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Around SBN: The End Of Sabanball: Details, Barbarians, And Precision

Front Page: No One's Leaving, But Guess Who's Coming...?

His life has been one long paragraph. He doesn't believe in capital punishment letters. A new front page voice is coming to AN in March, 2010, and his name is...

Star-divide

...emperor nobody! We've felt like we were a writer short this year on the front page, with baseballgirl, 67MARQUEZ, Flashfire, and me covering 7 days, and so we've lined up emperor nobody to join the regular crew with the new baseball season, to partake in the game thread, recap, and general front page madness that is AN. We think he's just insane enough to qualify -- heck, he was crazy enough to accept the offer to join the front page.

Why am I telling you this now? Because between now and March, emperor nobody will be easing in as AN's "super sub" and he will be making his illustrious debut tomorrow. That's right: He gets an Edgar Gonzalez start for his game thread debut. Life is cruel.

Now if his debut is anything like mine, first emperor nobody will put up 2 threads at the same time, and then he will accidentally delete Lookout Landing before somehow banning himself while authorizing Guam to invade Canada. Welcome aboard, EN!

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I think I speak for everyone, or most everyone, when I say,

I can’t wait for your Game Recaps!

But seriously, welcome to the front page and best of luck!

ken korach's voice is like peanut butter on velvet, not joe buck's.

by mrbendy on Aug 31, 2009 8:21 AM PDT reply actions  

TY Lynn that means a lot to me

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 9:22 AM PDT up reply actions  

You deserve to be a regular

It's not the results, it's how you look going about those results -- Tim McCarver

by WaddellCanseco on Aug 31, 2009 6:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

Rec'd

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 31, 2009 10:02 AM PDT up reply actions  

yep

and I rec’d the Tonto suggestion too!

by colin on Aug 31, 2009 11:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

+1

I thought the exact same thing, but decided to let my bitterness overcome my objectivity. Suck it, objectivity. -salb918

by Leopold Bloom on Aug 31, 2009 10:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

Probably when he stops being verball abusive at posters who he finds annoying?

Not exactly front-page decorum, if you know what I mean.

As for as intellect, dedication, and overall writing ability of course he would make a good contributor.

by Pucking Insane on Aug 31, 2009 11:34 AM PDT up reply actions   2 recs

I feel like he could rise to the challenge.

Hey, Raburn! YOU ever dive into the shallow end of a pool?--noava22

by lynnzgal on Aug 31, 2009 11:44 AM PDT up reply actions  

Hey it works for grover :-P

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 12:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

LOL!

I thought the exact same thing, but decided to let my bitterness overcome my objectivity. Suck it, objectivity. -salb918

by Leopold Bloom on Aug 31, 2009 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

I agree with this statement.

signed, Kallus

"I'm pretty sure I heard Ray Fosse call a run a "point" tonight." - travdog6

by Kallus on Sep 1, 2009 12:27 AM PDT up reply actions  

Guam is a US territory

Canada is safe, as long as they keep sending us bacon.

by MobiusKlein on Aug 31, 2009 9:04 AM PDT reply actions  

Bacon is my friend.

I'm here to talk about the past.

by 67MARQUEZ on Aug 31, 2009 9:15 AM PDT up reply actions  

Canadian bacon is bastardized bacon

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 9:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

Bacon and laughing are the same

they both should come from the belly

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 10:17 AM PDT up reply actions  

Hey noob!

Can you take my shift tonight? ;-)

Looking froward to rookie hazing day. Oh the horror!

Welcome aboard, emperor!

I'm here to talk about the past.

by 67MARQUEZ on Aug 31, 2009 9:15 AM PDT reply actions  

I constantly get passed over for these promotions.

This is such a mom and pop organisation. I want a trade. :-P

Some motherfcukers are always trying to ice skate uphill - Blade.

by OldhamA on Aug 31, 2009 9:15 AM PDT reply actions  

youre finger injury isnt real! you shouldn't be on the DL

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 9:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

Uh oh

That’s a momentum-killing “youre” right there…

"There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want" -Bill Watterson

by nevermoor on Aug 31, 2009 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions  

lol yeah that was bad

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 10:15 AM PDT up reply actions  

Let's hear what your dad has to say.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 31, 2009 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions  

You're lucky, OldhamA

We drafted OldhamB in the later rounds as a token favor to you and your overbearing father, and this is the thanks we get? You publicly trash the organization?

