Things I'm scared of.
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 12:22 AM PST
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Namely sock puppets.
ACK!
How they spawn:
These two are high on PCP. Angel dust. They could open coke bottles with their mouths when they're on the stuff.
These two are about to attack this defenseless, mentally handicapped girl. So sad:
We must fight this pro-sock puppet agenda that the media is only too willing to profligate:
The reality. Don't hide the truth from your kids. It will only come back to haunt them later in life.
As always, teach them young, so this doesn't happen to you:
Drugged out, over-sexed and soulless. They harbor no love for humanity. Flee before it's too late.
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They like to get fisted jpg
1) AWESOME pic
2) Even AWESOMER punch line
3) The AWESOMEST part is the jpeg properties which contain puppets-funny-humor-obama
"-i never said half the things i said." --Yogi Berra
Where is your god now?
In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. ~ Thomas Jefferson
"The A's get some action but they do not score..." -Glen Kuiper
"Anyone who calls themselves the Angels Angels should have to start over and ride the short bus." -timmeh from McCovey Chronicles
his look of surprise is just a clever ruse to
lull you into a false sense of safety and joviality. When your guard is down, this little green bastard will go straight for your jugular. Don’t doubt it.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 1:03 AM PST up reply actions
I'll be
"The A's get some action but they do not score..." -Glen Kuiper
"Anyone who calls themselves the Angels Angels should have to start over and ride the short bus." -timmeh from McCovey Chronicles
You motherfucker
My heart nearly stopped seeing that.
Clowns FTW. And by “win,” I mean “most evil scary things on the planet.”
I fear clowns more than AIDS.
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 11, 2010 1:10 PM PST up reply actions
I thought FTW stood for
“Fuck The World.”
which, of course, is what clowns do EVERY DAY.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 1:17 PM PST up reply actions
when I read FTW,
that’s usually what goes through my head too. But they both work in most situations, it’s just that the poster comes off a bit more belligerent in our version.
I prefer that version, too.
But “for the win” seems to be gaining in popularity these days.
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:16 AM PST up reply actions
Not just you.
That’s what I think. (But I couldn’t figure out how to spell it!)
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
Wanna come back to my place?
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
As a member of the Colbert Nation......
I must inform you that the scariest things in the world, along with being a significant National Security risk, are……
Bears!!
"I mean, come on, man. I'm a vet. Don't talk to me like that. If they do, I'll just smile." Nnamdi Asomugha
mmm.... carne de burro.....
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:20 PM PST up reply actions
that's a fine ass
I suspect that you think tilting at windmills means something other than what it does.
The ninth fastest thirty year old in San Francisco
the one on the right or the one on the left?
"No matter what I talk about, I always get back to baseball." - Connie Mack
Now THATs funny!
"I mean, come on, man. I'm a vet. Don't talk to me like that. If they do, I'll just smile." Nnamdi Asomugha
by s0sNe@kYbUtY? on Feb 12, 2010 8:52 AM PST up reply actions
I went to high school with a guy who looked like the first one
"Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I'm trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?" - Rickey
The eyeballs on that first one are way disturbing.
don't grow up too fast / and don't embrace the past / this life's too good to last
On the FIRST one? What about the rest of them?!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:01 AM PST up reply actions
The first one had the surprise factor going for it.
Hmm, I wonder what this post will be…. AAack! It’s a sock puppet with crazy eyeballs!!
After that I got desensitized. Plus protuberant eyeballs are just more creepy than googly eyes and buttons.
don't grow up too fast / and don't embrace the past / this life's too good to last
do not talk about ocksay uppetsay
or EopoldLe LoomBe will create an itstormshe.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 10:47 AM PST up reply actions
uppetspay...
now he’s totally gonna notice it now!
WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 10:47 AM PST up reply actions
oh shit.. I thought I was in another thread even...
I think I need to go smoke some prop 215… my early morning sober brain is starting to wink out on me!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 10:49 AM PST up reply actions
Yes, sock puppets are evil, but...
they’re the true backbone of our economy today.
Without sock puppets doing all the work that illegal immigrants used to do, our nation would collapse, and we would be forced to eat each other for food on a regular basis,
whereas, the sock puppets only eat us for food every rare once in a while.
Statistically, I have to be pro-puppet, although surely I would not allow one of THEM into my home or place of business.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
I'm speechless.
I can’t believe you’ve come out publicly in favor of sock puppets.
I will DESTROY you and your pro-sock puppet agenda.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:03 AM PST up reply actions
You get two, count 'em TWO sock puppets
for the same price as one illegal immigrant. How can you go wrong?
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
See, now you're just making me think of Jeff Dunham
I hate Jeff Dunham.
Don’t do it again, LB.
In God We Trust....All Others Must Show Data
by Wes7 on Feb 11, 2010 8:50 AM PST reply actions 4 recs
Well, we agree on that, anyhow.
I see NO reason why he should be…allowed in public, much less have his own show and apparently a lot of fans. Unless they’re all just being tragically ironic.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:02 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
I will Rec any post that points out that Jeff Dunham is a completely useless "comedian"
I question the intelligence level of anybody who laughs at dumb, racist puppet humor.
