefits, so he took the job at Wal-Mart.

A's v Giants "is kind of like the difference between going to see the Ramones and going to see the Bee Gees. A's fans will go see the Ramones." -BB 07/27/05

by xbhaskarx on May 23, 2006 8:56 PM PDT reply actions

Network Bar

Athletics Nation -

DLD 5/23/06: Fine, I'll do it. Again.

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