Emmett89. That's me. I'm a seldom seen sometimes poster (SSSP is the new term for lurker), but it's my time to bust out of the shadows and become a full fledged Athleticsnation.com super poster. I had plans for my coming out party (not like that, 'not that there is anything wrong with that '© Seinfeld 1993, get used to some funny pop culture reference in my posts, BTW) last season, but I wasn't mature enough for it. I didn't have the confidence to assert myself into the game threads with the panache I needed to have.
Sure, I could come waltzing into game threads, when the A's have two on and two out and need a run, and I could say, "Need a hit here". But where does that get us? Nowhere. That's where. I'll be pictured as a 50 something year old man wearing cargo shorts and a Tommy Bahama© shirt! And that's not what I am, it's what I want to be, but not what I am.
However, the Emmett89 of today will say something off the cuff like..."Come on Ry-Ry Sweeney-Dean! Papa needs some SKAPOW right here!". I'm talking good stuff. It'll get the rest of the fans in the game thread pumped and a tad bit curious. Thoughts in their head saying, "Wow, Ry-Ry Sweeney-Dean? This guy is for real."
When I throw down my tight comments like that, what will I be pictured as? I'll leave that up to you. But I bet it has something to do with a green afro wig...
So, Ladies and Gents, get ready for a barrage of HILARIOUS nicknames and pop culture references this season. Ry-Ry Sweeney-Dean and Senifeld© is just the tip of the kick-ass iceberg. Not to make the two months before the season starts seem even long...but let's just say when Adrian Cardenas makes his debut, I'll be posting a line from a famous Sylvester Stallone movie each time he does something good. And that movie is NOT 'Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot' starring Estelle Getty (RIP).
If this fanpost didn't get your green and gold juices flowing, then you go ahead and go right over to Halos HELL (opposite of heaven is hell...). Because the A's train is at full blast. And I'm the conductor. So get on or get hit and/or ran over. CHOO CHOO. CHUG CHUG CHUG.
Rajai for Prez!