Mainly, because he's a complete, brain-dead moron, and his drooling will eventually cost you your Italian loafers.

Proof.

Proof 2

I was a fan of Deion before being reminded of this incident.  But now...well, thanks, Deion.  Seriously.  

Thank you.  Twenty years later.  

I think you should have created a ritual where you do this every year, like Punxsutawney Phil--if McCarver is doused in ice water and can still see his penis, then...

Bob Finnian from here offers up the Tim McCarver drinking game:

The McCarver Drinking Game
Here's how to play:
Get a bottle of your favorite booze and a shot glass and...
1: Drink every time Tim uses a multi-syllable word incorrectly.
2: Drink every time Tim states the obvious like it is a profound insight.
3: Drink every time Tim calls the play wrong.
4: Drink every time Tim gets a player's name wrong.
5: Drink every time one of Tim's inane comments is met with stoney silence by the other broadcasters in the booth.
My guarantee is you'll be drunk by the bottom of the 1st inning!

And Joe Buck.  [sigh] ....well, here's Jay Mohrs take on Joe Buck:

I became extremely depressed yesterday when I realized that EVERY BIG BASEBALL GAME UNTIL I DIE will probably be announced by two guys I literally cannot stand.

Jesus, please, do something.

Cheese Boy for the FRS and some guy named Jaime Garcia for the Cards, tonight at 5:05pm.  Just be sure to mute it.