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:17 AM PST up reply actions
Agreed completely.
I have no problem with racist humor. Some of the funniest comedic acts I know are racist as fuck. But when you’re not funny and you’re doing it, it just comes off as being a jerk.
Always the summers are slipping away.
Find me a way for making it stay.
I'm with you ,I think.
I’m less offended by his racism and more offended by his continuing to get paid for being a comedian. He sucks at it. He’s the Arthur Rhodes of Comedy.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 11:47 PM PST up reply actions
Don't hate the player, hate the game
I respect that Jeff Dunham makes no bones about who he is – a puppet comedian. He doesn’t steal material like other douche bags (Dane Cook, Carlos Mencia), doesn’t act like he’s the greatest comedian ever – he’s just doing his thing. If someone offered you a TV show and multiple comedy specials, would you turn them down in the name of comedy? Hell no you wouldn’t.
I’m not even a real fan of his – I think some of his bits are funny, but there are far better comedians out there (Louis C.K. FTW). This guy is popular right now, and he’s just riding the wave. It’s his own version of the American Dream. Plus, we know that talent has nothing to do with popularity.
I wouldn't be on stage with puppets.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 17, 2010 2:32 PM PST up reply actions
Yes you would
You’d be the hang man and/or executioner.
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
gp.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 17, 2010 7:47 PM PST up reply actions
Sock Puppets are scary
But not as scary as SoCk PuPpEtS!
Also, this thread needs more clown porn.
Hey Al, just go away, baby.
I have what you are looking for...
Keep in mind, of course, that "the best defense of Derek Jeter's life" ranks somewhere in between "the best fiscal responsibility of Mike Tyson's life" and "the best not-getting-assassinated-ness of James Garfield's life." -FJM
As long as they don't marry or join the military, I'm ok with sock puppets.
And if we find one with an OPS over 800, let’s sign him.
JJ Martin
The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. ~Bob Uecker
see, Bloomie, it's not just me...
I mean, you paint me as some sort of sock puppet lover or apologist, when I clearly stated in my above comment that
1- sock puppets eat, on average, 3000 people per year.
2- the economy would collapse without sock puppets
3- WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!
Are you really 100% us or them when it comes to sock puppets, or are you really just stirring up shit?
You know what… I think you’re just stirring up shit, Leopold_Bloom…
or should I say…. lEoPOlD BlOoM?
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 10:03 AM PST up reply actions
I mean, if we let them marry
What next? Will a man marry a ventriloquist dummy? Stop the insanity!
Why shouldn't a man marry a dummy?
Women do it all the time.
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
Besides
Do we really want dummies inbreeding? Cause that’s what they do. Often. Think of the children!!!
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
^^ this comment = winner
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I thought that this was going to be a fanpost about Oaktoon/windyfelix
"Since other people actually read these threads, though, probably best that your particular brand of wrongness not go completely unchallenged." - PT
There are differing opinions on me. According to Iglew "DFA is PT with a sense of humor. PT is DFA with introspective self-doubt. I like them both" but according to sirbed Im "The Stats Killer"
by designatedforassignment on Feb 11, 2010 10:25 AM PST reply actions
The last few people I thought were trolls
just turned out to be jocks.
And since this is a baseball site, we sort of have to put up with jocks, as long as they don’t call anybody names or base too many arguments on stats that only essentially mean anything to the players (Wins, AVG, etc…)
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 10:45 AM PST up reply actions
jocks love sock puppets.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 11:17 AM PST up reply actions
There are some who can do both sides of the equation
the jock/playing side, and the stat/number side.
Just sayin.
They call their best player "Kung Fu Panda" and they complain that people aren’t taking them or the game seriously enough? -Nick
What I'm really scared of...
I’m scared of there NOT being some sort of world changing event in 2012.
I’m scared that 20 or 50 or 100 years from now, it’ll just be same shit, different day, not just for me, but for humanity at large.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 10:51 AM PST reply actions
Would you prefer same day, different shit?
Groundhog day!!!
On a different note, I hope humanity hasn’t “peaked” either. All these futuristic sci-fi shows and the “utopia” of Star Trek’s future (after some hardships, of course) makes me dream of traveling amongst the stars and seeing the wonders that are out there…
Of course, seeing as how I was born into this era and not some advance-star-traveling era that humanity dreams is possible (not that I’m complaining – I’m glad I wasn’t born during the World Wars or the old Dynasty states of China), I just have to pray for some time-traveling capabilities to be created in the far future, so that my descendants can come back to take me to the future! Time-space continuum be damned!
that's what I want to happen...
12/21/2012 rolls around, and all that happens is that a British guy shows up at my door and drops off a TARDIS and off we go!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 12:54 PM PST up reply actions
You know, if it's just about wishing that TV-land were reality,
then I say to hell with stupid spaceships and time travel. I’d be satisfied just to live in the world of sitcoms where everyone is beautiful and there’s always some hot chick flirting with me even if I’m a total dork.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I need much more novelty than that
but I respect your approach.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:22 PM PST up reply actions
There is two hours of West Wing on every morning
this is all the fantasy / reality I need
I suspect that you think tilting at windmills means something other than what it does.
