Things I'm scared of.

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By Leopold Bloom on Feb 11 2010, 12:22a 338

Namely sock puppets.

ACK!

How they spawn:

These two are high on PCP. Angel dust. They could open coke bottles with their mouths when they're on the stuff.

These two are about to attack this defenseless, mentally handicapped girl. So sad:

We must fight this pro-sock puppet agenda that the media is only too willing to profligate:

The reality. Don't hide the truth from your kids. It will only come back to haunt them later in life.

As always, teach them young, so this doesn't happen to you:

Drugged out, over-sexed and soulless. They harbor no love for humanity. Flee before it's too late.

6% Harmless fun, you crazy bastard. (13 votes)
2% The cause of all that's evil in the world today. (6 votes)
1% The reason my daughter left home at 15. (3 votes)
10% Probably as good as the left side of our infield. (22 votes)
6% Responsible for delivering Jeter's soul to Satan. (13 votes)
9% Completely devoid of any A's content whatsoever. (20 votes)
4% No, seriously, have the signs just driven you completely batshit crazy or what? (10 votes)
2% A terrible, terrible blight upon this great country of ours. (5 votes)
55% Ahead of Travis Buck on Billy Beane's depth chart. (115 votes)