Batting 4th for the 2014 San Jose A's: 26-year-old RF Justin Upton, in the 1st season of a nine year, $250M deal.

by notsellingjeans on Aug 31, 2009 5:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

Congradulations emporer nobody

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 9:21 AM PDT reply actions  

YAY!

Welcome aboard!

"Bobby Crosby at third is a bit of an adventure. And not like, here’s some hidden treasure, what fun. More like, gah! poison ants!" --alea iacta est

by baseballgirl on Aug 31, 2009 9:46 AM PDT reply actions  

Yay!

We’ll try to behave ourselves tomorrow night….at least for the first few innings… ;)

There's no crying in baseball!

by gigglingone on Aug 31, 2009 9:49 AM PDT reply actions  

now where is the fun in that?

Anarchy and chaos would fit right in with an EN game thread….

Congrats you clever devil…. :)

Zeigler to Geren…."A-Rod? He’s my bitch." -alox

by mrod on Aug 31, 2009 10:50 AM PDT up reply actions  

Is that ee?

Is that ee emperor nobody? Welcome aboard.

by Graybeard on Aug 31, 2009 12:37 PM PDT reply actions  

glad to see

someone keeps track of the cummings and goings around here ;)

Hey, I just bought the team from Lew Wolff... who wants to play third?

by emperor nobody on Aug 31, 2009 3:12 PM PDT up reply actions  

impressive.

That was so bad it was good.

by whiteshoes40 on Aug 31, 2009 5:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Who?

oh, nobody.

I care about your fantasy team.

by stormtown on Aug 31, 2009 12:48 PM PDT reply actions  

Did anyone read the fanpost about the NYT article about Miggy tipping pitches when he played for the A's?

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

Does anyone else here have a job, family, life, etc... that would cause them to miss one topic...

out of the thousands of topics covered on AN?

"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did." -Yogi Berra

by brenarlo on Aug 31, 2009 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

Its also in the daily link dump today

this is neither a DLD nor a Fanpost so just randomly posting it here is uncouth.

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 3:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

Sorry for not following protocol

I don’t spend much time on AN so forgive me. I thought A’s fans may find this article interesting.

by dubstylerz on Aug 31, 2009 4:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Its ok

Look for something in a fanpost or the DLD first then if you dont find it write a fanpost yourself. It helps keep discussions followable and keeps you from hijacking topics.

Clearly the answer is to spend more time at AN. :-)

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 4:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

Read the article brenarlo

Unless you find New York Times writers unreliable

by dubstylerz on Aug 31, 2009 4:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

nice pic

I am the big September 1st call-up, hopefully I will stick in the bigs ;)

Hey, I just bought the team from Lew Wolff... who wants to play third?

by emperor nobody on Aug 31, 2009 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don't think you should be called up

Not until about May of next year. That way we gain another year of AN control before you hit free agency.

by Faust on Aug 31, 2009 5:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

sweet, sweet Faustus.

Al: We gotta form a government for the settlement.
Merrick: Who does?
Al: Us! You and me. Come to me in a vision! You stupid bastard

by Leopold Bloom on Aug 31, 2009 6:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

you all are too kind

Obviously, Nico has not hipped you to the new rule about only Portuguese being allowed spoken in the game threads on Tuesdays next season.

Look at it as an opportunity, friends, to learn a vital new language and impress your pals in Lisbon. If I were you guys, I wouldn’t panic, just hit Google Translate and make sure you know how to say “Aw, Kust struck out with the bases loaded and no one out 4 times in one game?!?” in at least 5 different languages LOLOLOLOL

Seriously thanks for the welcome, friendlies, I will see y’all tomorrow night… hopefully I won’t accidentally delete Halos Heaven when I set up the first thread, Rev hates when that happens.

