Earth Day was not good to Green, but Post-Earth Day is.

Hello, and again welcome to the Athletics Nation Post Game Post Recap Thread. We hope that your experience in the Game Thread has been a pleasant one. Your username has been processed and we are now ready to begin the recap proper. Before we start, however, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of all Athletics Nation activities, serious flaming may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please asidansdasd ok I don’t know how much I longer I can keep that up.

The A’s did something strange today. They scored runs. Multiple runs. And hit homers. Multiple homers.

The game started off on a down note, as in the bottom of the 2^nd inning Jack Wilson singled to score Chris Gimenez to give the Mariners a 1-0 lead. The A’s responded, however, grabbing a run in the next half inning with a Coco Crisp to drive in Mark Ellis. But, alas, the A’s would frustrate us as Lady GaGa at third base held up Coco Crisp on a Conor  Jackson single, preventing him from scoring (Mike Gallego was trying to hold up Barton, but threw up the stop sign too early). Many A’s fans feared, as Josh Willingham flew out to center, that all was lost.

But what is this? Just hours after a large diatribe by some random person who will not be named called out Cliff Pennington and Kevin Kouzmanoff as offensive sinkholes and promoted their replacement with competence, an offensive explosion rang out led by… Cliff Pennington and Kevin Kouzmanoff?

While the 4^th did not start out strong, with Hideku Matsui striking out, Kurt Suzuki managed a walk and even stole 2^nd during Mark Ellis’s doomed at bat, to score on a Kevin Kouzmanoff single (yes, that Kouzmanoff…), who then scored on Cliff Pennington’s home run, which was made official by Grant Balfour signaling the runs from the bullpen. Yes, I said homerun. Yes, you heard me, I said Cliff Pennington. Dwell on that.

The score stood 4-1 and Trevor Cahill, after starting out very shaky (determined to throw a wild pitch every at bat in the first inning) turned in an awesome start.

In the 6^th, the A’s unloaded even more. Matsui led off again, but this time managed a walk, followed by a Kurt Suzuki single to get the A’s 1^st and 2^nd. Mark Ellis, for reasons unknown, decided to bunt the runners over, to give us 1 out and no GIDP. And then explosions happened. Kevin Kouzmanoff came up and hit a three run bomb over the left field wall. Yes, I said homerun. Yes, you heard me, I said Kevin Kouzmanoff. Mind. Blown.

But that was not all, Pennington (again!) followed up Kouzmanoff’s homerun with a single, stole 2^nd, and was knocked in by Coco Crisp on a double. After a Barton BB, Conor Jackson singled to bring in Crisp, who was determined to score this time, Gallego be damned.

The score stood 9-1 A’s. Yes, 9-1… I am shocked just writing it, so I can imagine how shocking it is reading it. 9-1 A’s, and that’s how it stood the rest of the game.

Unleash the power.

Notes:

• Coco Crisp had 2 doubles, and a single today, so his ailments appear to be receding.
• I am still in shock of Cliff Pennington and Kevin Kouzmanoff coming through this game. Truly shocked. Perhaps they read my article and decided to imitate Wright and Reyes?
• The A’s scored runs! Off the starting pitcher, too! That I find amazing in itself.
• I find it ironic that the last play of the game was Pennington running into Kouzmanoff in order to throw out the runner for the final out.
•  Dear Ray Fosse, the A’s needed, not an excellent stopper pitching performance today, but for the offense to show up. They got both. And that is awesome.
• The Bitey Parrot is our new AN Mascot. As soon as we started the Bitey Parrot thread, we scored runs. Eight runs. We scored 1 run outside of the Bitey Parrot.