FanPost

It's the off-season, so this is a post about BaconLube

Baconlube_medium

When you combine sex and bacon, it could be a sign of the end of times, it's that good.



Hi. My name is OptimistPrime. 

I am not Billy Beane, but I do play him in a major motion picture.

 

It's been a tumultuous year, to say the least, for both me and the A's. My season ended in such a manner that baseball became irrelevant, and thus I just haven't been on here much. But that was then, and this is now. BaconLube is responsible for coaxing me out of my shell. I had to share.

 

This past week we had the annual thrashing of OP's house, and I must say, it was so much fun to have everyone over to Chez OP. I did have to drain the hot tub afterwards in Caddyshack fashion, but other than that and the occasional half empty beer bottle discovered like a cleverly concealed easter egg, the Chez faired well.

 

I did promise to talk about BaconLube, but I don't have any experience with it, so all I can offer is conjecture. I can envision having a BaconLube wrestling pit next time, and the main event can be Tittle vs. Bieber. Oh, the humanity.

 

You may have noticed I dropped off Facebook recently. Don't fret, I am not spiraling into the abyss. And at some point I may even be back. You see, there is a certain someone whose face pops up every time I log in. I can't unfriend her, that would be very wrong. And then there is the whole last message she sent me being on Facebook as her way of signing off, so there's that. You know where I live, you have my email, phone, etc. and I have yours. Please don't hesitate to reach out.

 

I wonder how BaconLube differs from actual bacon grease, in texture and flavor? That could be really taste or upchuckingly disgusting, depending on your personal palette for flavors and textures.

 

This is an AN post, so I should comment on our mutual love. Being the resident Optimist, I feel obliged to write something optimistic. I hope I am still dating a supermodel by the start of next season. Going to the games with a hot actress in tow should be fun. Sorry, that's all I have. Well, that, and I look forward to seeing Dallas back in action. I am also highly anticipating seeing what antiquated over the hill has-beens we roll out this season. That's always fun. Damn Frank Thomas! It works once so we have to keep doing it.

 

I lost 40 bucks at the poker game. And I am really not sure if I was just sucking at poker or if I was just throwing money at every hand trying to be a good host. I do know however that trying to teach Kylie how to play Omaha Hi-Lo is about as easy as wrasslin' greased pigs that don't wanna get caught. Not that Kylie is a pig mind you, because I am quite fond of the lass.

 

And how can I not mention Rick Tittle. Rick Frickin' Tittle! Usually, in my experience, these media types that cozy up to us are never really one of us. Rick Tittle is an AN'er who also happens to be in the media. What a cool cat.

 

I really have nothing to say except I have missed you all here on AN and please know that after some massive personal setbacks, I am still kicking, still keeping the torch for our Green and Gold, and plan on contributing nothing here, as per usual.

 

BaconLube. Wow. 

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