The ninth fastest thirty year old in San Francisco
by bobnothing on Feb 11, 2010 4:51 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Look at the big picture, G-S.
Maybe there won’t be a world changing event in 2012, or maybe not even in your lifetime.
But time is vast. The earth tends to have a huge climatic event every couple of centuries, so in enough time something is bound to knock humanity back to the stone age. Species don’t last forever either. Even if it’s the same shit for the next 100 years, you can still rest assured that it won’t go on forever, and there’s a good chance the entire human race will be snuffed out within a millennium or two.
So buck up, it’s not so bad.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I've replied to this comment seventeen times,
but my post button is staring at me and laughing.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 11:32 AM PST up reply actions
stick needles in it... i like it...
then again, if you’re gonna do that, might as well upgrade to the John Lackey Voodoo Doll.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 12:36 PM PST up reply actions
but it really takes dedication
to mutilate a sock puppet voodoo doll. If you have the guts to stick pins in your own fingers, then your curses will be extra strong.
and, extra bonus:
The sock puppet appears to bleed!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 2:43 PM PST up reply actions
OW! STIGMATA!
OW! … STIGMATA!
OW!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:24 PM PST up reply actions
FIRE SOCK PUPPETS NOW!!
Or, at least DFA them and send them to Sacramento.
by EddieVegas_NRAF on Feb 11, 2010 12:41 PM PST reply actions
Fuck and No!
You can have the damn sock puppets! You’ve got open hotel rooms down there, right?
Up here, they’d be living IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 12:54 PM PST up reply actions
Screw the hotel rooms
Could they buy some of our condos?
by EddieVegas_NRAF on Feb 11, 2010 12:59 PM PST up reply actions
they don't have money!
it’s a charity case either way, and I want them in your penthouses, not my streets!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 1:14 PM PST up reply actions
Screw the hotel rooms
Could they buy some of our condos?
by EddieVegas_NRAF on Feb 11, 2010 12:58 PM PST reply actions
do you know what the exchange rate is on sock puppet currency?
Vegas is gonna take a bath on this one, and I’m not talking about passing out in the water cannon pool at the Bellagio!
(double post, double punchline!)
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 1:16 PM PST up reply actions
Spiders, clowns, malpractice suits, and Sarah Palin running the country
"Smokey, this be not the foul jungles of the darkest East Orient. This be ninepins. We are bound by laws."
by Joey C. on Feb 11, 2010 1:04 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
that chick is wearing a corset.
looks like about a 24 inch waist…
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 1:13 PM PST up reply actions
You seem to be under the mistaken impression
that that thing is human.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
she actually is a human (Whodathunkit?)
She’s self-objectifying model Cherry 2500. She comes complete with 24 inch waist, bitter false submisiveness, and drinking problem.
diet pills and rum tumblers sold separately.
New! From Galoob!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:28 PM PST up reply actions
What I'm scared of
It needed to be full sized for you all to appreciate my fear. APPRECIATE IT!
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
NAPLAM IT!!!!!
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND PURE, NAPLAM IT!!!
I’ve seen that picture before, but now I’m curious – what species is that exactly? And how do I kill it if I ever come up across one?
Apparently
It’s called a camel spider and it takes the army to destroy one.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 1:46 PM PST up reply actions
the picture makes them look about 18 inches long,
but they’re not that big. Maybe about 1/3 that size…
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 1:54 PM PST up reply actions
Still pretty freakin huge though.
Even a six-inch spider is still about four inches more than necessary to make me flip out.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I like spiders.
I’ll let them crawl on me in front of people with phobias. Sometimes it tames the phobia, sometimes they just scream even louder!
My favorite is when I’m at someone else’s house, and someone freaks out over a nonpoisonous spider and wants it dead, then someone else’s heart bleeds and doesn’t want to kill it… While someone grudgingly goes and looks for tupperware, I’ll just trap it in my hands and take it outside.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:31 PM PST up reply actions
I never kill spiders.
I rarely remove them from my home. They don’t bother me, so why should I bother them?
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 4:05 PM PST up reply actions
What I hate the most
Is when they come toward me when I try to avoid them/leave them in peace (I refrain from killing them, since they can take care of those annoying flies and/or mosquitoes). I’ll see one going toward/hanging out on one side of the room, so I go to the opposite direction. Next thing I know, it’ll turn and go directly to where I’m sitting.
That’s when I rage. Or scream like a little schoolgirl and go for the vaccum (the latter was more frequent when I was younger). Sometimes, if I feel nice or patient, I’ll lay something in it’s path (piece of paper, tissue paper) and once it crawls on it, I’ll take it outside.
But that thing in that picture? I’m grabbing a flamethrower or a rocket launcher.
I'm grabbing a retractable camping fork...
If I’ll eat crawdads out of the drainage ditch, I’ll sure as hell eat that land crab!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 4:19 PM PST up reply actions
that shit looks like it walked off the set of Independence Day or Men in Black
"Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I'm trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?" - Rickey
by cuppingmaster on Feb 11, 2010 4:44 PM PST up reply actions
They eat the flies and gnats.
Too many spiders, though, and that means you have a disorganized house, and that’s bad for sanity and feng shui.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 4:18 PM PST up reply actions
Not enough food for spiders
in most homes.
