FanPost

Musical Interlude: Chris Carter


I must say that I, like many others, miss the Musical Interludes of AN past.  They were clever, they were fun, and they stretched AN fandom in a new direction.  Surely then, the coming of our lord and savior Chris Carter deserves the revival of such a storied AN tradition.  (Warning!  Lyrics in the video are NSFW!)

This one's for you, Monkeyball.

 

(panting)

aaaaaaAAAAAHHHH

(chorus)

Carter-san, Carter-san

Six-foot-eight, weighs a f**king ton

Angels beware, Rangers beware

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming

 

(Verse 1)

Let me lay it on the line, he had 27 past the line

I mean, 27 home runs.  So divine.

With a glove made of leather he patrols the land

In his cleats with his bat in his perfect hands.

Here comes Chris, in control

Women dig his long ball and his gallant stroll

He eats opponents brains

And he'll win us some games

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming

 

(chorus)

Carter-san, Carter-san

Six-foot-twenty, f**king mashing for fun

Left field, first base, or DH

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming

 

(Verse 2)

Sue me if I go too fast,

But the sons of Angels fans wish that he was their dad

On his head he's got a helmet

And a fire in his heart

He'll smash you apart!  He'll smash you apart!

OOOOooo!!

 

(bridge)

He'll save children, but not the slegnA children

He'll save children, but not the Rangers children

He'll save children, but not the Red Sox children

He'll save children, but no the Yankees children

 

(Verse 3)

He's got a pocket full of power

Mashes balls in the air

Hit a pitch into heaven

And can kill with a stare.

Drives in runners like an eagle hunting out in the sky

Took his hitting coach deep and he never said why

 

(chorus)

Carter-san, Carter-san

12 stories high, made of radiation

The present beware, the future beware

He's coming, he's coming, he's coming

 

(outro)

Did I mention his 27 dingers?

Well, he also has 29 doubles.

If you took off his cleats, you'd see the power growing out of his feet

Well ... I heard that .. like... guy had like 145 career minor league homers

...he once held an opponent's pitcher's hand in a ... jar of acid ... at a party

 

(panting)

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

Join Athletics Nation

You must be a member of Athletics Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Athletics Nation. You should read them.

Join Athletics Nation

You must be a member of Athletics Nation to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Athletics Nation. You should read them.

Spinner

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9351_tracker