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Daric Barton: Career Athletic

Daric Barton will be a career Oakland Athletic

He will retire at age 36 after being DFA'd 20 times with no other teams ever picking him up. Every now and again, he will tease us with something that looks like 2010, but fall back into 2011-2012 production. His 16 year career as an Athletic/River Cat will be unparalleled, enshrined as an immortal. On this day of his retirement, there would be a massive celebration all over the East Bay in honor of Daric Barton. Enormous banners will be covering the nearly decade old eastern span of the Bay Bridge. The Bay Lights on the western span will carry his face. Oakland will have a parade. Billboards all over the city advertising the massive event.

The A's still at the coliseum, but sold out 20 minutes after the news was tweeted by Susan Slusser. AN will hold a massive tailgate; anyone who ever participated in a Daric Barton argument will attend, from the old farts of AN to the now old farts of AN. T-shirts will be passed out with Daric's face on it. Some guy will show up with a Jack Cust jersey. The Athletics will be giving away bobbleheads in honor of Barton's career featuring Daric watching strike three. The lines to get these bobbleheads will wrap around the entire coliseum complex. The Sacramento River Cats retire his jersey number along with Michael Taylor, Rivercat immortal. The national media wanting in on the action, interview everyone from Geren, to Bobby Crosby, to Billy Beane(who now sports, count em', three WS rings.) Mt. Davis will be renamed to Mt. Barton. It will be a truly epic day, one for the books. The following year, Billy Beane will hire him as the new manager of the Athletics as Melvin retires.

Daric Barton: Oakland Athletic.

Immortal

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