Seth Smith Part II: We're Going to Kill This Topic

Well, first, his name is Altrock. Alt-rock. Alternative Rock. I mean, c’mon. How can you not be cool?

Altrock was a great pitcher and a greater personality. To get of sense of the guy, here’s a quote about his birth:

Nicholas Altrock was born in Cincinnati on September 15, 1876. He used to joke, “the country was born in 1776 and Nick Altrock was born in 1876. But somehow my parents slipped up. I should have been born on the Fourth of July.”

Altrock was a young hotshot who was first signed by an MLB club at the age of 21 with Louisville Colonals (pro ball in Louisville, good times). He performed okay but had this penchant for partying and general lack of seriousness. He was cut from the squad and didn’t get back to Show ’till 1903. He was signed by the dominant Boston Red Sox, led by Cy Young. No room in that rotation for a youngster, so he was shipped to Chicago where he made his name.

Altrock was an amazing pitcher from 1904-1906 with the Chicago White Sox. He was part of what was perhaps the best rotation ever assembled on the ’06 White Sox WS Championship team. This was the deadball era, so the league ERA average was a pretty low 2.60

Here was what the five guys from Chicago did:

Frank Owen: 2.33
Roy Patterson: 2.09
Nick Altrock: 2.06
Ed Walsh: 1.88
Doc White: 1.52

The Murderer’s Row of pitching. More on the group here. Just wow!

Altrock suffered an injury that offseason. He was still something of a hard party-goer. Not sure if that caused the injury but he apparently didn’t work too hard on recovery. He had two more mediocre seasons, which wasn’t good enough on the hitless-wonder, all-pitching White Sox squad (hmm, blueprint for the modern A’s). He was traded and never held a steady MLB starting job again.

So how’d he get appearances in three more decades? Well that’s the best part of this story. Altrock was always a goof on the diamond. No doubt bored coaching third base for his minor league squad in Kansas City…

he decided to imitate a film he had seen the previous night of a shadow boxing exhibition featuring featherweight champion Johnny Kilbane. Altrock opened with a roundhouse right to his own chin and fell to the ground. Then he picked himself up and went at himself again, as the crowd roared in bemused delight. Nick finished by knocking himself out to raucous applause.

Kansas City was not amused, but one other guy was. Clark Griffith, an MLB legend (HOFer, star pitcher, manager, and eventual owner of the Washington Senators, took a liking to Altrock’s clowning ways.

The Senators hired Altrock on as a "comedy coacher "in 1912. This was a team that already had legendary prankster Germany Schaefer (the man who stole first base) on the roster. So Altrock was a natural fit.

Over the years he would pull many shenanigans. Here’s a good one:

One day the Senators were losing to a strong Cleveland pitcher named Vean Gregg. Griffith turned to his rubber-faced acquisition and said, “What good are you?”

Nick said seriously, “I’m the king’s jester.” Then he asked, “Do you really want to win this game?”

Griffith said, “With your pitching I suppose?”

Altrock said, “No. With my coaching.” Altrock talked Griffith into sending him to the first base coaching box. The next time Griffith looked out to the field he saw Nick in a heap on the ground finishing a pantomime of a man who spiked himself with his own shoe. Gregg was laughing so hard he started heaving the ball over the middle and the Senators starting hitting. Altrock morphed the routine into a full wrestling pantomime, pinning himself for a victory. Finally, home plate umpire Silk O’Loughlin, himself doubled over with laughter, ordered him to stop.

Altrock would sporadically make appearances as a pitcher or pinch batter though the years. Often this occurred on the last day of the season, traditionally held as a gag game of sorts during this gentler time is history. He earned his 5-decade title in 1931 and would gain a further record in 1933 during his final appearance, at age 58. His at-bat was the last appearance of a 19th century player in an MLB game, cemented quite the legacy as ace pitcher, 5-decade player, and Clown Prince of Baseball.