FanPost

"We Don't Have A Strasburg" (An A's Fan Lament)

Since they won today, this won't seem so desperate. But it is what it is. I understand the impact on the draft of horrible seasons.  The A's haven't had one of those in over a decade. We are on the wheel of mediocrity. It's tough to get off. But here it is:

 

We don't have a Strasburg, or even a Price.

No Evan Longoria-- though he'd sure be nice.

 

No Jason Heyward, no Harper, Bryce.

Not even an Upton, and if you want my advice.

 

You can't get it done, with lots of "OKs"

They'll hit 260 or so, at only half the pay.

 

Show flashes of brilliance, 'til the arm gets sore.

And if it's real brilliance, well then out the door.

 

We're the most mediocre bunch, that anyone's seen.

All thanks to a lousy home, and a genius named Beane.

 

Our GM's a rock star, to be played by Brad Pitt.

But why can't he find someone who can hit??

 

Another game in the 6th, ask my bud "how we farin'?"

His reply is quick, that $%#&$#* Bob Geren!!

 

"He mishandles the switch, screws up the pen

And he hasn't pitched out in I don't know when."

 

There were issues with Art, and Ken, we are fans.

But please for this job, he can't really be the BEST MAN??

 

Our owner seems to be a Wolff, in the clothes of a sheep.

Of commitment to our town, there's nary a peep.

 

We've mastered the mediocre, firmed up the fair.

Tarped up the 3rd deck, is anyone still there?

 

No Howard or Pujols, Utley or Braun.

And if we ever had one, well they'd soon be movin' on.

 

No we don't have a Strasburg, and none on the way.

If you've got God-given talent, you're not an Oakland A.

 

We don't have a Strasburg, not tomorrow, not today.

Perhaps we will down the Valley-- does anyone know the way??

 

 


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