I believe they are happier outside. They can’t fall in a drain, and get washed away to their death.
I always, always take them outside. It’s a jungle out there, but, better than the food desert inside. Sometimes coming upon a desiccated corpse in a web in a faraway corner of a room, tells me insects are too infrequently around for spiders to live well and prosper.
Awaiting the start of the 2010 season!
by One won lost won on Feb 11, 2010 10:22 PM PST up reply actions
That's your first mistake
Showing compassion for those beasts built for one purpose: human extinction. I’m humankind’s champion, fighting the good fight.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 11:10 PM PST up reply actions
but but...
I’m PRO human extinction!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 8:08 AM PST up reply actions
So what you're saying
is that you’re also pro-zombie?
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 12, 2010 8:29 AM PST up reply actions
I think I AM a zombie...
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 9:04 AM PST up reply actions
Cool. If your name is Zeke, I might be accidentally telling the story of your life in comic strip form.
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:23 AM PST up reply actions
Um, who ISN'T pro-zombie?
cough*linkinmysigline*cough
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:23 AM PST up reply actions
AN has traditionally been anti-zombie.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 10:54 AM PST up reply actions
AN has traditionally been anti-troll, too
but then those damn P.E.T.B.D. (people for the ethical treatment of bridge dwellers) people keep getting in our way!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 11:34 AM PST up reply actions
Well, this needs to change.
Long live…uh…well, okay, not live, exactly, zombies!
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 11:51 PM PST up reply actions
As it should be
For when the zombie apocalypse comes, will you be ready to fight?
#Q$*)%&TUASUKH%$#%*TYSD@#%!
Dude, label that NSFG or something…
(NSFG — Not safe for gigglingone)
Seriously, get that picture off my computer screen.
There's no crying in baseball!
Oh.
I forgot about your bug thing. Yeah.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 4:17 PM PST up reply actions
Click on the subject line.
It goes away.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I did that for you iglew
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 9:39 PM PST up reply actions
Oh my...
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KCm8fGFe0J8/SR5FM96Q0YI/AAAAAAAAGys/g-ULuubhOZg/s400/pider.jpg
Don’t click it you don’t like creepy crawlies.
Ooo! Piece of candy!
by ChickenStanley on Feb 11, 2010 11:20 PM PST up reply actions
Yeah, ew.
I tend to not care about spiders, but I live in the Midwest where “spider” means something the size of a quarter. I only kill one if it crosses my path (I have this unspoken “you leave me alone, and I’ll leave you alone” policy with them), but that’s because where I live, bugs are the normal size. Spiders are never, ever allowed to be on my face.
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:26 AM PST up reply actions
That man is already dead
The spider’s venom has frozen his face in a grin, right before it devours him whole.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 12, 2010 11:48 AM PST up reply actions
Other things to be afraid of
Baked tapioca
"Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I'm trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?" - Rickey
I was thinking it looked more like an insect colony
"Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I'm trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?" - Rickey
by cuppingmaster on Feb 11, 2010 4:43 PM PST up reply actions
Why would someone take a dump in your pudding?
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
oh come on, that's the best part of the Coli
"Do I talk to myself? No, I just remind myself of what I'm trying to do. You know, I never answer myself so how can I be talking to myself?" - Rickey
by cuppingmaster on Feb 11, 2010 2:03 PM PST up reply actions
I have a lot of love for urinal troughs.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 2:27 PM PST up reply actions
My family and friends dying before I can tell them how much I hate them.
by LongLiveLangerhans on Feb 11, 2010 2:00 PM PST reply actions
I like you more now.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 2:27 PM PST up reply actions
I just tried, for the hell of it,
to think of somebody I hate…
my mind drew a total blank…
People who hate intensely never forget who they hate, right? Or does the hate just turn into a general hate, and it doesn’t matter who they hate?
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:34 PM PST up reply actions
I like you.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 4:05 PM PST up reply actions
no... you mean you hate him, right?
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 6:06 PM PST up reply actions
I don't hate anyone.
There has to be love there for you to hate someone. I dislike a lot of people, but hate nobody.
Some motherfcukers are always trying to ice skate uphill - Blade.
I hate one person, sometime two
And yes, there is at least a little love in that hate in the one case and a lot of love in the other. And I dislike a lot of people.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Is one of them me?!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 1:17 PM PST up reply actions
Can't think of anyone to hate? Allow me to help!
John Lackey, Derek Lowe, A-Rod, Barry Bonds, Jason Kendall, Bobby Crosby, Josh Beckett, Chone Figgins, Kenny Rogers (the pitcher, not the roaster). Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Spencer Pratt, Jon Gosselin…
See? That wasn’t so hard.
Who are you to talk?
You own a shitload of sock puppets!
Just because you keep them on your golf clubs doesn’t mean they’re not sock puppets!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 3:35 PM PST up reply actions
pwned!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 4:06 PM PST up reply actions
How to make and kill Sock Puppets before they destroy the planet
A Sock is a hideous thing. It can cause hemorraging of the brain, that’s for sure. Better yet, it can become a zillion different critters. Sock puppets are easy to make and easy to kill.
