I believe it was Kyli who declared that when Civil War comes to the AL West (and trust me, people--it's coming), it will be the A's and Mariners who declare war upon the Slegna and the Fat Red Staters.
Now I'm fairly certain that on the baseball field, their collective 50 would beat the living bejeezus out of ourn. Josh Hamilton alone could probably kill our entire squad and Chris Townsend before we even put a dent in him.
But...if it were blogs...hell, we could just send Jeff with a bowie knife into the unholy epicenter known as Arlington, and Marquez67 into Anaheim with a bottle of whiskey and the scent of elephant blood and it's game over.
So...it's too bad that the coolness of collective Oakland/Seattle can't whup up on the the Anaheim/Arlington double-down of lameness. It's unfortunate that we must seek to destroy and conquer our brothers and sisters from the Emerald City. It's unfortunate we have to face them 19 times, as that's a collective 38 games we could be trying to beat the Slegna or the Rangers. Then again, if either team gets good again, we can lose to the other in order to cause pain.
Sometimes I'm too tangential. But it's hard for me to get excited and/or emotionally frothy to play what is essentially a group of cuddly penguins. In fact, I think we should rename them that. The Seattle Cuddly Penguins. That's about how I feel about them, much like Mitch Hedberg feels about frogs:
I've never said, "Here comes that frog" in a horrifying manner. It's always optimistic. "Hey, here comes that frog! Fantastic! Maybe he will settle near me, so I can pet him."
But we must play out the string. Tonight, a Moose and a Pig tag team to try to beat Cuddly Penguins. It's at the Coliseum, and I'm sure there's tickets, so get off your butt if you're near and not otherwise occupied and get to the game. It'll be a good, fun atmosphere and maybe you'll get to, I dunno, get to see an A's win or something.
The Cuddly Penguins counter our Moose Costco with Jason Vargas. He's from Apple Valley, CA, went to Long Beach State and calls his mother at least twice a week. He's a good boy.
Oh, and don't look now, but we got some new guy playing right field tonight. Huh.
Lineups are from Susan Slusser.
- Ichiro Suzuki, EF
- Franklin Gutierrez, CF
- Dustin Ackley, 2B
- Mike Carp, 1B
- Justin Smoak, DH
- Miguel Olivo, C
- Kyle Seager, 3B
- Casper Wells, LF
- Brendan Ryan, SS