The first two games have been brutally awfully horribly terrible to watch. Or not watch, since Comcast kills puppies for sport. Apparently the A's, in partnership with Yale's Molecular Biology Department, have devoted the 2011 season to testing whether Craig Breslow can pitch in, and ruin, 162 games. But it really could be worse:
* Like me, you would gladly have sold your soul to the devil in exchange for a promise that the 2011 A's would have the same record as the Red Sox. So far, so good.
* We could be pitching our #3 starter today, and it could be Matt Harrison instead of Gio Gonzalez. Please let "the back of the rotation" decide the AL West this year.
* Our starting rotation could be Kevin Correia, Paul Maholm, Ross Ohlendorf, Charlie Morton, and James McDonald. I'll leave it to you to guess which of those Pirates' starting pitchers had a farm, and which ones were 1-11, 2-12, and 9-15 last year.
* We could be complaining that our injured left-handed reliever was abused by our crosstown rival Mets, because they pitched him a major league record 344 times over a 4-year period, and have to listen to the Mets reply, "Didn't you know this when you decided to sign him to an $8million contract?" At least our overpaid sucky left-handed reliever is healthy, and we don't come across as whiny morons when he doesn't work out so well.
One of these days, hopefully today, the A's will come out of their collective "I'm trying too hard, and the result is that it I look like a Little Leaguer with his glove on the wrong hand" funk, and will start playing some real division-contending baseball. Remember, in baseball you're never as good as you seem when you're "up" and you're never as bad as you seem when you're "down" -- and right now, thank God for that!