All you need to do is start with a sock.
1. Put the sock on your hand so that your fingers and thumb are in the toe and the back of your wrist is in the heel.
2. To make room for your puppet’s mouth, make a slit in the sock between your thumb and fingers.
3. Cut an oval 3 inches across and 5 inches long…make that 2 ovals, one of posterboard or milk bottle plastic-something semi rigid and one of fabric.
4. Glue the fabric oval to the posterboard (rigid) oval with white glue.
5. After the glue has begun to dry, fold them in half the short way.
6. Sew folded oval into your sock. Finally, your puppet can talk.
7. Now the fun begins! What your puppet becomes depends on you. Think eyes, hair, ears, hats, moustaches, beards, eyebrows, noses, collars, neckties, shirts and dresses.
8. Once you have completed your sock puppet, you must destroy it immediately to prevent it from committing atrocities upon mankind. Take a dull ax, place the sock puppet firmly on a chopping block and repeatedly strike at the neckular region until the puppet has been severed.
Sock puppets are fun and extremely dangerous. Kill them now.
"Tonto think Billy Beane need to make team full of squirrels and bears."
by OptimistPrime on Feb 11, 2010 3:06 PM PST reply actions 1 recs
you can stay.
I still work the remote, but you can stay.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 3:08 PM PST up reply actions
You are not supposed to
It’s your punishment for making one to begin with.
"Tonto think Billy Beane need to make team full of squirrels and bears."
by OptimistPrime on Feb 11, 2010 3:11 PM PST up reply actions
I think I am afraid of that "mentally handicapped" girl.
But I’d still call her. And by call I mean, well, yeah.
I'm here to talk about the past.
IK,R?
she’s attractive in that “don’t trust me alone with the scissors” kinda way.
Though my ex-wife qualified for that, in an entirely different way.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 4:07 PM PST up reply actions
I think I wrote a song about your ex-wife a long time ago...
the main line was
“lookin’ for a girl who’ll treat me like a creep… try to kill me with a bootknife when I go to sleep…
lookin’ for a girl, doesn’t matter what race… she gotta have tattoos and a pierced up face…
but since I met’ya baby, don’t know what to do…
Jesus, I’ve been waiting for a girl like you…”
of course, the punch line is that the song is actually a love song to Jesus in drag, and at the end of the song, my buddy with Jesuslike hair and beard would come out from backstage dressed like a hooker… in heels and nightie and makeup…
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 4:16 PM PST up reply actions
That's pretty frickin' awesome.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 4:19 PM PST up reply actions
speaking of girls I'd totally call
you might as well be honest when you drunkenly steal an ambulance
I suspect that you think tilting at windmills means something other than what it does.
The ninth fastest thirty year old in San Francisco
I'm in love.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 5:36 PM PST up reply actions
no, colin.
it helps that she’s CWAZY.
I like the cwazy ones.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 6:59 PM PST up reply actions
Caught Wandering Away from the Zombie Yard = CWAZY?
Sorrrry – it’s a game I play when I see all caps.
MikeV must make you go all loopy.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:10 PM PST up reply actions
I still like it
Very fitting.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
/cocks shotgun
They call their best player "Kung Fu Panda" and they complain that people aren’t taking them or the game seriously enough? -Nick
that's a cool game.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
in green lands eats weeds?
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 11:44 AM PST up reply actions
it's got little electric wheels.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
by iglew on Feb 12, 2010 11:47 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
i glow little eel watcher
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
it's green like echewed Wonderbread.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 1:18 PM PST up reply actions
I saw her first
She is drunk, hot, and seemingly prone to making poor life choices. Right in my wheelhouse.
I suspect that you think tilting at windmills means something other than what it does.
The ninth fastest thirty year old in San Francisco
you wouldn't steal it with her, though.
You’d make her lettuce soup and call the hospital looking for her.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:54 PM PST up reply actions
well, that's fine
I was more thinking that ‘hanging out with me’ qualifies as a ‘poor life choice’.
I suspect that you think tilting at windmills means something other than what it does.
The ninth fastest thirty year old in San Francisco
oh.
now I’m sad for you.
Okay, bob, you can have her.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:56 PM PST up reply actions
hey, I've no problem with accepting it
It just means I have to hang with a certain type of lady.
which is fine, I prefer it that way.
So long as I have my wallet in the morning.
I suspect that you think tilting at windmills means something other than what it does.
The ninth fastest thirty year old in San Francisco
What about finger puppets?
My brother got us some cute animal ones from the local National Park for Xmas, and I’d hate to have to kill them. I mean, the species they are modeled on are practically endangered. LB, please enlighten me.
@worldblee on Twitter.
Yeah, they're cute when they're little
But then they grow up into evil sock puppets.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Sock puppets make me think of yeast.
Any Good Eats fans here?
burp
I bleed green and gold!!! (my doctor is worried)
by Vaillant on Feb 11, 2010 5:23 PM PST via mobile reply actions
heights, confrontations, being fired for posting on AN too much
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
you know, if your boss wants to fire you for posting too much here,
you should walk up to him and sucker punch him. Get it out of the way immediately.