Hey, I just bought the team from Lew Wolff... who wants to play third?

by emperor nobody on Aug 31, 2009 1:56 PM PDT reply actions  

Todos granizam o Imperador Ninguém!

"Go ahead and overachieve, you scrappy Brett-Favre-colored walk-takers." —Rev Halofan

by iglew on Aug 31, 2009 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Isso é o que eu estou falando.

This is a real asset if you’re going through a HUGE Tropicalismo phase like I am; it really makes listening to Brazilian music even more thoroughly awesome than nature intends.

Hey, I just bought the team from Lew Wolff... who wants to play third?

by emperor nobody on Aug 31, 2009 3:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

So you're actually fluent?

Did I get the grammar right? I know Portuguese even less than I know French, which I’ve managed to foul up in game threads on more than one occasion….

"Go ahead and overachieve, you scrappy Brett-Favre-colored walk-takers." —Rev Halofan

by iglew on Aug 31, 2009 3:37 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wait, that was Portuguese?

I thought it was Elvish.

And I’m guessing that LOL (but perhaps not LOLOLOLOL) is a lot like “OK” – something that originated in English (setting aside any purported Norwegian connection for the moment) and then was adopted by pretty much every language, including Portuguese and Elvish.

by Faust on Aug 31, 2009 5:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

Shhhh

We’ve got him convinced it’s English…

by As Fan in the Bronx on Aug 31, 2009 10:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

CSS FTW!

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 3:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

Conexão falhou!

falha ao conectar no servidor, por favor tente novamente mais tarde

Falha no download do componente, tente novamente mais tarde.

by MobiusKlein on Aug 31, 2009 5:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

I'm not positive, but I think I've got to ride

three days Westward and protect the forest of Lothlórien.

That, or Mobius wants me to pick up milk on the way home.

Al: We gotta form a government for the settlement.
Merrick: Who does?
Al: Us! You and me. Come to me in a vision! You stupid bastard

by Leopold Bloom on Aug 31, 2009 6:42 PM PDT up reply actions  

Hmm...I got something about protecting the milk on the way to the forest.

Portuguese is harrrrrd. :-(

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 31, 2009 6:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

Let Tomko do it!

No, but seriously, welcome aboard. It’s a good thing I have that Portuguese-English dictionary still lying around!

Rickey has spoken. Keep the Athletics in Bump City.

by LeSaboteur on Aug 31, 2009 2:28 PM PDT reply actions  

Oh hai thar emperor nobody.

Awesome.

"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it" ~ Mae West

by Blicks on Aug 31, 2009 4:07 PM PDT reply actions  

ave, o imperator nemo!

sententias dicturi te salutant!

"And Julio Franco is batting right-handed!" -- Wayne Hagin, A's radio play-by-play, mid-80s

by Nick on Aug 31, 2009 5:13 PM PDT reply actions  

Congrats Emperor!

sua mãe limpa minhas meias

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-

by Daniel777 on Aug 31, 2009 5:30 PM PDT reply actions  

Congrats Emperor

It’s always nice to see another good AN’er get promoted. I hope you got Scott Boras to get you a big bonus.

I guess I should have done this in Portuguese but I’ve barely got English down at this point so I don’t think I’ll risk it.

Oh I have to say I’m loving the photo that comes with this post. The dude with the bug spray is rocking an awesome middle aged man mullet.

by sirbed on Aug 31, 2009 5:48 PM PDT reply actions  

Monday night vs. Kansas City?

You may well be the only fan there tonight.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 31, 2009 5:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

Im going on Wednesday!

thanks imaseasonticketholder!

The Halos announcers sound like frat boys at a kegger… Ken Korach calls a game like a grown-ass man - Emperor Nobody

by designatedforassignment on Aug 31, 2009 6:00 PM PDT up reply actions  

I tried to choose you, but I called a few random phone numbers in Colorado

and when they weren’t you I just gave up.

I like Cindi. A. She never pretends to know more than she does. B. She has unbridled enthusiasm for her "Hotties," and isn't afraid to show it. -IM4Oakgal

by Nico on Aug 31, 2009 6:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

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