Recap: A's Fit In 9-2 Loss Before Lunchtime

Taylor, this is not what we meant when we said we wanted to "send you down." - Jason Miller

That Drew Carey was full of shit. Cleveland does not rock.

For the 4th straight game, the Oakland A's could not compete with the Cleveland Indians.

Unlike the previous three games, however, this one was never close.

Combined, they lost the first three games by only six runs; the deficit in this game alone was seven (9-2 final).

Kazmir was brilliant for Cleveland, allowing just a garbage time solo homer to Josh Donaldson while striking out 10 batters in six innings.

Athletics hitters reportedly smashed line drives all over the park, but they all went directly at Cleveland defenders because Baseball Zeus is angry at Oakland for some reason and is a spiteful deity.

Naturally, I can't speak for any of this because MLB wouldn't allow me to pay them any amount of money to watch a broadcast of this game thanks to their ridiculous blackout policies and the lack of a local TV broadcast.

Gargantuan Colon was largely ineffective for his third straight start, this time allowing six runs in four innings despite not walking a batter (season: 27 strikeouts, one walk, only six homers in 41.1 innings).

Evan Scribner wasn't any better in his mop-up relief appearance, although he did his job by eating three innings and saving the rest of the bullpen for the upcoming trip to Seattle.

Little else to say about this game, because the play-by-play mostly reads, "And then the Indians hit another homer while the A's left runners on base."

Hey, did you know that Scott Kazmir, who just made his fifth start since 2010, is only 29 years old?

Everyone is rooting for Kazmir to get his career back on track after it was derailed by injuries and wildness, but couldn't he have waited until next week to throw his first gem of the season?

Reynolds swatted his 11th homer for the Indians and is hitting even better than his 44-homer, .892 OPS career year of 2009.

Nick Swisher also homered (for the second straight game), but it's just impossible to hate him, especially since he's not playing for the Yankees anymore (and he's from Ohio, which makes it even cooler that he's playing for Cleveland).

Adam Rosales got on base four times from the leadoff spot (two hits, two walks), and has been one of Oakland's most consistent hitters lately (.318/.400/.477 in 52 PA's so far); he may as well keep leading off until Coco gets back.

Nobody got hurt today, which is sort of a silver lining, meaning that Oakland's DL only contains an entire starting outfield (Coco/Young/Reddick), two infielders (Sizemore and Hiro), and their Opening Day starting pitcher (Anderson).

Daric Barton's beard actually makes me like him more, and softens the blow of the loss of Reddick's beard (I was in the overwhelming minority of people who liked Reddick's facial monstrosity, because beards are the coolest things ever).

Even Yoenis Cespedes was helpless today, picking up the hat trick of suck by striking out in all three of his at-bats.

Zero-Sixty-Three is the number of the day: That is Michael Taylor's batting average after recording his first hit of the season (now 1-for-16, but with only one strikeout), and I don't think that there is a single fan who thinks that Taylor belongs in the Majors right now (or ever).

If you're the masochistic type, then tune in tomorrow at 7:10pm to see Dan Straily take on Hisashi Iwakuma and the Seattle Mariners. Hey, at least it's not Felix. Nico will be your host.

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