Then get on with your life. You don’t need a job like that.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 5:38 PM PST up reply actions
better yet, beat the crap out of yourself and get him blamed for it,
like Fight Club…
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 11, 2010 6:07 PM PST up reply actions
well, my Boss is a woman so . . .
plus, I’m not exactly qualified or educated enough to get another decent job and this is a pretty sweet gig anyways.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
I only work for women, gay men, or myself.
Right now, it’s a combination of the three.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 11:36 AM PST up reply actions
no, that's me, silly.
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 2:49 PM PST up reply actions
WS and Gigs,
DO NOT click on her link.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 7:00 PM PST up reply actions
IKR!
I found one in our back yard up in Clear Lake one time that was HUGE! Seriously! It must have been a foot in length. Someone had squished it, so it was just laying there. All smashed and shit. They are scary as hell!
wait.
when did you live in Clear Lake?
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 7:16 PM PST up reply actions
ooooooo
rich girl.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 7:19 PM PST up reply actions
Not really.
But we were really lucky to have it. My daddy worked hard to give that to us, and we all worked hard to keep it.
Dude, you don't know Clear Lake.
Rich folk would not get their second home there. I know the name sounds glamorous, and the lake is actually kind of pretty, but the folks who live there are kind of … I don’t know, I wouldn’t say Arkansas, quite, but it definitely feels like middle America.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
I actually do know Clear lake.
Yeah, Arkansas.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:10 PM PST up reply actions
very purty.
I like Lakeville, is it? Lakeport? Lakeport.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:22 PM PST up reply actions
Lakeport!
Its the main town there. Our house was on 8th Street. Patti’s was outside of town down the road from the races. Which we went to every Saturday.
Lakeport was fun.
Drive in movie theatre.
Saw High Infidelity and Erin Brockovich there.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:54 PM PST up reply actions
Ooo Clearlake!
My friend has a house out in Nice, right on the lake. We go up there quite a few times a year, get drunk and the head to the Boathouse bar down the street to get even more drunk before going back to the house and drinking summore. I think we throw some food in there too, but who can remember for sure?
God, I feel a hangover coming on just typing about it.
Ooo! Piece of candy!
by ChickenStanley on Feb 11, 2010 10:27 PM PST up reply actions
Go!
Just be warned that during the summer its gets extra hot which makes you extra crispy. I usually tan well and don’t burn, but one year, after spending just one day in the sun, I had patches of skin actually turn purple which lasted many months hahaha In other words, just don’t always believe what the temp gage says ;)
But go and have fun. Its so worth it
Ooo! Piece of candy!
by ChickenStanley on Feb 11, 2010 10:45 PM PST up reply actions
I never got to go
But my friends told me about it. They are really sad they closed it down late last year. There is a bit of hope that someone will come in and reopen it, but I guess it doesn’t seem likely.
Ooo! Piece of candy!
by ChickenStanley on Feb 11, 2010 10:56 PM PST up reply actions
I did not know....
That’s why I stopped getting the email alerts…..I LOVE outdoor venues and it was a good one. If a bit far.
I have.
Its lovely, and I’m bummed about it closing.
Best concert I ever saw there, Bob Dylan. Believe it or not, we were up and dancing pretty much the whole time.
Worst, Robert Plant and Alison Krause. It was cold and windy and they were boring.
One year at the Mendocino Music Festival
They were doing a piece with a big chorus (Verdi requiem) so they had recruited a bunch of kids from the Lakeport High School choir to join. I talked to some of them and they were all excited like, “Wow, it’s so exciting to be able to make this trip,” and I thought, “Dude, you’re like 90 minutes away. You’ve never been to Mendocino?” but they were acting like it was a trip to Vienna or something.
I think Lakeport is more like Nebraska. True Arkansas would be Whiskeytown Lake up by Redding. Damn, that lake is well-named. Serious redneckery up there.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
It's funny,
The people I hooked up with during the Summer were not from there, for the most part. I met my first real boyfriend there, and he was from New York. (Think Travis Buck, but even blonder.)
Note to self: Read following comment BEFORE clicking on link.....
eeek!
There's no crying in baseball!
You should have put my name in there too
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 9:49 PM PST up reply actions
Mobile commenting available! Keep the conversation going.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Mobile commenting available! Keep the conversation going.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Mobile commenting available! Keep the conversation going.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Mobile commenting available! Keep the conversation going.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Some sock puppet with a cell phone. I hate even more when they twitter.
JJ Martin
The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. ~Bob Uecker
they have no hands of their own, so they must text with their noses.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 7:54 PM PST up reply actions
/beaks.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 7:54 PM PST up reply actions
Eyes.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
sock puppet boxing.
You know-sport of the future.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 8:20 PM PST up reply actions
I thought that's how they say hello
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
I'm not EVEN gonna go looking for a picture of what I am scared of.....
I can’t stand ’em that much!! sssssssssssssssss
I am not scared of them,
because my pops used to sing me this as a kid.
I miss my dad.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:14 PM PST up reply actions
I hear you.
My dad’s birthday is on Sunday. Its Valentine’s Day to everyone else. My dad’s birthday to me. I sent you a little something, though.
Valentine's Day
It’s the worst holiday ever. Tell your dad I said happy birthday, though.
The Ultimate Opportunist
by Rated-R Superstar on Feb 11, 2010 9:43 PM PST up reply actions
Agreed on both counts
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
The best holiday ever is exactly1 month later.
They call their best player "Kung Fu Panda" and they complain that people aren’t taking them or the game seriously enough? -Nick
Hm
Exactly one month after February 14 is March 14, Stephen Curry’s birthday. I didn’t know that it was a holiday yet!
The Ultimate Opportunist
by Rated-R Superstar on Feb 11, 2010 11:36 PM PST up reply actions
Championships first... holiday later...
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 8:15 AM PST up reply actions
Ah, what a glorious day
Steak never tasted so good!
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 11:48 PM PST up reply actions
daylight savings time?
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 11:48 PM PST up reply actions
Mice don't frighten me.
Rats are not good.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:15 PM PST up reply actions
I want to hate rats.
But our shop dog, Dweezil, is so good at catching them, I kinda have to feel sorry for them.
Your shop dog is a good dog
I felt sorry once for a rat that was dying of D-Con poisoning. I felt so sorry for it that I bashed its soulless existence right down to hell. After I found 7 farking dead rats in my back yard, I didn’t feel the least bit of remorse. Farking rats.
Hey Al, just go away, baby.
My 3rd grade teacher
Had a class rat which one person got to take home every weekend so I guess getting that phobia out of the way at a young age was a good thing.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 9:53 PM PST up reply actions
Nothing sez learnin' like community rat.
Black plague would’ve loved your school.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:55 PM PST up reply actions
That teacher also taught me the word "shit"
It surprises me that it took that long.
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 9:57 PM PST up reply actions
I'm surprised he/she still had a job,
what with passing out random rodents and teaching the children to curse.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 11:49 PM PST up reply actions
"Still has a job"? -- Heck, I was PROMOTED!
I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal
Because
I don’t want you to get any sleep tonight.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Well played good sir
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
I'm not sure what delights me more, AN:
that a post I made while delusional got 11 recs or that no less than 10 of you think I’m truly insane.
I think the latter.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Why can't it be both?
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
A-GREED!
(c’mon Berry Jo, keep up…)
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 9:49 PM PST up reply actions
DMOAS
Come on, this a real one!!
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Funny you should ask.....I was just thinking about that!
I’ll do my best without a hint…..
Distinctly Marvelous Or Actually Superb
Hint #1
In a squirrelly extremely roundabout way, it’s semi-not unrelated to the A’s and their, let’s say, “health” habits. One player in particular. Though, the name is technically non-A’s related.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Disabled Men On A Squad
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 11, 2010 10:21 PM PST up reply actions
Okay so that clue didn't help.....
Don’t Mind Our Awful Spit
Derogatory Monsters Obfuscate A’s Skills
Hint #2 & #3
Third and fourth words combined are only 3 letters.
Think about a player who’s not Mexican enough and what’s he’s been for the team last couple of years. (His level of Mexicanism is entirely irrelevant).
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Dead Meat on A Stick?
Unless you’re much more racist than I suspected.
by LongLiveLangerhans on Feb 12, 2010 12:03 AM PST up reply actions
Ooooh 4 out of 5
And no, the 5th isn’t racial related, but could be considered speciesist or genderist I suppose.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
'Fraid not
Though that’s actually funnier.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Disabled Meat on a stick
Dead Mexican on a stick
Dead Mammoth on a stick
Defensive Meat on a stick
but my final guess is:
Dead Meat On A Seat!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 11:41 AM PST up reply actions
The "Dead" and "on a stick" are correct.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Bingo!
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Well, to me it will always be
Damn! My ovaries are swollen!
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 2:52 PM PST up reply actions
Destiny made our asses sweet.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 3:23 PM PST up reply actions
Ah so it's a religious joke.
I get ya.
by LongLiveLangerhans on Feb 12, 2010 5:50 PM PST up reply actions
More a description of my lack of supremecy
In first person shooters. When I get bored in them, look out cause I’m going to find new and inventive ways to kill myself.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
I get slightly scared of URLs/files that end in .swf
Mainly because of stuff like this.
"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you." - Satchel Paige
Yeah, that freaked me out.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 11, 2010 11:54 PM PST up reply actions
A few years ago
A friend sent me that at like midnight, and everyone was asleep, so the house was totally silent. I had never seen one of those before, so I actually had the volume turned up.
"Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you." - Satchel Paige
Okay, two things.
1. I’ve managed to get a nasty virus on my computer and I’m afraid now that I’ve destroyed four or five years worth of files.
2. I got frustrated and came home and was watching Iron Chef on the DVR and I think I just saw Bobby Flay’s team take goat cheese, roll it in some kind of butter/chocolate coating and deep fry it. No, no, wait. Let me repeat that. They took GOAT CHEESE, coated it with BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE & DEEP FRIED IT.
3. I’m not sure which scares me more.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
oh my god
that sounds so good. mmmmmmmmmmmm…
…we’re talking about the virus, right? Files are tasty!
why would you root again't me, fellow alumni?!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 6:45 AM PST up reply actions
Nico, can we get you to weigh in on the goat cheese?
"Tonto think Billy Beane need to make team full of squirrels and bears."
by OptimistPrime on Feb 12, 2010 6:00 AM PST up reply actions
Download malwarebytes. Seems to work well in fixing you once you're already infected
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:53 AM PST up reply actions
where we you before they took my tower?
They had to take it back to their geek shack or whatever. I have no “real” computer. Just this wannabe.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 10:55 AM PST up reply actions
My worst nightmare?
www.zekeishungry.com
by thejd44 on Feb 12, 2010 10:47 AM PST reply actions 1 recs
thanks for the nightmare.
JJ Martin
The best way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until the ball stops rolling and then pick it up. ~Bob Uecker
I don't know
If we somehow made it the championship game with this roster, who’s to argue with their success. I say ride it out. Odds are they facing off against the exact same lineup, a roster full of zombies, or a squad of sock puppets who reaaaalllly can’t pitch.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
If AN had immediate commenting ability,
right now I would sign up for an account as:
9BobbyCrosbys
and post
“I heartily endorse this message.”
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 12, 2010 11:43 AM PST up reply actions
8EmilBrowns just wants some playing time
"Their batters are patient to the point that it's annoying." -Ryan Franklin
by Helloooo 1st on Feb 12, 2010 11:50 AM PST up reply actions
OctogonalRBIMachine likes this
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
NOT FUNNY 44!!
Ima have bad dreams tonight you meanie!!
"I mean, come on, man. I'm a vet. Don't talk to me like that. If they do, I'll just smile." Nnamdi Asomugha
by s0sNe@kYbUtY? on Feb 13, 2010 1:18 PM PST up reply actions
Thanks, Oldham!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 1:21 PM PST up reply actions
Christ. I don't even merit a poll option any more?
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
I kind of did the whole post for you.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 3:24 PM PST up reply actions
And yet I feel strangely unfulfilled.
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
Oh go stick your hand in a sock
You ungrateful puppet lover.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
but you gotta admit the mb line I have now is good.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 11:48 PM PST up reply actions
Sure, but I was the second most famous ANer last year
Because I was in all your posts.
"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson
this is true...
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2010 10:50 AM PST up reply actions
Christ what a past poll.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 12, 2010 4:50 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
Somebody needs to make
a sock puppet of Peter Gammons….
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
So I can really despise it?
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2010 3:12 PM PST up reply actions
So you can let the sock puppet feed you and then you can bite it.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
Wow.
We’re about five metaphors deep now, right?
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2010 6:32 PM PST up reply actions
At least
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
we need a map out.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2010 7:45 PM PST up reply actions
We don't need no stinking map
Just a chainsaw and a shotgun. We’ll kick that evil hand’s ass.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
okay.
I’m with you.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2010 9:14 PM PST up reply actions
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
recently, I had occasion to use this.
Honest. I ran outta gas. I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from outta town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake, a terrible flood, locust’s. It wasn’t my fault!! I swear to God!!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 13, 2010 10:21 PM PST up reply actions
She would have been more understanding had he simply told her the truth
He was on a mission from god. To rid the world of SoCk PuPPetS.
CuttheMullet, from "The Thread":
"Whenever I’m about to do something, I think "would an idiot do that?" and if they would, I do not do that thing."
How many experience points do you get for slaying one of those?
Celebrating my 5 year ANniversary... (SPWC/K56/ThePilotsDaredMeToDie/Gaijin_Suketto)
by Gaijin_Suketto on Feb 14, 2010 1:21 AM PST up reply actions
not 250, I'm afraid.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 14, 2010 2:16 AM PST up reply actions
you know it's a slow week when
people are still posting on a 7 day old thread about sock puppets.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
I thought it was my charm and strength of personality and good looks.
Oh, and my modesty.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 18, 2010 6:43 PM PST up reply actions
Mahna manah
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
shit, I'm batting .750, bitches!
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 18, 2010 8:32 PM PST up reply actions
you are correct
if I posted a thread with a bunch of sock puppets it would probably get 2 comments.
You have to include smiley faces - Poppy
;- ) :- ) :-O : -> : -] : -}
I would probably have made them both.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
by Leopold Bloom on Feb 19, 2010 7:02 PM PST up reply actions
I just wanted to add something here
to make it an even 10 days of responses.
Thank you drive through.
Ooo! Piece of candy!
I may have to list this on my resume/CV
I once had a recommended fanpost about sock puppets up at AN for two weeks.
IT WAS GLORIOUS.
… and therein lies the tension between discouraging free rodent upgrades and relying on random walkup business. LB, you should tarp your kitchen. And move to San Jose. -mb
Mah
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
Na
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
Ma
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
nah
Leopold Bloom on why he loves Mr. Peter Gammons, his best buddy:
"Peter Gammons systematically ignored and/or ran down the A’s in the pages of Sports Illustrated and The Sporting News for a good ten year stretch in the late seventies and early to mid-eighties. Trust me, the c**ksucker hates our team."
Mahna Mahna
Do Do – Do Do Do
Ooo! Piece of candy!
by ChickenStanley on Feb 25, 2010 12:11 AM PST reply actions
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